Update: Help requested for fledgling RP in tumultuous relationship - THIS STUFF WORKS!

dandar4600 · 2015-09-16T11:21:56+00:00

"OMG! Is that what you really look like?"

That's where you fucked up your night. You basically called her ugly which manifested in:

"You know you could still find someone on Craigslist in the Personals section who's not ugly. It's still early."

Having said that, people told you to run cause she's crazy and you're better off not sticking your dick in crazy. You're single now so start reading models and other TRP related material.

Countpudyoola · 2015-09-16T13:49:48+00:00

was there anything I could have done better in this interaction

Probably dropped her ass off sooner. But you did it , which in the end is all that matters.

It's easy as pie to use a.a. , a.m. when you know the outcome is going to be : You're probably going to dump her.

So you dialed it up to 11.

Fine in this case, but when you start dating other chicks though , you'll need to make it more playful.

I wouldn't say "it worked" in the normal sense (diffusing shit tests). It was pretty much used in the "I'm permanently done with your shit sense and am trying to piss you off before I go."

Again, all fine , because you knew she had to go, which is the totally important part. Now you're free to work on yourself and get set up before the next chick comes along (or you go get one).

blarggggggggggg · 2015-09-16T17:24:04+00:00

A lot of your A&A and AM just sounds like passive-aggressive insult throwing instead of playfulness. I wasn't there but based on this descripting you sound like a tryhard asshole instead of a relaxed, fun IDGAF guy.

That said, this woman sounds like no big loss.

marriedrpguy · 2015-09-16T12:12:18+00:00

So now your next task is to not go back. As I said in my previous post, if you feel the urge, just punch yourself in the nuts - hard.

You're better off alone than with someone mentally unstable.

marxistbacon · 2015-09-16T12:36:15+00:00

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Leaving is easy; rebuilding yourself and your attitude and "cleaning house" inside your mind is the next, and harder, step. I encourage you to look at your own part in making the relationship what it was - it's NEVER as clear cut as "I was 100% perfect but she was 100% a bitch". Then figure out what needs to change to avoid that, and keep reminding yourself of the actual things you want from a woman and your next relationship.

That being said, a couple impressions. /u/dandar4600 mentioned that you started on the wrong track with your "is that what you look like" comment. That may be, but there's more nuance. With my girl, I throw stuff like that around all the time but she know's I'm just teasing her and she pretends to get all indignant and then I give her a sexy little ass squeeze and we just have a good time. But in the case where your girl was already wound up, and is predisposed to see things in a negative light, and with all the history between you, then yeah, you need stronger frame to pull it off without it getting taken as serious and an insult. Only you can be the judge of that, but keep working on the internal frame as well as the outward manifestation (the A&A, AM, etc).

The "oh really, can we" comes off as a little passive aggressive and snarky, but it it what it is. What I'm reading in your interaction is not so much a sequence of intrinsically meaningful symptoms as an account of you, after having pretty much decided to check out, just finding little things as they came up, to validate and encourage your decision to go. Her reactions were on the one hand, pretty typical (incessantly talking about herself if left unchecked - AWALT btw), mixed with pretty shitty (you know we're going to do it so stop talking about it) and what sounds like a bad mood. But keep in mind that the things she does are only half what happened - the other half is how you perceived them. If you're in a hateful, angry, disillusioned frame of mind, then you'll be predisposed to take any remark as a major insult. So again, it's hard to give 100% objective feedback based only on the conversation.

Anyways, good luck to you. Focus on improving yourself.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-09-19T14:54:26+00:00

You posted on MRP which has as one of it's goals the preservation of the relationship so let me address that.

"OMG! Is that what you really look like?" She laughed it off but it was clear again that my newfound bravado and completely upbeat attitude rattled her.

She was not the only person rattled by your bravado.

You know you could still find someone on Craigslist in the Personals section who's not ugly.

Slow pitching a comfort test after you hurt her fee-fees. A big strong, take her into your arms and a "I will wait on that...for now" is all you needed to do.

I could tell you, but you wouldn't get it

This is catnip to a woman. You know the story of Eve, right? Pandora? Basically every culture in human history describes the curiosity of women and how they want what they cant have.

parting shots at me for suddenly becoming an "asshole" instead of the "nice guy" she fell in love with, I told her flat out in an even tone that I'm not going to be with someone who tries to control my behavior

This is the extent of the talking about your relationship that you should do. Establish the boundaries and then STFU.

However:

dropped her off at her place. Got a few texts from her after that, and broke contact. I blocked her phone number and texts

Still not clear why you did this? Was it the plan to dump her from the beginning? This behavior is TFB- Typical Female Behavior.

I'm not putting up with her shit any longer

Good! Except the way to do this right is to not put up with her shit any longer, not to suddenly turn schizophrenic.

The girl was excited and chattering with her lover about a job. Your job- if you wanted to be in a relationship with this women- was to nod your head and pretend to listen.

All that said, she doesn't sound like a prize- but neither do you at this point.

whinemoreplease · 2015-09-21T16:38:31+00:00

42 year old drug addict who babbles and is uninteresting and is a single parent. how the fuck did you not next her immediately?

RedDeadWolverine · 2015-09-20T12:37:34+00:00

Please break up the endless wall of text.

bogeyd6 · 2015-09-21T18:52:33+00:00

so, you happy about tonight, babe?

Don't ask. Instead say "tonight is going to be awesome". You are conveying what you do is awesome, who cares if she is happy?

you know, we're going to do it tonight, so you don't have to talk about it

I swear women are natural red pill. The beta man talks about, the alpha be's about it. You don't need to remind her of this stuff. At least she is already at the point where she knows she is going to have to fuck.

I replied "oh boy, could we???"

You could have replied "New office, yeah let's go see it, I hope they have a water slide"

At this point she got her back up, got very cold, and said "I'll remember to use that tone of voice on you next time."

No one likes to be put down and belittled over something they might be excited about.

Me: "WTF are you talking about?" Her: "I don't like people who are being condescending to me." Me: "I don't know what you're seeing as condescending, but I'm just joking around and having fun. Sure, let's go see your office." Her: "Never mind."

You entered her frame. Honestly, since the beginning you were in her frame now that I think about it. Explaining yourself to her? Never again. Mostly, don't put yourself in this situation. Once you are in it up to your neck you could have just ignored it and drove to her office or you could have used AM "blah condescending blah" and said "Sweety, thats a big word" as you chuckled and patted her on the shoulder. All the while continuing the drive to her new office.

"you know, tonight, I'm going to have a good time. With or without you if necessary." Her: "Take me home then."

Yeah thats pretty much the default answer you are going to get everytime. You talked about red pill. I don't think there is a woman in the world that is going to beg you to stay with her. In the whole conversation you could have just left this out. The summary of all this you are going to have a good time, she is along for the ride, and you don't talk about it. She broke your alphaness down, you entered her frame, and now she is calling the shots. RP teaches us to be shot callers, not soliders.

I laid on the A&A and AM big time

Where in the hell was this in the beginning of the car ride? IF you have to tell her that you can replace her, then it just comes off as beta.

Congrats I suppose on nexting her.

Title	Update: Help requested for fledgling RP in tumultuous relationship - THIS STUFF WORKS!
Author	powerscrounge
Upvotes	2
Comments	21
Date	September 16, 2015 11:10 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3l5pcf/update_help_requested_for_fledgling_rp_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/update-help-requested-for-fledgling-rp-in.208099 https://theredarchive.com/post/208099

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