Dealing with put downs

BobbyPeru · 2017-12-11T21:20:57+00:00

First off, your lack of sidebar readings shines through because you would know that “pushing back” on shit tests is often the worst thing you can do, especially in the beginning.

DGAF and STFU are your best move on these, and they ARE shit tests.

If you read the basics, you can handle these pretty easily with non-butthurt lighthearted quick quips. For example;

why did you put that there I didn't want it there

“That’s cool if you want to move it. “ Then STFU

Or

“OMG, we better call in the Navy Seals to get that moved” (with a grin)

Taipanshimshon · 2017-12-11T21:49:11+00:00

I.e. why did you put that there I didn't want it there!

first, recognize that THIS is not a put down. The put down is self directed.

You probably felt something like " She did not want it there, therefore that must be where it does not go and only idiots put things where they do not go. She must think I am an idiot - OH NO!"

Instead "I.e. why did you put that there I didn't want it there!"

smile and laugh.

and then say "But I did"

because you put it there - because you want it there - because you felt like it that day.

edit : she is asking a question with a follow up statement from her ( ie "I do not want it there")

the assumption on YOUR end ( definitely hers, but she is not here) is that SHE is in charge.

Change the assumption.

albus_scirocco · 2017-12-11T23:13:19+00:00

"My girlfriends like it when I do it like this."

Sly grin, like it's a joke. Then go back to what you were doing.

Westernhagen · 2017-12-12T01:30:44+00:00

why did you put that there I didn't want it there!

"That's what she said."

SteelSharpensSteel · 2017-12-12T00:45:20+00:00

"Why did you put it there? I didn't want it there!"

You respond in several ways:

"Too bad." said with a smirk.

laughs softly at the fact she is the oldest teenager in the house then STFU. You do not engage.

"I'm glad to see you're as sharp as ever." said with a smirk then STFU.

"Let me go call my boys - looks like moving this will take some work!" then STFU.

Lots of choices. You need to read NNMNG.

cholomite · 2017-12-12T00:10:49+00:00

She is testing you to see if her petty bullshit will have any effect on your emotions or thought process. A man who is influenced by shit like this is a weak man in her eyes, and she doesn't want a weak man. If it isn't a big deal, which it usually isn't, then stop giving a fuck.

STFU, and when you get a little more confident you can actually have fun showing her how little fucks you give by being cocky about it and pushing her buttons on purpose.

Women hate supplicating beta males. Women will tolerate men who don't supplicate to them. Women love men who mock and ridicule the very idea of supplicating to them.

Take it easy at first, but what she really wants is a man who has to balls and the frame to tell her to shut the fuck up, in a cocky funny kind of way of course.

straius · 2017-12-12T03:30:25+00:00

Just keep moving it back there during dinner while in the middle of talking. Ask her to pass the salt and move the dish back in place when she does, or ask her to get something from the other room or counter and move it, one of these times just look her in the eye and slowly, really slowly move the dish back where you want it.

Seriously, just fuck with her about it instead of making it such a serious affair.

I mean fuck, your example is like a literal 5 year old argument. I literally heard two of them having this argument two days ago.

Triadis3 · 2017-12-12T12:42:27+00:00

Poopyhead.

Rian_Stone · 2017-12-11T21:21:53+00:00

Tell her she can shut the fuck up, and own it.

And when she calls you on it, hold frame. If she escalates, go out and have something better to do. Double the amount of time out each time.

Will she think you're buttmad? Probably.

Will you be put down? No, you're not available.

screechhater · 2017-12-11T23:28:12+00:00

Just a silly question from the ultimate fucktard here ....

But does it really matter where you put something down and she wants it somewhere else ?

Seriously, can you tell her, “If want something done a certain way, how about if you do it yourself ?”

I mean come on are you that afraid you will hurt her feelings ? WTF ?

mmslp will do nothing for you if you don’t consciously conclude that this is either enough and draw a boundary or you laugh it off. Either way, it should mean nothing to you.

In the “Way of the Superior Male” he goes deep into operating in your own frame so nothing bothers you from her. Period.

tacoduck_ · 2017-12-13T20:56:13+00:00

"why did you put that there I didn't want it there!"

Are we talking about butt play?

red-sfpplus · 2017-12-11T23:46:33+00:00

The rare occasion I have to do the dishes, I put things back in the wrong place. Esp non common things like cooking utensils.

My wife is always annoyed by this.

I always tell her if she doesn’t like where I put things, then don’t have my do her job.

This also applies to laundry. She has a special way she folds the towels. Me, not so much.

In either instance, I have the balls and backbone to pull it off while joking with her and displaying value and frame.

You cannot do this. You need to worry about the sidebar for now.

Title	Dealing with put downs
Author	HLM34
Upvotes	4
Comments	28
Date	December 11, 2017 9:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7j5du4/dealing_with_put_downs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/dealing-with-put-downs.205071 https://theredarchive.com/post/205071

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