Just started here and am ~ 1/4 of the way through the rational male and about 40 pages into NMMNG. So obiously I have alot of reading and learning to do.

With that said my LTR and one of the girls, we will call her "Samantha," in our group of friends have been posting petty cryptic memes on facebook about eachother and LTR was wasting alot of time obsessing over it. I told her I didn't want to listen to it; unfollow her and stop wasting her time with such petty shit and she did. She stopped bringing it up and all was fine regarding the issue for about 2 weeks.

Tuesday night at my son's baseball game LTR states her phone is dead and asks if she can use mine to take pictures of our son. I am an assistant coach on the team. I hand over my phone and head out to the field. After the game I notice Facebook notifications number is lower than when I handed it to her and asked her if she looked at my notifications. She said no but she deleted Samantha from your friend list. I get angry and am about to begin losing my shit until I remember I have to try to keep frame. No emotional outburst, no pussy whining bullshit like I would before. I simply kept calm and said "You violated my trust. No longer will you be allowed to use my phone for any reason."

She goes apeshit wondering why I'm mad that she deleted Samantha and goes on about how she doesn't understand why I care, blah blah she wouldn't have cared if the roles were reversed.
I calmly asked to have her phone to delete a friend from her facebook of my choosing. Of course she declined and kept trying to get me into her frame of arguing. Following me around outside and inside continuing to try and provoke an argument. I sat down started reading and told her I had nothing else to contribute to the conversation and no longer wanted to hear her talk about it. She continued and said something like what so I can't talk about it anymore? I replied with go to the room and talk to the fucking wall for all I care. Just stop talking to me about it. Rest of the night went ok just spent our time in different parts of the house until I went to bed.

Next day goes ok. She sends me a text stating that she updated the budget spreadsheet. (Something that I have had a hard time getting her on board with after I implemented last month. I finally told her this seems like too much responsibility for you right now I can just take care of it.) LTR and kids go to church that evening and I stay home (which is typical wednesday night behavior.) When they get home from church she comes in and is having a hard time with our son (listening which is all the time.) Is in a bitchy mood, doesnt say hi until 15 mins after she arrives and only does because I prompt her to. Don't let it phase me. Read bedtime stories and send the kids to bed. She comes into the living room where I am watching TV and curls up on me. She states her hands are cold. I said "let them wander they will find something that can warm them up." She says something like "whatever" sits there for a little longer then goes to bed.

This morning I made steak and mushroom scrambled eggs for the family. Me and the kids ate at the table after it was ready. LTR was getting ready and in shower (not unusual for her to not eat breakfast with us on the occasional mornings I make it for the family.) We finish eating and I have to head out the door for work. Tell the kids bye and poke my head into the bathroom and say the usual scripted byeloveyouhaveagoodday.

Get to work and get essay text messages from LTR "Wow. you cant even kiss me bye. Wants to know why I'm so mad about her deleting friend thats talking shit about her and trying to turn everyone against her. Why is it such a big deal. Why is it so important I remained friends with that bitch. I guess I should still be talking to a fucking wall. She wouldnt be mad if it were the other way around she would have deleted them herself even blocked them in a heartbeat. Shes not worthy of knowing anything. Thats all shorthand then ends with have a great day babe! I see more and more of how much I really matter to you.

I respond with your breakfast is on the stove.

She would never say the things that I say to her. Hates the way I treat her. Maker feel like nothing and like she a kid that needs babysitting. Then says to take the breakfast I made to "Samantha" and to see if I can get her to cheat on her husband since she has in the past and I think shes so cute. LTR states she is obviously not good or pretty enough for me!!!!!

I dont respond or answer calls. An hour later she texts and apologizes for snapping at me. She feels so unwanted and unneeded in my life. She thinks I get pleasure out of her hurting or failing. Shes really trying. Asks if we can talk tonight that she would really appreciate it. Its not fair the way Ive been treating her.

Have I been handling this right up to this point? Any advice on what to read to prepare me for this talk? She feels useless because she only does temporary work as a substitute teacher and only accpets jobs that open up at the school her mom works at. So I am the only one supporting the family monetarily. I told her in the past that I expect the House to be her main proirity and I expect her to treat it like a full time job. Haven't done a good job at all defending that boundry because the house is a fucking wreck. So at times I make snappy comments about the house or about her not even being able to clean up after her own mess. Trying to cut down on the snappy bitchy whiny shit that was my means of communicating in the past.