Summary: Why do break ups hurt the ego so much compared to getting rejected for sex? In part it comes down to the fact that you are a drug addict, and it also comes down to the fact that a girl has rejected what you have to offer: your commitment. I also discuss how to utilize post LTR grief

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After losing an LTR, whether it was them or you who initiated the break up, you have a lot to do. You've been out of the game, and now you have to get started up again.

As someone who processes almost everything through the lense of evolution and benefits to reproduction / survival, grief does not seem immediately beneficial.

But grief is a lot like adrenaline in an anxiety inducing situation. You either get amped off the adrenaline and use it to go fucking ham or you let it overwhelm you and you piss your pants. Post LTR, you can channel that feeling into either apathy and sadness or an IDGAF attitude. THAT is what can make grief beneficial. you can use it instead to lower your cortisol dramatically, and in turn that will raise your testosterone.

Why does the end of an LTR hurt?

You have lost a strong, positive mental stimulus.

If she has discarded the relationship, she has rejected the most valuable thing you have to offer. Think of an attractive girl offering a guy who she thought was not too far above her in SMV NSA sex. If he refuses, her hamster is going to go into fucking overdrive and it will bother her like crazy. As a girl, she'll enjoy it somewhat. In the reverse situation as a man, you are not going to enjoy it.

NOT ONLY THAT, but your commitment is a recurrent compounding gift. while what a girl has to offer, sex, is for a limited period of time and only is an instance, your commitment exists every second you are offering it. Additionally, longer commitment brings her more value because the longer you've been together, the more comfortable she feels. She feels nice and stable. Your gift is much more valuable than her pussy.

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Breaking up is no fun. In the end, you're getting over a drug addiction and sometimes Oneitis. And when you did not initiate it, you get the ego blow of the most valuable thing you can offer to a woman, in her eyes, being tossed away. Don't let that shit shake you. As long as you weren't a beta, she at least thought you were the shit for some period of time. I know it's difficult, but you must also attempt to decouple your value as a man from her desire for you.