How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?

AverageToHot · 2020-09-16T01:10:07+00:00

Block him. Work on yourself and self-love. Spend your energy learning FDS principles so you don’t make the same mistake ever again.

h_witko · 2020-09-16T02:02:22+00:00

It's hard because you're stuck with all the 'what ifs'. FDS is all about block and move on. Which I agree with but during that move on, sometimes you need to grieve and acknowledge that your emotions aren't always logical for the situation/relationship you're mourning. Like he could be the worst NVM but if you had an emotional attachment, you may still need to grieve before you celebrate them being out of your life. Or vice versa in my case. The sadness comes after the relief.

First things first, ask yourself why he is still on your mind. For me, it's usually when they have a particular quality they admire, mostly confidence and ability to control/handle social situations with ease. I struggle so watching someone I admire doing that is really something.

Then you work out is it him you miss or just having someone you're interested in and can talk to and get excited about? Usually it's the second one, and then you focus on levelling up and putting less eggs in that basket until he has proven himself a HVM etc etc (see FDS handbook for more). If it's him you miss, why? What was so interesting or different about him? Was it just that he was aloof and that mystique made him more enticing or was there actually something special about him? If so, add that to your list of things you want in a partner and work out a way to look for it early on.

I often find the best way to work through these thoughts is to write them down. It helps to not keep going over it and after you've worked through it logically, distract yourself until the emoticon side dies down, as this often takes longer.

super_thinker_ · 2020-09-16T03:36:28+00:00

These almost-something relationships are so hard to get over. I'm sorry.

Try to retrain your brain to think about something good and productive every time you think about him and remove as many reminders of him/triggers from your daily life as possible.

Also know that rejection is never personal. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed his mind.

You are amazing, and if he can't see your worth, then it's time to stop seeing his.

CuriousBubbleMilkTea · 2020-09-16T12:56:57+00:00

Maybe it's just me, but I found that men who used to do all the chasing, and decided to break things off, generally are the Narcissist that do that to test if we will beg and cry for them to come back? To solidify the fact "yeap, I need to leave her!"

It could also be a mix of their chauvinist pride and ego - like "let me dump her, so I don't get dumped" kinda thing.

I have been in your shoes, and it took a huge amount of determination to move on, to be able to actually move on. If you're still clinging to any unfinished business in your head, then, you better figure it out soon. Or it will keep entangled your brain.

What works for me; - knock him off the pedestal. He was only a potential. He ain't $hit. Stop romanticizing and glorifying his image in your mind.

realizing my true worth. Boy, you dumped meh?? Your lost, I'm a MF queen! Blind men can't see diamond. It's not your fault. You were just with a wrong person.
be with the right emotional support. For me, it's the FDS sisters. Reading the stories from fellow strong queens, the FDS handbook, help to solidify my mind that I am on the right track.

I hope it helps.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-09-16T04:20:17+00:00

Why so much obsession over him?

What are your personal goals? What are you actively working on in your life right now? Getting into motion on your own goals will occupy your mind and time and boost your self-esteem. Spend the time on yourself.

Remarkable-Culture-8 · 2020-09-16T04:24:58+00:00

He broke up with you so experienced loss which can be harder than if you broke up with him. It can also be very confusing to mentally process as a lot of the time there were conflicting things said and misleading. Plus to top it all off you have been isolated. Don’t assume you are still hung up on him romantically. I don’t think you are. Even if you miss him it is most likely not related to him and more just companionship / something familiar / affection / attention. Also Life is just weird right now. For me, anything new right now is scary.

basicbagels · 2020-09-17T18:59:14+00:00

Please work on self love and self esteem. See yourself as the prize. You can do it 💗

Title	How to move on from someone you didn’t even date?
Author	Remarkable-Culture-8
Upvotes	22
Comments	37
Date	September 15, 2020 6:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/itex1r/how_to_move_on_from_someone_you_didnt_even_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-to-move-on-from-someone-you-didnt-even-date.1068463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068463

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