Married 11y together 14. 3 kids under 10

About 6 weeks ago wife (35) and I (34) had a serious argument that led to me realizing I was being a beta bitch. Been knee deep in reading ever since. I started with NMMNG before I had the chance to read that we don't talk about fight club. In NMMNG I found I was using sex for validation and led to bad sex. My dumb ass.... I talked to my wife told let her from now on, I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want herself. No sex especially right then. We took 2 weeks off of sex and no initiations from me. When that ended we had damn good sex once. I performed better than normal and lead her to what I want.

She has been distant ever since then. She said it's not normal for me to 1. not be all over her. 2. to last that long after a 2 wk dry spell. 3. not negotiating for sex after 4 days.

Since then we've had bad sex twice and I've told her I don't want that. It feels forced and it sucks. Again another red flag from me. She thinks or has entertained the idea that I already have or am trying to fuck someone else. At the gym or at work.

Other than reading/ listening to sidebar and books I've gone to the gym more often was going 1 to 3 now going minimum of 3. I told her I wanted to take all the bills over because I've been a piece of shit and not involved. And I started doing more around the house. My house, My responsibility.

Right now our relationship is the worst it's ever been and it's like she wants me back in my beta box. I know up until now most of our problems are my fault. When I'm trying to fix me I'm met with hostility, mistrust, and her walls are all the way up. I've passed several shit tests but failed more im sure.

Tuesday we had the day off together and planned to spend it together hanging out in our pool and having a few beers. She decided to do some yard work that I wasn't interested in right then so, I told her I'd rather not. She continued doing it so I went and did my own thing. When she gets done and comes inside she starts badgering me about what's wrong. I told her how I didn't want to so I didn't do it. Ruined the whole fucking day.

Some things are different positively, she has slept with her head on my chest without me asking. This is something that I like because it puts me to sleep. She normally complains it hurts her shoulder.

I'm aware and trying not to go Rambo. I haven't told her she is wrong at all. All I've done is own up to my bullshit and work on it. I still need a mission and to establish frame. At this point I really don't want a divorce and I'm trying to kill the oneitis. If divorce is what needs to happen I'll cross that bridge when I get there but I haven't prepped at all.

Is this too much Rambo or am I par for the course?