Main Event? Cont....

SBIII · 2018-02-15T12:11:09+00:00

I've just read the other thread you posted. I don't think anything has changed other than you are showing signs of cracking.

As others have said, this is not a main event but a shit test. It's going on too long because you're allowing it to - you're talking too much, giving away too much information and she's using that to find ways to attack you and get under your skin.

She's testing your strength and it's starting to fail the more she picks away at it.

If you're feeling tired and drained, she sees that. She sees that you are failing and that she is winning. She sees that you are losing power and that she has the strength to erode it.

There's a crack in your armour and she's poking through it with a needle. And it's hurting you. She can see that, so she's poking harder and harder. It's in her nature to do this, so she will keep doing it until something makes her stop - that something is either you stopping her or you collapsing in a heap on the ground, at which point, she'll stop poking you coz it's pointless. Either way, the only way she will stop poking is if she sees that she is getting no reaction.

You need to shut this down, stand up to her and show her that you cannot be broken, swayed or bent. You need to fix that chink in your armour & be the knight who lives though this joust, not the one lying bleeding out on the floor.

ReddJive · 2018-02-15T12:46:25+00:00

i haven't looked into your whole post history, but I had doubts about whether you had a real main event or not. I didn't say anything in your original post. I wanted to see how it played out because I suspected you'd be back. I get to be wrong once a year....I am not wasting that on you. Turns out I wasn't.

I suspect you didn't. In the main event its the final submission to your frame or it isn't.

She says divorce. You hand her papers. She can follow or not.

What I think you had was a major comfort test. And I think you are too disconnected. You've pulled away. If you don't want her any more that's your decision, yet in your last post you gloss over a couple things:

Well, now I'm an asshole. I love myself. I have a fucking attitude. I don't tell her anything. I go out all the time

What's this mean?

You also short on some details.

Jackten used to talk about currency in the relationship. I can't find his post about it right now but when Dread starts getting to your wife and she says the things yours is and especially "are you having an affair?" you have successfully devalued her. She is asking what can she do to get you back.

Jack always suspected that quickly ramping dread was not the way to go. I agree. MRP even talks about slowly brining up Dread. She is always 6 months behind at best. You seem to have a case where your dread is on the rise and now she's completely insecure and unsure of her own femininity. So with Jack's idea of currency she has no way to spend it because it has no value. So she's given up. There is no investor any more, no banks for loans.

I can't go further than that, but look. You have kicked the puppy. It's time now to take the mantle of captain and oak and start seeing if you can right the ship under your frame. Bringing her along. It's entirely possible she DGAF. But to me it sounds like you have successfully taken control, asserted your presence and you frame. Time to ease off and see if you can bring her into your frame. Right now she has no idea what you want and you haven't done anything other then talk about it and we know how well overt communications work with women.

TheGlassStone · 2018-02-15T12:29:34+00:00

OP, you need to read The Art of Not Giving A Fuck

red-sfpplus · 2018-02-15T14:54:16+00:00

Constant threats to leave with kids and get her own place.

"OK - drive safe."

LPT: Let her leave and abandon the marital home. If it gets to the point of D, then everything you can show in your favor helps.

Even better if she takes the kids out of state, or out of their school zone and tosses their life into a scramble.

SBIII · 2018-02-15T12:37:24+00:00

I'll just add another bit to this because I'm going through something very similar at the minute and I got almost the same shit test last night. The key to this - and pretty much the entireity of MRP - is frame.

There's a shit load of writing on this subject but for me, the day I realised what it was and how to find / rediscover it was so simple. So simple that it had eluded me for a long time. People have different ways of defining frame, of making it their own and of how they maintain it. You need to find your way.

For me it was the phrase "burn your ships" that made me realise what frame was. Frame is when you burn everything in your mind and heart and realise that you are 100% alone. She is not yours, she is not there for you, she does not care for you.

Once you accept that - not just accept it, but embrace it and take the fucking heartwrenching pain that it brings, then you realise that you are free.

Once you are free, your frame is your own. You have control over yourself and of your life. The actions you take are yours alone and they will not be dictated by the whims of others. You have control over who you allow into your frame and what you allow into it.

I only discovered this truth on Friday morning. On Friday evening, when I got home, I got shit / comfort tested. It was the first big shit test that I've had where I wasn't - in part - faking it.

It also led to the first bit of affection she has shown me in months.

Since then, I opened up to her more - showing desire through game , kino and initiation. In my head, I see this as allowing her into my frame. Some of it she was happy to go along with, but yesterday I got another shit test.. it's like she realised she'd gotten close, so now was the time to see if she could inflict some damage - so I pushed her back out of my frame. You want to get in here, you play nice, if not GTFO.

I'm sure others will have a different take on frame, but this works for me - it's almost like the female version of a bitch shield, only it's a cool, clean, shining armour with a badass king underneath.

OK, enough of the knight imagery for now.

gettingmymojoback · 2018-02-15T12:51:37+00:00

63 days since you went from Rambo with dead bedroom, to improved sex life, to week long shit test.

Zero OYS posts.....”7 months” in.

My gut reaction is that you are still in the “fuck that bitch, I do what I want” head space.

Great, you’re not a pushover with your balls in her purse anymore. Now, what are you doing to be a high value man that she WANTS to follow?

Carrots and sticks. Sounds like you’ve got STFU and remove presence down. Your stick game is on point. How’s your carrot game?

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-02-15T16:02:26+00:00

She then brings up issues from the old me that I've done my time for.

Please be advised of your Miranda Rights: Anything you've ever done or said can be used against you at any time.

It's just another shit test. She is testing your frame, and since this has worked in the past to expose you as a DEERing sniveling little beta, she will continue to use it.

Smile and hold your frame and OWN it. "Yup, I sure as shit said/did that". After the initial shock wears off she will see you differently.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-02-15T17:21:04+00:00

A hysterical wife who just sees her husband putting emotional distance between them

man_in_the_world · 2018-02-15T19:18:59+00:00

How to handle accusations of affairs 101

Title	Main Event? Cont....
Author	Awakeningof17
Upvotes	6
Comments	20
Date	February 15, 2018 11:08 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7xpok5/main_event_cont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/main-event-cont.204818 https://theredarchive.com/post/204818

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