Vulnerability

RedPillJohnny · 2014-11-24T23:08:26+00:00

I work with a group of liberal semi-left wing women who work in the caring profession, they are not high society but they are certainly educated and definitely (over)exposed to modern feminist thought. So anyway, I witnessed a young man (early 20s) who was obviously a beta blue pill type, talking to one of the more important lady guests at a big dinner event for this group, and during his conversation with her he started weeping. He was a big fan of hers and was obviously overwhelmed with meeting her and with talking to her which in turn brought out the water works.

Now surrounded by all of these liberal left wing women who are in the caring professions, you would think that since this fellow was adhering to the blue pill paradigm that he would gain sympathy from these women for displaying his beta traits so openly...you would think so but NO. He was "being himself", "expressing himself", and displaying emotion and vulnerability...isn't this what the ladies tell us they want!

Well the next day I listened and watched as the very same caring liberal minded women mocked him behind his back, and with impunity, for his display of weakness, emotion and vulnerability. Not one woman commented on how dedicated he was to the cause or how brave he was for showing his emotions, they all had a lowered opinion of him for it ...and in fact this "display" completely overshadowed everything else that he contributed over the course of the event and it was all that anyone can remember about him now!

Now this doesn't surprise me one bit but to witness the behind your back male beta shaming first hand was a real treat and a story I can relate to other up and coming men in the future.

A man's display of vulnerability will ruin everyone's perception of him and no one will ever look at him the same again. Never break frame.

NeopolitanAfterglow · 2014-11-24T18:49:38+00:00

I was raised in a household with a single mother and no sisters. I was fed the "women want a sensitive man; women in bikinis are exploited" nonsense. I was taught that men who seduce women are chauvinist pigs. I had no wise influence or personal experience to counter this. While deep down I always knew it was nonsense, the repetitive programming was overwhelming.

It's taken me a good 10 years away from home to deprogram myself, and I'm still not all the way there. I always thought to myself, if I was a woman, would I be attracted to the kind of guy my mom is teaching me to be? Hell no! But intellectually knowing something is easy. Having that knowledge soak into your very bones takes a LOOOOOONG time.

needathrowawayplease · 2014-11-24T17:34:33+00:00

I fully expect someone in these comments to begin the anti-Mark Manson rhetoric, so I'll pre-empt it by explaining that the way he uses vulnerability is different than the typical English usage.

His "vulnerability" is about putting yourself in situations where a person would typically be "vulnerable" to attack or pain. This allows one to demonstrate that they are in fact strong and can handle being smacked in the face without crumpling. In effect, putting yourself in situations where you're going to be given shit tests, so you can pass them and show true strength.

Asking a girl out is making yourself vulnerable (you could be rejected).
Going for a kiss is making yourself vulnerable (she could tell you she just wants to be friends).
Falling in love is making yourself vulnerable (she could backstab you, cheat on you, or just fall out of love and leave you).

Manson's vulnerability is about taking risks, exposing your heart to being hurt (because he believes emotional intimacy and love is worth the possibility of being rejected, cheated on, or anything else). A lot of players here eschew emotional intimacy and love because they've been hurt before and there's nothing wrong with that, but it misleads the virgins and people who've never had a relationship on this sub to believe that there really is nothing that a relationship offers that a fuckbuddy doesn't. Spoiler: most guys spinning plates eventually want to settle down with a good girl, even if it's in their 30s, 40s, 50s. And it's not just because they can't get laid anymore. George Clooney didn't need to marry that girl cause he can't get laid anymore.

"Vulnerability" in the Mark Manson sense is not about telling a girl that you have moments of weakness, that you are afraid of your parents dying, or that you're feeling lost at work.

Please don't try to spin his work as something it isn't, just because you're incapable of understanding the nuance.

On the other hand, if you are just speaking out against the actual blue pill advice to tell a girl about your fears, communicate honestly about your insecurities (my favorite is on /r/relationships where they advise guys who are jealous of their girlfriends interactions with other men to tell the girlfriend they feel emasculated and jealous...cause that's gonna make her more attracted), then please continue.

blob6 · 2014-11-24T20:38:49+00:00

The key to attraction is not to impersonate what you find attractive in the opposite sex. We say the same thing about women who get tattoos, get short hair, or take on a very aggressive attitude. They find that attractive so they impersonate it in the hopes that those same men find it attractive as well. WRONG.

I think there is a Yin & Yang associated with dating. The most masculine man will pair best with the most feminine women. Beta men will pair best with more masculine women. If you find something attractive, that doesn't mean that you will attract it by impersonating it as well.

DeputyDelicious · 2014-11-24T18:05:24+00:00

Top Notch Post. I have a blue pill friend that I rarely see now that believes the very idea of the "masks" that the feminine imperative imposes on men is a real deal.

He believes that men see it as wrong to be called feminine and that has to change. He has fully accepted the idea that men and women are equal and that to say "you hit like a girl" is offensive and cruel not to the man that is being told to do better, but to all of womanhood. What he doesn't realize is that it simply is true. Men shouldn't aspire to be as soft as women are. They shouldn't aspire to be as emotional as women are and they should be doing their best to become the giant rock that no water or wind can penetrate or degrade.

He referenced an article talking about how it puts to much stress on a man. Let's face it, we were built to handle that stress and if you can't handle it then you haven't fully come into yourself as a man. That is not to say that men can't feel overwhelmed sometimes, but they should be pushing to exceed their previous limits always or die trying.(bruce lee) That's why our bodies make lots of testosterone naturally. The hormone associated with strong leadership qualities.

nondvcor · 2014-11-24T19:02:16+00:00

This is one of the worst beliefs of the "Beta Game", the idea that "I'm not like the other guys, I'm not afraid to cry or show my emotions" will get them pussy, it's basically shooting yourself in the foot. The most possible outcome of this approach is becoming an emotional tampon. Someone that is going to cry together with the girl when shit goes wrong with another man.

When the beta male shows himself as emotionally vulnerable, he's also showing he has no frame, that he won't be able to handle his shit and most importantly, the shit woman will throw at him. He's skipping shit tests by making clear he will fail them.

Baylien2 · 2014-11-24T21:15:15+00:00

Like a crack fiend, women are slaves to their own emotions. It's a handicap, so they need someone to guide them who is secure and level, someone masculine.

Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-11-24T19:34:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GhostOfAladdin · 2014-11-24T20:13:37+00:00

Part of RP is how a person handles vulnerability. We're all vulnerable to something. Does the person hide from the source of vulnerability?

RP is about embracing the vulnerability and going full steam agead in a sensible way.

socio_j · 2014-11-24T23:35:50+00:00

Is it wrong to give plates/LTR emotional displays of care/love? I'm curious as I typically tend to quiet affectionate and need to know if I need to change this aspect. I dont talk about my personal problems to girls who I have a interest in dating.

Peow_peow · 2014-11-26T03:04:46+00:00

You are misunderstanding vulnerability and thinking of it from a female sense.

Being a vulnerable female is showing your emotions and showing weakness to your lover or partner. Putting your emotions on the line.

Male vulnerbility is about being honest and true to yourself no matter the consequence. You dont like what your female colleauge is saying? Then you tell her to her face regardless of the fact she may be angry at you or scoff in your face.

The difference is that a vulnerable man knows not everyone is going to like him, he is not a nice guy and is willing to cut ties with some people.

The guy in your example is not vulnerable, he was a nice guy doing what he thought he should do to fit in.

The_Americano · 2014-11-26T05:02:23+00:00

A leader knows when to follow...

ImpalaPUA · 2014-11-24T22:58:16+00:00

When most men hear the word “vulnerability,” their immediate reaction is to associate it with weakness. In general, men are raised to withhold their emotions, to not show weakness, and to ignore any hint of introspection. I want you to think of vulnerability in a more broad way. Not just emotional vulnerability, but physical vulnerability, social vulnerability.

For instance, making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling a woman that you like her and want to date her. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way. You’re making yourself vulnerable when you do them.

In this way, vulnerability represents a form of power, a deep and subtle form of power. A man who’s able to make himself vulnerable is saying to the world, “I don’t care what you think of me; this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else.” He’s saying he’s not needy and that he’s high status.

pissoutofmyass · 2014-11-26T01:24:03+00:00

Its part of feminism being one giant shit test. The men who actually listen to feminism and reveal their weaknesses have failed and are filtered out by feminist women as betas.

Aughin · 2014-11-28T10:08:33+00:00

Id like to add that IF you feel the need to supress emotions you have already lost the game. A man SHOULDNT feel much emotion towards modern common situations.

Anything that wasn't felt during our 300k+ years as per modern men isn't valid emotions to attract women.

foldpak111 · 2014-11-25T00:59:51+00:00

Think Ryan Gosling in Drive. Be more like that.

Title	Vulnerability
Author	Rollo-Tomassi
Upvotes	118
Comments	64
Date	November 24, 2014 5:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2na0bh/vulnerability/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/vulnerability.25347 https://theredarchive.com/post/25347

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