I started today happy.

Woke up, checked my email, browsed reddit while I was waiting for the shower to heat up. Saw that something I wrote in a trollish mood had rustled some jimmies. Usual collection of hate mail, of course. No death threats this time, but the day is still young. I have high hopes.

As I pulled on to the freeway at about 10:30am...

... turning up the stereo to flood-the-area levels ...

She's a gooooooooooooood girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She's a goooooooooood girl, crazy 'bout Elvis....

... it occurred to me to wonder why haters make me so happy. How it is that I truly DGAF. I wondered about it for a while.

It's a loooooooooong day livin' in Reseda
There's a freeeeeeeeeway runnin' through the yard
And I'm a baaaaaaaad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a baaaaaaaaaaad boy for breakin' her heart

(there is no reasonable definition of cool that doesn't include Tom Petty)

And the answer to my own question was right there. I was going to show up at work around 11, and no one was going to say shit about it. I was in a nice, expensive, luxury car on a beautiful day, shifting gears by hand as a wove around light traffic. I'd had sex with more than one woman the previous weekend, and they all know I do that sort of thing, and they DGAF, either.

And I realized that I wasn't dependent on public good opinion. It didn't effect my life.

Once you accept the fundamental premise, realize that sympathy and compassion is mostly reserved for women and small children, that the only people who will care about your problems are those who are emotionally invested in you, you're free.

And I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm free fallin'

I didn't expect sympathy and compassion for the men behind the stories that a wrote that list based on. I didn't expect sympathy and compassion for me. But that's the key to male happiness. Once you accept that no one will give those things to you, and stop being mad about that, you can realize that you don't need it.

No one will defend your rights, which means you don't really have any. If people don't need you, or want you, or have investment in you (emotionally or literally), they will not defend you. Not ever. The GirlWritesWhats and TyphonBlues and Innocence Projects of this world are not common enough to count, and they never will be.

Instead, you improve your life by acquiring privilege. Jobs that don't care when you show up, because you are a rare individual who makes the magic happen. Girls who don't care who else you fuck, because they'd rather have part of your attention than all of someone else's.

It doesn't matter if default treatment for men is crap... you can get yourself some special treatment. It doesn't matter if haters hate... you can get people who care about you and have your back.

You will never be treated well just because you are a human, or just because you are a man. Stop breaking your own heart over things that will never be yours. You do not need them.

Go get treated well for who YOU are and what YOU do.

I wanna gliiiiiiide down over Mulholland
I wanna wriiiiiite her name in the sky
I wanna freeeeeeeeeee fall out into nothin'
Gonna leeeeeeeeave this world for awhile...

And I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm free fallin'