How much responsibility should I delegate?

strategos_autokrator · 2016-02-02T08:17:59+00:00

You are the captain. If something goes wrong, in the end, you have to fix it. So you delegate as much as you think she can handle safely that adds to your life, knowing that if you disconnect too much, and she messes up, it will be your mess to clean.

It is only too much when if something bad happens, you blame them, or you can't fix it and get frustrated. If she is a good officer, she is a great asset, and it is good to delegate. Go reward her for her good work. Also, just check on her regularly, not because you don't trust her, but to make sure she feels comfortable with the responsibilities, is happy, etc. Your attention is a good reward most of the time. A good captain makes sure his crew has a good morale and is healthy. If things are too much for her, she can't handle it well, then a good leader will realize this and change things.

The key is to not focus on you bossing her, but on your vision and getting to it. If she joins that frame, things are good.

Trekneck · 2016-02-02T12:59:37+00:00

Do YOU feel like you've given her too much control over the situation? Feel like you're delegating too much?

In the end, how much distance are you willing to put between yourself and the biggest purchase you're ever going to make (at least for the moment? When something goes wrong, and believe me, one way or another something inevitably will, are you in a position to handle it having been absent from the process?

MRPguy · 2016-02-02T13:53:59+00:00

All responsibility rests with you. Remember that "a woman's mistakes are never remembered, a man's are never forgotten."

No matter what you have delegated, the ultimate blame will be placed on you. This is true because you are a Man and leading your family, and because your wife is a women and AWALT.

Consider: you give your wife control of the finances and in 20 years you have no money for retirement. Guess who gets blamed? Hint: not your wife.

CinnaMagister · 2016-02-02T14:45:42+00:00

I've pulled back from delegating and am handling things myself for now (for the most part). This is because I don't trust her to handle things, and I want her to see a process for getting things done in an orderly way.

Just last night she thanked me for being a "good example" to her and for motivating her to tackle her own shit. I didn't do anything other than bring some order to the household by way of getting shit done.

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-02-02T16:51:36+00:00

I'd say that you know the answer to your question already and there's no way someone on the internet could judge your situation better than you do.

I would give you one piece of advice: Handle the finances for the major things yourself (house, car) and give her a budget for the rest of the household expenses to dispose of as she sees fit.

You said she's selling handicrafts and is doing "quite well". What exactly does that mean? Is she making so much profit that she can pay the mortgage and other bills on her own? If you count the hours she's put into the venture and divide her total profit (not income) by that number, is it above or below minimum wage?

whinemoreplease · 2016-02-02T16:55:31+00:00

0.

From what I hear is that you're equation delegating with deferring responsibility.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-02-03T16:11:00+00:00

Contrary to popular opinion on the Red Pill, SOME women actually fulfill their roll as "helpmeet." Not many, but some.

There are no guidelines for your question except delegate as much as you can but not to much. You know what your wife can handle, we don't. Here is a hint: She can handle a LOT more with a supportive, affectionate, loving husband.

druganswer · 2016-02-02T17:34:50+00:00

Sounds like you're doing well. Bring home a bottle of her favorite wine as a token of your appreciation. It will make her feel rewarded for "her" hard work and continue establishing your role as the leader.

Title	How much responsibility should I delegate?
Author	NeomerArcana
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	February 2, 2016 7:42 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/43t9hi/how_much_responsibility_should_i_delegate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-much-responsibility-should-i-delegate.207693 https://theredarchive.com/post/207693

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