How they all get started. | WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

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First, it isn't MY hypothesis. I'm just sharing what I have heard. I didn't invent the term or do the research. (Considering that research was an extensive study of the sexuality of common prairie voles, I'm glad I wasn't included in that study group.)

I guess what it all boils down to with the porn stars is if you actually believe you can turn a whore into a house wife. I have heard of former stars like Asia Carrera leave the business, become a mom and live a normal life. I'm not saying it isn't possible, I'll just say it's rare. And given that Asia is of an ethnicity that tends to focus of family and traditions, she was probably better prepared to have her wild hair surgically removed.

The biggest issue with promiscuous humans (men and women) and wondering if they have changed their ways is how would anyone know? We've all seen how easily humans cheat and betray. With all due respect, you and I could point to individuals who SEEM to have made the change. But how would we know, and if you were a betting man would you be willing to put your next paycheck on it? I wouldn't, but anything IS possible.

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The problem is correlation and causation being difficult or impossible to separate. I'm not real keen on the "pair bonding" hypothesis for that reason. If you look at sluts and say they can't stay loyal because their slutty behavior has damaged them, how do you know it's not just because they are sluts? Maybe they would never have been able to settle down even if you had two enunuch bodyguards with her at all times to ensure she never got into any funny business before marriage. On the flip side, saying women with few partners, or none, are more loyal and cheat less, might also just be because they are not wired to be as adventurous or horny, and might have been a super-loyal wife in a past life where she had to prostitute herself out for several years to survive. I think both nature and nurture play a roll, but the pair-bonding thing is mostly just looking at obvious statistics and inventing a complicated explanation for them.

[–]DoTheSnoopyDance 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[DIVORCE RISK]

“Contrary to conventional wisdom, when it comes to sex, less experience is better, at least for the marriage,” said W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist

.

women with zero or one previous sex partners before marriage were also least likely to divorce, while those with 10 or more were most likely. These divorce-proof brides are an exclusive crew: By the 2010s, he writes, just 5 percent of new brides were virgins. And just 6 percent of their marriages dissolved within five years, compared with 20 percent for most people.

Khazan, O. (2018, October 22). Fewer Sex Partners Means a Happier Marriage. The Atlantic. Retrieved July 7, 2020, from https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

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using data from the three most recent waves of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) collected in 2002, 2006-2010, and 2011-2013. For women marrying since the start of the new millennium: Women with 10 or more partners were the most likely to divorce

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The highest five-year divorce rates of all are associated with marrying in the 2000s and having ten or more premarital sex partners: 33 percent. Perhaps it is not unexpected that having many partners increases the odds of divorce.

Wolfinger, N. H., PhD. (2016, June 6). Counterintuitive Trends in the Link Between Premarital Sex and Marital Stability. Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved August 24, 2020, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

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[T]here was a correlation between female pre-marital promiscuity and higher rates of divorce. The research, conducted by Jay Teachman, found that women with 16 or more sexual partners prior to marriage had an 80% rate of subsequent divorce.

Wikipedia contributors. (2020, June 20). Female promiscuity. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 12:06, July 27, 2020, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Female_promiscuity&oldid=963578370

Teachman, J. (2003). Premarital sex, premarital cohabitation and the risk of subsequent marital dissolution among women. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(2), 444–455. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x

[INFIDELITY RATES]

A truism in psychology is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. This is no less true in the realm of sexual behavior. Indeed, one of the strongest predictors of marital infidelity is one’s number of prior sex partners (Buss, 2000). Deception about past sexual promiscuity would have inflicted greater costs, on average, on men than on women

Haselton, M. G., Buss, D. M., Oubaid, V., & Angleitner, A. (2005). Sex, Lies, and Strategic Interference: The Psychology of Deception Between the Sexes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(1), 3–23. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271303

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Contrary to the myth, partners who’ve had many partners have a harder, not easier, time remaining monogamous. They are significantly more at risk of straying than those with little or no prior sexual experience.

Staik, A., PhD. (2019, March 28). 10 Predictors of Infidelity and Gender Differences: Why Do Partners Cheat? Retrieved July 15, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2014/08/a-look-at-infidelity-why-do-partners-cheat/

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[A]pproximately half of women in the top quintiles of sociosexuality [def. willingness to engage in sexual activity outside of a committed relationship] had been sexually unfaithful to a steady partner; this was more than a tenfold increase over the corresponding rate for people in the bottom quintiles.

Bailey, J. M., Kirk, K. M., Zhu, G., Dunne, M. P., & Martin, N. G. (2000). Do individual differences in sociosexuality represent genetic or environmentally contingent strategies? Evidence from the Australian twin registry. Journal of personality and social psychology, 78(3), 537–545. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.78.3.537

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Individuals exhibiting sexually permissive attitudes and those who have had a high number of past sexual relationships are more likely to engage in infidelity (Feldman & Cauffman, 1999). In a study of supposedly exclusive dating couples, it was found that individuals exhibiting an ‘unrestricted’ sociosexual orientation (SO) were significantly more likely to pursue extra-pair involvement (Seal, Agostinelli, & Hannett, 1994). Individuals are said to be unrestricted if they score high on the Sociosexual Orientation Index (SOI). Items on this scale include a question tapping whether the respondent feels that love is a prerequisite for sexual relations with a partner, the number of ‘one-night stands’ a respondent has had, and how many partners he or she hopes to have in the next year (Simpson & Gangestad, 1991).

Barta, W. D., & Kiene, S. M. (2005). Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples: The roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(3), 339-360. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407505052440

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In illustration of this, the odds ratio of 1.13 for lifetime sexual partners obtained with the face-to-face mode of interview indicates that the probability of infidelity increased by 13% for every additional lifetime sexual partner

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Regarding the correlates of infidelity, results indicated that on the basis of both methods of assessment, the probability of sexual infidelity increased with higher number of lifetime sexual partners

Whisman, M. A., & Snyder, D. K. (2007). Sexual infidelity in a national survey of American women: Differences in prevalence and correlates as a function of method of assessment. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(2), 147–154. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.21.2.147

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Our findings demonstrate that infidelity and number of sexual partners are both under moderate genetic influence (41% and 38% heritable, respectively) and the genetic correlation between these two traits is strong (47%). The resulting genetic correlation between the two traits was .47, so nearly half the genes impacting on infidelity also affect number of sexual partners. The correlation of the unique environment between the two variables was .48.

Cherkas, L. F., Oelsner, E. C., Mak, Y. T., Valdes, A., & Spector, T. D. (2004). Genetic influences on female infidelity and number of sexual partners in humans: a linkage and association study of the role of the vasopressin receptor gene (AVPR1A). Twin research : the official journal of the International Society for Twin Studies, 7(6), 649–658. https://doi.org/10.1375/1369052042663922

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The high correlation for females (r = .79) between reported numbers of sex partners and EPC partners [extra-pair copulation partners def. sexual partners other than primary partner while in a monogamous relationship] may bear on questions of both paternity and abandonment in the face of infidelity.

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[P]romiscuity is in fact a good predictor of infidelity. Indeed, promiscuity among females accounted for almost twice as much variance in infidelity (r² = .45) as it did for males (r² = .25).

Hughes, S. M. , & Gallup, G. G. (2003). Sex differences in morphological predictors of sexual behavior: Shoulder to hip and waist to hip ratios. Evolution and Human Behavior, 24(3), 173–178. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1090-5138(02)00149-6

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Sexual promiscuity was significantly positively correlated with emotional promiscuity [r(356) = .261, p < .001], as well with sexual infidelity [r(323) = .595, p < .001] and emotional infidelity [r(323) = .676, p < .001], indicating that sexually promiscuous participants also tend to be emotionally promiscuous, and sexually and emotionally unfaithful. In terms of the sexual domain, results showed that there is also a positive correlation between sexual promiscuity and sexual infidelity, stating that individuals that tend to be more sexually promiscuous also tend to be more sexually unfaithful.

Pinto, R., & Arantes, J. (2017). The Relationship between Sexual and Emotional Promiscuity and Infidelity. ATHENS JOURNAL OF SOCIAL SCIENCES, 4(4), 385–398. https://doi.org/10.30958/ajss.4-4-3

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Women’s number of pre-marital partners: percent [of wives] who cheated once married

2: 10.4%

3: 14.9%

4: 17.7%

5: 21.6%

6-10: 26.0%

11-20: 36.7%

21+: 46.8%

NORC General Social Survey. (2011, October 02). Female Infidelity Based on Number of Premarital Partners — Statistic Brain. Retrieved July 5, 2015, from http://www.statisticbrain.com/percent-of-female-infidelity-based-on-number-of-premarital-partners/

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For people in this survey who reported four or fewer lifetime sexual partners, the rate of infidelity in the current marriage dropped to 11%, while for those who had five or more sexual partners the number was nearly double

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[I]nfidelity is also often the fruit of a lifelong approach to mating that involves seeking and practicing short-term mating encounters that encourage sexual variety at all stages and into marriage.

McQuivey, J. L., PhD. (2019, October 14). The Road to Infidelity Passes Through Multiple Sexual Partners. Retrieved July 16, 2020, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners-

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Dude for real, that shit is so nasty.

Years ago I was at a bachelor party and they hired two strippers. Eventually one of the strippers started offering blowjobs for money in one of the bathrooms. These guys were just waiting around for their turn, on after the other. This stripper probably blew 20 some guys that night all in a row, only taking a break to have a mixed drink every once in a while.

One guy said to me "oh did you get your turn yet?!" And I'm just like "no, I don't want one" and he looked at me like I had the problem.

I don't hangout with any of these people anymore, that night it really clicked that this particular group of friends was nasty and toxic as fuck.(all drug addicts that constantly cheated on their partners and were in abusive relationships)

If I ever get married, there will be no alcohol or strippers at my bachelor party. We're going to a rage room.

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[–]ArrowGantOne 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

See I agree with your mindset, and like you, I don't grasp why others aren't grossed out.

I used to deal coke. Got a call from a regular customer one night for a couple of 8 balls. Then about 10AM the next morning he ordered another 8 ball. I rightfully assumed he and his friends were jacked out of their minds. When I showed up with the powder they were all glad to see me. (They were almost out.) One girl kept grabbing on my arm and being touchy. I kept pulling away and giving her looks like "b**** back the f*** off" but she wasn't taking the hints.

It was about that time my customer asked if I wanted to take her in one of the bedrooms and hit it. Long story short, she and a friend were servicing the party and had both sucked and fu**ed every guy there repeatedly. (Probably 8 or 9 dudes.) No condoms and none of them cared. I told my customer I wouldn't stick my di** anywhere he'd had his just to bust his balls. But I couldn't imagine sticking my junk in, and another guy's spunk runs out and down her thigh. It SHOULD be gross to everyone, male or female...but especially women.

Forget the germs and potential STD's. Do you really want your friend's spunk running down YOUR balls while you're having sex?!

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I am 5’6” so I will never be a 10%er and I know this. Add in that my hair is starting to go as well. It may be black pill as fuck but it is the truth

My only chance of getting enough money to circumvent that is a lottery win and I don’t believe in fairy tales. This isn’t a lack of ambition or anything. Just to make up for being that far under 6ft and likely to have to shave off my hair before 40 means I’d probably need 250k plus a year.

I am no way near that and probably never will be. And I am not sure i would want to be. The hours and the stress involved to get there ? And for what - to be considered by women who would literally only be interested due to money. Talk about opening yourself up to get cheated on

No I don’t really want that. Sure the idea is nice. But if it is only 10%er due to money then there is no incentive for that

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Title	How they all get started.
Author	GreyJedi56
Upvotes	306
Comments	94
Date	June 13, 2021 7:33 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/nz3zk0/how_they_all_get_started/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/how-they-all-get-started.782504 https://theredarchive.com/post/782504

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