Keeping home safe from ex

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-10-19T19:15:03+00:00

I think this goes beyond the expertise of r/AskFDS. If you are afraid of a violent ex you need to call a women's shelter and ask for advice, do some serious googling, and look at relevant subs that give advice to women dealing with this. Good luck.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-10-19T19:11:40+00:00

Honestly I try to avoid living on the ground floor but if you do I’d say install motion activated alarms or cameras near any doors and windows, also lights outside that turn on automatically with motion are good. Be careful of doors with a window the size where someone could punch through and unlock it. Try to install doors with the window higher up.

If you have any neighbors you are trusting with let them know you have concerns and ask them to keep an eye out. Usually older people understand this and will have your back.

I also do not tell anyone I live alone. You could consider getting a dog. Another tip I’ve heard is always say “bye, I’ll be back soon!” when you leave the house and anyone watching you will think someone is home and expecting you back and possibly be deterred.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-19T19:30:32+00:00

You can also put in a 9-in long strike plate, a good quality deadbolt and extra long reinforced screws, usually 3-inches, that go through the door jamb into the 2x4 framing. This makes your door much more difficult to knock in.

Check that you have quality window locks, if you don't ask the landlord to install some or buy some and do it yourself. Or consider putting security bars in the runners if the windows open horizontally.

Get curtains for all your windows and use them every night.

Put security film on windows in doors or next to doors, bathroom windows etc, any window you can't put a curtain on.

Consider a motion activated security camera doorbell.

If you have a sliding door check the lock. Consider adding a security bar or extra security lock.

AyemHerself · 2020-10-19T20:42:35+00:00

I don't have it in front of me at the moment, but look up Evy Pompouras' book Becoming Bulletproof. There's a section in there about securing your home from intruders.

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2020-10-19T21:23:15+00:00

SimpliSafe alarm systems stick on windows so you can install them in apartments and take them with you when you leave.

Take self defense classes, always be aware when you’re walking, and consider getting a weapon if you’re comfortable and can get educated on how to use it.

Honestly my cat knows exactly what sounds are “normal” and will immediately rotate an ear when she hears something out of the ordinary. Obviously she’ll hide from everyone but it’s good early warning of when I need to be more alert.

Can you transfer apartments within the same building without having to break your lease? Your landlord should be sympathetic to your issue, and at the very least they don’t want to have to worry about crime on their property.

Agree with the other posters that said this is beyond the expertise of this sub and to seek resources in your area. Stay safe!!

riverboatgirl · 2020-10-20T02:10:35+00:00

Nail the windows shut. Read The Gift of Fear. Get professional advice.

Hhjjuuy · 2020-10-20T13:05:41+00:00

In addition to all the other comments, set up check ins with someone you trust. Someone who you can send a good night and good morning text to who will notice and act if they don't hear from you.

If you have evidence, make a case with the police. If he has been harassing you with texts/phone calls or made any texts in writing document them and start a paper trail. This unfortunately won't protect you but may help if things escalate.

Title	Keeping home safe from ex
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	7
Date	October 19, 2020 6:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/je7vhv/keeping-home-safe-from-ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/keeping-home-safe-from-ex.1629095 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629095

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