What exactly is wrong with being a beta provider?

calciu · 2014-10-14T20:58:01+00:00

Just read /r/deadbedrooms and you'll figure it out by yourself.

HAMMURABl · 2014-10-14T20:17:35+00:00

nothing wrong with paying and providing for a chick that pities your sexual advances while she happily blows other men. most guys would just rather be the type who gets his dick sucked for free.

AreYouAware_ · 2014-10-14T19:46:47+00:00

Because by definition he is not getting laid beyond highly infrequent duty sex. She meanwhile, will be approached by and submit to other men. She may cuckold him, conceive a child by another man, and fool or coerce her beta into raising and/or providing for an illegitimate child.

A better question is "What isn't wrong with being beta bux?"

1independentmale · 2014-10-14T21:23:24+00:00

Beta providers don't sign pre-nups and they are usually miserable in their marriages. Their wives own them because they're irrationally devoted to her, put her on a pedestal and hand over all of their power.

Beta providers are usually treated like children with the wife playing the role of mommy. She'll give him plenty of chores and rules and nonsense to abide by and he'll do it because he wants her to be happy. He won't get laid for long because no woman is attracted to a man she can wrap around her little finger and force his compliance by simply raising her eyebrow.

It's completely emasculating and a toxic environment for everyone involved. If you put a lion in a cage and beat it's natural instincts out of it over a period of many years, you're going to wind up with a pathetic, miserable excuse for an animal that impresses nobody. Certainly not the proud king of the jungle that you were attracted to in the first place.

redditor1255 · 2014-10-14T20:46:24+00:00

The beta marriage is built on the Disney concept of love. The betrayal is not that she has had prior sexual arrangements, but that she doesn't actually love her beta provider. She only settled for him.

Without love, she is likely to seek sex outside the marriage without his knowledge, to carry another man's child, or to divorce him to claim his assets. She might even divorce him and take his children.

Being beta bucks is a really, really bad deal.

LaidBackStrat · 2014-10-14T21:14:09+00:00

The first thing we have to mention is that TRP is amoral. There aren't any standard "rights" or "wrongs", hell, TRP advocates for three completely different sexual strategies (LTRs, plating and MGTOW) and all of them are fine. What we can mention, and do, is what makes someone's life better from a happiness standpoint. People who have lots of sex tend to be happier than people who don't, for example, and thus PUA theory is seen as "right", while beta orbiting is seen as "wrong". That's only an example, but that's the gist of it. Now onto the actual answer:

The differences between Alphas and Betas are way more than simply "one is a hunk who gets girls because he can, while the other attracts them with his money". The world doesn't work like that.

From a hooking up stand point - betas in general don't have casual sex, aside from girls with really low SMV that they fuck as a desperation lay. They don't have the charisma or character necessary to become a person with recognizable high value, and thus, girls don't recognize it, despite of any actual value being there or not. Alphas are sexually attractive, and Betas aren't.

That makes it so that girls who are "beta provided" don't "give out" sex on a regular or even common basis. Sex will be rare, begged for and will have an increasing price, so instead of being a fun act between two willing people, it will be something that one of the parts begs for weeks on end to happen, and the other "allows it to happen" so that the Beta can breathe again for the following weeks. What this results in is passion-less, unfun, unmotivated and bad quality sex, that ends when the guy cums cause the girl is only waiting for him to finish. So both parts end up sexually frustrated (if the girl doesn't cheat on him) and the relationship has a power dynamic based on sex. And because of it, the women is the one completely dominating the relationship, which ends up with her losing respect for him (because culturally, men are supposed to lead sexually) and fucks up the relationship on many different levels.

But let's go deeper than that.

From a socialization stand point, Alphas lead, and Betas follow. What this means is that Betas can't really be part of a real brotherhood with Alphas, and vice versa, as they won't be on equal footing. I'm an Alpha with pretty nerdy interests, for one, and people that share my interests are usually Betas. This means that, aside from maybe small exchanges of opinion, even things like an honest discussion about the state of our hobbie or the community it has will end up with him nodding away at all I say and merely expanding on it at most, even if he disagrees completely. And in the same way, a Beta wouldn't fit in with a group of Alphas because while they're all busy doing things they want to (be it as a group or not), he'll be following them around. If a Beta goes with a group of Alphas to a club, he'll eventually either stay behind while everyone else already has a hook up and/or ride home, or drag one of his closest friends from the group out of the fun as well.

People who respect themselves and in groups with people who respect each other, generally don't have the greatest interactions with people spend more time pitying themselves for not being able to do what they want to than trying to do what they want to do.

This can be seen occasionally in girls too, though they use it to protect themselves - if you want to get with the HB9 with the amazing ass, you sometimes have to get through their fat friends. And Betas get stuck at the door, while Alphas ignore the door (thus passing that particular shit test) and get with the girl they want.

And yeah, maybe a Beta, low SMV, bland girl will have the happiest fucking relationship with a Beta provider. They're equals, after all, it only makes sense if that's the case.

But the same way a RedPiller at his peak (Alpha state, super fit, peak SMV, good attention to fashion, chubby wallet and stable job) will have a bad time in a relationship with the Beta girl I mentioned, the Alpha girl and the Beta male as a couple fail. You could argue that the Alpha male gets the pussy, willingness to please and stability that comes with dating that kind of Beta girl, and that she gets a higher social value for associating with him and the economic stability to do what she wants, but there still isn't a spark.

thenarrrowpath · 2014-10-14T21:38:01+00:00

I think you forgetting about the alpha fux part. I mean yea, you're getting laid, congratulations! But in the interim your woman is running around town from one pogo stick to the other on your dime. Really you should ask yourself, "What's wrong with legally binding yourself to a hooker that has sex with others for free yet expects you to pay?"

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-10-14T23:33:52+00:00

The sex that a beta receives will be transactional in nature and not validational.

gideonrakthor · 2014-10-14T20:57:15+00:00

Alpha and Beta, TRP, etc is not simply about sex like you think my friend.

You have a long ways to go if that's how you see successful relationships. There are so many things that I could point out in your post that reveal illogical thinking about trp that all I can tell you to do is to read all of the sidebar material(which will take days), and then come back.

If you are the guy in the scenario you described, why would you marry her in the first place if all you wanted was sex? Get a prostitute/escort. Less expensive.

leodoestheopposite · 2014-10-14T23:52:24+00:00

Nothing wrong if that's what you like.

This is what I do not like about being a beta provider:

you receive puppy love and not lust from females
overtly or covertly they will lust over Alpha Fucks
sooner or later they will miss having a taste of the Alpha Fucks, so they will either cheat with the Alpha, or leave the Beat for the Alpha; not sure which one is worse.

Beta providers can have a life filled with long term relationships that most likely will end in a sour note thanks to hypergamy and the lure of the Alpha Fucks.

That's all.

anonlymouse · 2014-10-15T01:03:45+00:00

As long as you're getting laid because of it?

That's the thing, you usually aren't.

smart enough to sign a pre-nup

Pre-nups are useless.

[deleted] · 2014-10-15T04:34:29+00:00

As long as you're getting laid because of it?

Because you aren't getting laid. Your wallet is. As soon as she can safely swing to another branch, expect divorce rape.

Oh, and when you kiss her, can you taste Chad Thundercocks cum?

Not everyone is a 6'2 hunk with blonde hair and blue eyes.

No, but if you think being an alpha is limited to that oddly specific Aryan demographic, then not only do you not understand anything going on in here, but you have a severe and telling inferiority complex that you need to address.

So what's wrong if a short Asian guy with a professional degree marries a white woman who is primarily interested in his 6 figure salary?

Read that again and think about it.

As long as he's getting laid by her and was smart enough to sign a pre-nup, it seems like a win-win.

He gets just enough bland duty sex to have the "honour" of supporting a woman who is, in all likelihood, cheating on him and who will leave him the second a more secure option becomes available.

And your prenuptial agreement doesn't mean fuckall if some bullshit court decides that it was signed under duress or coercion due to a massive power differential.

Sounds like a great deal to me.

ShagggyDog · 2014-10-14T21:00:47+00:00

Let's just call that a very financially unoptimized way of getting laid (There are free and way cheaper options). And I can't call a "win" for anyone whose goal in life is getting laid. So no, it's not win-win.

IVIaskerade · 2014-10-14T22:33:19+00:00

Just for the record, I don't agree with people downvoting this. This was a legitimate question from a newer poster who might not've been able to see why being the Beta Bucks in a relationship is quite as bad as we make out. That doesn't mean we should downvote him.

We should be downvoting the lazy, low-effort posts and new idiots who think they know everything after 2 days and no sidebar. Not guys like Emotionalgoldmine, who might have an honest question.

truchisoft · 2014-10-14T23:09:48+00:00

Why are we even answering this troll?

Can anyone remove this crap?

RedPillSafe · 2014-10-14T20:35:16+00:00

Yeah, better be sure that if you have kids they have your DNA in them.

But if she sees you as a "good catch" and you aren't bending over backwards towards her then being short and asian doesn't make you beta automatically.

Red Pill is not about the superficial, you might be Alpha in her eyes.

It all depends on how you respond to shit tests. If you do not collapse under attack she will be attracted to you.

Red Pill Married Men do well because they hold frame.

[deleted] · 2014-10-15T04:06:05+00:00

Women need to feel excitement in order to be attracted to a man. If you can't cultivate any alpha traits, then you are simply living in the wrong time. I feel like I'm living in the wrong time as well. I'll be honest: being 5'7'' and religious (no pre-marital sex) kinda makes me want to blow my brains out most days (no hyperbole here). I mean, fuck- even having a girlfriend is mostly a pain in the ass. The fact that I gotta go through the courtship process all the way up to marriage in order to have sex is a serious disadvantage in today's culture.

slcjosh · 2014-10-15T06:36:58+00:00

Everything. The lack of respect and sexual intimacy is usually enough to wear most men down unless you are the ultimate pussy.

niceguy_gone_cad · 2014-10-15T06:38:05+00:00

Nothing, as long as you don't mind that your woman considers you a walking ATM - maid - babysitter that she has to fuck sometimes.

[deleted] · 2014-10-15T18:53:10+00:00

per definition "beta" means you're being used.

being a provider is one thing and being beta is another. you can still be a man and provide for your woman and children - that doesn't make you beta.

the majority of men are providers, in fact it's part of our nature.

but if you think being a pushover, being controlled and bending over to please someone who is using you with out much in return is healthy.. well it's not.

and that's on an physical level. a beta finds himself in a parasitic relationships where his resources are being drained and him not getting much for it, and there are many reasons why parasitic relationships are bad - not to be confused with symbiotic relationships ala. gut bacteria and such. a tick sucking on your blood is taking away your blood and giving you diseases. being beta doesn't mean you'd be getting laid. in fact it means that once you sign the documents, you won't be. -> parasitic relationship.

take my metaphor for what it is.

as to to your last statement, again, you're describing a provider situation, a smart attempt at that with a prenup. on its own, it does not convey anything beta behavior.

KilluaKanmuru · 2014-10-14T19:43:45+00:00

Well, being alpha can get you pussy even if you're homeless. That's real power. Hell, why be a beta-provider if you just want pussy anyway? Hire a prostitute brah.

ayn-ahuasca · 2014-10-14T23:58:30+00:00

Any entry-level lawyer can get a prenup thrown out in court. It's akin to toilet paper. Why would you put your future on the line over a glorified piece of toilet paper?

23490865243879526487 · 2014-10-15T00:25:56+00:00

As long as he's getting laid by her and was smart enough to sign a pre-nup, it seems like a win-win.

What do you win exactly? A chance to have your prenup thrown out the window by an activist judge? If you know that all she wants is your money why would you hand her a potentially winning lottery ticket? If a woman really loves you and you reciprocate she won't need a piece of paper to feel secure in your relationship. If she wants your money she won't marry you with a prenup unless she knows that it is unenforceable or she is planning to divorce rape you through child support.

teeelo · 2014-10-15T03:49:13+00:00

What exactly is wrong with /r/asktrp

OR

/r/purplepilldebate

????

Lazy hamster.

kanaduhisfruityeh · 2014-10-15T18:10:22+00:00

Nothing per se, it is just that the costs are very high compared to what you get in return in wealthy nations. Basically you tend to get older women looking for beta providers after they've 'had their fun' and demanding very large sums of money. Now if you were a beta provider to a poor young virginal village girl in a remote 3rd world village, your money might go further.

If you do marry the woman who is only after your salary you should make sure that you have a very strong prenup and that she's always dependent on your money. Make sure she doesn't have control over any finances.

Aiadon · 2014-10-14T19:51:28+00:00

As long as her descendants will also be his, he has nothing to worry about.

Title	What exactly is wrong with being a beta provider?
Author	emotionalgoldmine
Upvotes	0
Comments	31
Date	October 14, 2014 7:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2j8sxt/what_exactly_is_wrong_with_being_a_beta_provider/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-exactly-is-wrong-with-being-a-beta-provider.22956 https://theredarchive.com/post/22956

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