GENUINELY CURIOUS
"The number one thing is curiosity and basic knowledge. If you have those two things; you can talk to anybody about anything." - Aba
Listening to Aba on No Jumper and this point was made around the 43 minute mark. It sums up concisely what the key to Charisma is.
Aba then drops another gem;
"You can have a conversation with literally anybody; provided you actually care about what they're about." - Aba
For example I'm very similar to Aba. I'm genuinely curious about people. So when I take my eldest out, I highlight the importance of being genuinely curious. About people that you come across. I'll talk to cleaners. Talk to the servers and service staff(great way to maintain/hone flirting skills too). She'll often question why. To which my response is always; "you can always learn from someone new. Even if it's just their name."
I've made it a long standing habit to memorise someone's name upon meeting them. So when I take my youngest child to her friend's birthday parties, I'm on a first name basis with most of the parents. Even if I've only met them once. I'll introduce them to one another. Or re-acquaint us all together. A simple skill but socially fundamental.
Think about your own life. With someone you barely know. Like a friend of a friend. Or your usual cashier or barista. After their names; what else do you know? Relationships are built on rapport. That familiarity builds rapport. Being genuinely curious only helps reinforce it. It's also a master hack for Networking.
So once you've mastered the skill of Charisma; it'll open a lot of doors. Additionally another hack once you're good at memorising names is to re-introduce yourself, when using someone's name; and give context.
e.g. "Hi Freddy, Rip, Lionel's dad. How've you been?"
Simple and frames the conversation towards familiarity. Towards rapport. It's such a subtle skill, yet can be pivotal. In how an interaction, conversation and possibly a relationship, is framed. As you don't get a second chance at a first impression. So start honing that skill. It's easy to start with a name. Then continue to master being genuinely curious. Not just with the people you're interested in; but to also find the interesting in people.
Godspeed and good luck!
[–]TheMailmanic 70 points71 points72 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChefBoyarlifts 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]comcain 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aamour1 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 26 points27 points28 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]hustle_hard99 22 points23 points24 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMailmanic 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LandscapeClear1630 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]LandscapeClear1630 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LandscapeClear1630 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Schhwing 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepdrops 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SFSDthrowaway -2 points-1 points0 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Schhwing 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Schhwing 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KingCrow27 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sepehrhhhh 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NolanWillson 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]NolanWillson 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PunkOverLord 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FeministSlutWalker 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepdrops 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrAnderzon 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aggravating_Ad_3652 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link