Some questions while reading up

stonepimpletilists · 2016-04-20T12:14:23+00:00

So I get the one. When you were probably going to shower anyways, but her barking a command before you do has a feeling of 'pretend power' and you want to shut it down without looking buthurt.

Here, try the next 100 times, and then reassess

cant your head, laugh, then go do it anyways(becase you're not a slob right?). you're signalling that this stallion can't be tamed, go get em tiger :) Oh, and do the initiating thing, even if she shuts it down, it's fun to practice game

When she asks me what's up, how should I respond?

Let me guess. you say 'nothing' and she prods you still. she expects you to say something bothering you, so just give her what she wants. My go to, in a joking matter, are variations of the following

I'm Furious.
Maddest I've ever been
If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
We've been together for X years/It's [current year], I can't believe we still have to have this conversation

Wind her up. And if you've had your fun, just say something like

Well, the only answer you would accept was me being angry, or something being wrong... you're welcome, can I go back to watching Walking Dead now? add a slap to the ass, or some reach around hug play or something after

Our night routine is weird.

Either she is making herself unavailable for sex, so she doesn't have to shut it down (and feel that she's not a good wife) or it's just shitty timing, either way, the guys in here have better advice than I can give for it.

And have fun man, MRP doesn't have to be super serious all the time you know

over60_stupid_loner · 2016-04-20T11:59:35+00:00

You have been reading a lot. Good, but keep in mind that it will take a while for some of the new ideas to become your own.

Question 1: I don't see any problem if you are really dirty. Wouldn't want you on my furniture. u/Olderpiller had the good idea to invite her to the shower.

Question 2: She thinks you are acting fake. That's good that she is noticing the changes. You have to decide if you are overdoing it,and, if so, how to be more gradual and natural. This requires you to be thoughtful and practical. Realize that everything is trial and error, OK?

Question 3: She is avoiding your advances. Well, not new, and, what do now…. Initiate on the couch, wake her up in the morning, keep TELLING (not asking) her to come to bed. Remember, that you are going to get refusals. That is OK, if you can learn how not to seem butt-hurt, and, that is hard to do sometimes. Always have a simple, logical escape from the situation. If she says no:

on the couch = you go to bed

no in the AM - you go to work

no to the sweaty shower = you go do shower

no anytime = you can go to sleep at night or a nap in the day or just get busy with anything

….you get the idea.

I remember your first post. Keep after it, you are making progress.

fuzzyface1980 · 2016-04-20T07:00:13+00:00

Do your own thing. When I first started, I imagined that I was a single parent in the house and that's how I made my decisions. My wife was pregnant at the time, so she was upstairs a lot. Not much of a mental leap in the deadbedroom situation.

Either way, separate your wife from your actions in the moment. Too many details for you to worry about while you learn.

What would you do if she isn't there?

Olderpiller · 2016-04-20T03:51:17+00:00

Simple answer to question 3 - initiate on the couch. The whole point is every room of the house is available for sex. Not just the bedroom. keep reading and lifting and you will see that you can initiate I the laundry room and the garage also. as far as a good answer to being dirty after yard work take off your clothes slap her on the ass and tell her to join you in the shower to help you get clean and dirty at the same time

ReddJive · 2016-04-20T14:54:26+00:00

I am on the road as well.

The first two I can tell you I just ignore. I am really not good at being a comic so AM doesn't work for me at all. I just blow her off. For me it works because my wife is an absolute control freak and likes ordering people around.

The third, in my situation, is her delaying to the absolute last minute. Power trip, LMR, who the fuck cares. Take control back. She knows you want to fuck. But you know she wants to as well but isn't willing to admit it for some fucked up reason.

but in both those situations you can't slack. Meaning you can't think "well so and so is going to do the laundry". Be a man and do a load...even if it's one shirt. Don't rely on someone else. She will ring up all the shit you've never done...don't listen to the guilt. It's in the past and you can't fix that but you can fix now.

I have your schedule. I am up at 4:30am to hit the gym before work. I hit the rack before her. It's been 2 or 3 months of build up but this week I just go to bed. three times now she has whimpered at me

"are we going to have sex?" this is at around 11:30, her nose in her texts, and after I have done all the PUA stuff for the last two hours.

Her version of initiating. Now I am tired of the lack of passion, and desire on her part so I have a bit different circumstance but still. I do me. I have shit to do. I want to fuck yeah, but my life, schedule routine and mission are not going to be held up because of a lack of it. So no. No sex. I have to get up early and fucking a hole in the mattress isn't fun. Besides being whined at, are you ready? done yet? Fuck. That.

These measures are extreme in some cases. I am on the path to be the unmerciful god of everything in my universe. She'll wake up at some point or not. That's her choice.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-04-21T00:38:47+00:00

·1. This is a classic compliance test. She may be right but you need a frame string enough to decide that and it isn't. Are you seriously asking some bros on the internet if you needed a shower?

·2. You are being fake and incongruent. The goal is not to ignore your wife like a butthurt retard. The goal is to be a fun in charge guy who has better things to do than hang with a bitchy shit testing sex denying harpy. If she isn't being like that why are you ignoring her?

·3. I like to initiate by looking her deep in the eyes and then leading her to the bedroom. Dude I am getting a vibe that you are absolutely terrified of your wife. What else is going on?

Persaeus · 2016-04-20T11:25:58+00:00

Question 1 - Not really a shit test (she is not testing your frame or attacking you); but instead is a type of compliance test. This the "wife tells husband what to do before husband has a chance to do it on his on volition". IMO this is an insidious compliance test that must be joyfully stomped as she is trying setup a frame where she is your leader/mother reminding the idiot/child. Two step process for stomping. First, don't be an idiot and have your shit together. So in your example, you need to be in the habit of changing your work clothes before lay on the couch; but at the same time it's your fucking house so walking over to frig should not be a problem assuming you have not been cleaning out the pig pen. Second, you need to bust her compliance test. There's an infinite way to do this, the key being in all cases be cheerful and assertive. An example:

Wife: you need to change your clothes

You: No shit, I would never have thought of that had you not told me. (smiling entire time....establish boundary and your awareness of her test)

Wife: Your an asshole (or some variant)

You: Would you like to change me, or better yet just strip right in front of her and tell her you need help getting clean (smirk, agree and amplify).

I use to get these pre-emptive compliance test all the freaking time; and quite truthfully I brought it on myself by not having my shit together (i.e. I sat on the couch). Not anymore. IMO this is important to deal with because it part of the dynamic of mother or lover....and we all know mothers do not fuck their kids.

Question 2 - What over60 said, plus keep in mind that the preferred beginning path is one where your communication of the new you is slow/covert enough to engage her lizard brain but not the frontal cortex. See BPP book for excellent advise on this subject. Otherwise your answer is "I am doing great/awesome..." You don't need to explain yourself, and better to let her hamster do the heavy lifting.

Question 3 - yes she is avoiding you most likely. Great advice already given on this one. I would only add, do not orbit her.

CinnaMagister · 2016-04-20T14:03:08+00:00

Some really good advice in here, OP. I hope you take it.

Since you put yourself over as having read the three sidebar prereq books, have you applied them? Which one is most important to you right now? Since you mentioned MMSLP specifically, do you have a MAP in place? Are you working on one? Are you really seeking to better yourself as a man or just looking for techniques to use?

TheThirdT · 2016-04-20T18:51:56+00:00

This is a reasonable request, but also something most people would do on their own. Maybe turn stuff like this into some fun by chasing her around to give her a hug or something.
I look at these type of questions as an opportunity to make up some random ridiculous reason for being upset. Like "I bought a box of 10,000 staples today but when I counted them there was only 9999 so I am super pissed and now I will have to return them next month."
Why not initiate on the couch? Use teasing, kino, playfulness to up the sexual tension throughout the day.

The_Litz · 2016-04-22T12:37:54+00:00

Q1. 'Sure babe' - walk to the fridge and take a beer and go sit on the porch. It is not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

Q2. You have always been a happy go lucky type of guy and now you have turned into a dour old sourpuss by the sounds of it. The captain can have fun leading, you don't have to be an ass to be assertive.

Q3.She is avoiding sex.

We have sex 80% of the time in bed, 20% of the time somewhere else.

Half the time is bedtime, the other half is mornings/afternoons/whenever.

You are making more of it than it is.

Title	Some questions while reading up
Author	fakus
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	April 20, 2016 3:41 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4flhxe/some_questions_while_reading_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/some-questions-while-reading-up.207488 https://theredarchive.com/post/207488

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