TLDR: Sometimes you're doing everything right, but a couple of key shortfalls are holding you back. My shortfalls were moving too fast and male-pattern Resting Bitch Face. Correcting both produced a significant improvement for me. (Note: this story doesn't end in me kissing or fucking anyone, so manage your expectations accordingly)

Background: I'm an early 20s software guy in NYC. Athletic, 6'2", 190 lbs, dress well, decent faced. Basically doing things by the book, TRP-wise.

 

When I walk around the city, I see plenty of girls. Before today, though, most would react to incidental eye contact with scowls, moving away, basically every non-verbal signal they knew to say "ew, creep". I was wondering what I was doing wrong. Do I smell bad? Do I really look like a creep? I'd been told that I looked too "intense" when I wasn't smiling, but I never really thought anything of it, or went out of my way to look more friendly. And I know that I walk pretty fast, but I'm in NYC so I figured walking slow would make me look weird.

 

But yesterday, I got new shoes. And today, I wore them to work, and then got off work early for a doctor's appointment. Since the shoes were expensive, and I'm still in that phase where I'm terrified of scuffing them, I walked differently than usual. Instead of the New Yorker hustle, I was walking in a slower, more purposeful way. Completely unhurried. And since I was off work early, I was relaxed and just enjoying myself. I noticed myself smiling unconsciously. And when I got to my doctor's appointment, the nurse had her hands on me way more than was necessary, asking me how often I worked out, etc. Lots of "accidental" boob contact. Female doctor was also very flirty. I went to a store afterwards, the cashier girl immediately started flirting, asking me to help her remember what actor she thought I looked like. She and her friend were giggling like schoolgirls. I don't think I've ever been flirted with so brazenly before in my day-to-day life before. So no, I didn't get any of their numbers. But I found the reaction to a few simple changes in my demeanor surprising.

Lessons Learned:

  1. Control your walk. A deliberate, purposeful gait indicates power. Rushing indicates a lack of control over time. Powerful men don't rush in their day-to-day lives, because they have control over time. Power attracts women.

  2. Figure out what resting facial expression works for you and find a way to maintain it. Some guys can pull off the brooding loner; I cannot. Smiling works for me, so I need to be more conscious of my emotional state so that smiling comes more naturally. Adjust this based on what works for you and fire for effect.

  3. Self awareness and constant incremental improvement yield dividends.