Why is STFU so hard? (honest question)

Praexology · 2022-11-26T15:16:38+00:00

What part of the betaization process makes me so prone to giving in to such requests?

It's because you're obsessed with the "asthetic" of being seen as alpha rather than doing what you're supposed to be doing - or acting in a way that is consistent with your tested beliefs.

Guys struggle with STFU because we face a lot of things that attempt to characterize us.

• The desire to not feel like the asshole.

• The desire to pacify your wife/ltr's feelings.

• The desire to be seen as a desireable man.

• The desire to be seen as someone who is [insert quality here]

So we talk and talk and talk in order to convince people we are that way, rather then letting people form their opinions based on our actions.

sicrm · 2022-11-26T14:05:25+00:00

because people feel that they have to respond to everything.

theres at least one interaction a day whether it’s over text, phone, or in person where STFU is better than responding.

do it at least once a day and go from there.

Swagstoic · 2022-11-26T15:12:24+00:00

You're likely showing codependent signs. You're seeking external validation, thus the need to word vomit everywhere and not shutting the eff up.

When you're your own mental point of origin, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

Make peace with the man in the mirror.

PutABabyInThat · 2022-11-26T16:19:18+00:00

It's difficult because you're used to letting your emotions control your actions.

The tricky part about STFU is learning to catch yourself before you say something. That involves recognizing when you're experiencing an emotion that wants to drive your mouth and pausing to sort that emotion rationally before acting.

If you've been on autopilot your whole life, taking back some control is going to be a bit of work.

Self-awarenesss.

SnooGuavas8229 · 2022-11-26T14:41:25+00:00

It's ego driven. You have to be right, prove yourself and everyone ( your girl) can see how great/smart you are and things will "magically" workout bc you know everything.

bussinesstravel · 2022-11-26T15:17:46+00:00

It might be necessary to go back to WISNIFG

There are hundreds of examples in WISNIFG that answer your question.

SBIII · 2022-11-26T14:00:05+00:00

STFU means what it says on the tin - you just shut the fuck up instead of spewing shit out of your mouth.

If you talk the same way you write, there's very little hope for you.

AlohaMaui808 · 2022-11-26T16:15:29+00:00

You have multiple great answers now that cover just about every angle on why people don't STFU.

Mods should lock this thread so that you can practice what you suck at

These-Yak9531 · 2022-11-26T14:23:57+00:00

What is the "talk about the relationship" trap once again after she kept pushing ? Answering this could help give a context .

SodHawk · 2022-11-27T00:31:35+00:00

Why lot word few do

Rifleshoot · 2022-11-27T03:24:50+00:00

Think about why STFU is recommended. One, it’s to prevent newbies from going Rambo and let them focus on getting their lives in order. The 2nd reason is even more important: it prevents you from going out of your way to TELL your wife how much better you are and now instead lets you SHOW her. Talk is cheap, action is meaningful.

So when your wife wants to “talk about the relationship”, it is more foolish to run and hide from that conversation than it is to entertain it, think about what you want to say/divulge and then do it. The fact that she apparently wants to talk about it seems like a good sign to me. If a woman has given up, the last thing she wants to do is discuss things with the beta.

With the limited info available, I would say you are moving from the “learning stage” of RP and into the action stage. If you are at a point where you are thinking about rereading material, then you’ve done enough studying, it’s time to actually put it into practice. Game your wife. That’s part of what you came here for, remember?

Don’t stop lifting, don’t stop building the life that you want to have, but remember that your goal is to find a way to fit your wife in that life. And STFU is not a leadership strategy, it’s a risk mitigation measure for newbies. So now the actual hard work begins, which is learning how to be a good leader. Volumes have been written on the subject, both good and bad. People study leadership as an entire discipline, trying to understand it. Some are born with the ability, some go to great lengths to learn it. Every man has some innate desire to view himself as a leader and marriage is the way in which every man can satisfy that inner desire if he wills it. So evaluate yourself. If you’ve done the work, lost the weight, built the muscle, built the life, then it’s time to start bringing your wife into the fold. If you aren’t confident in your own ability to lead, then do some research into leadership. Rereading material on how not to be a beta is going to have diminishing returns.

SelectAirline · 2022-11-27T04:22:29+00:00

What part of the betaization process makes me so prone to giving in to such requests?

You're a validation seeking pussy. You're afraid of your wife's emotions, and you're also hopelessly dependent upon her approval. You don't need to read another 150,000 words on conversational techniques. You need to stop giving so many fucks what your wife thinks about it when you choose not to engage in a conversation.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-11-27T04:42:10+00:00

Why are you seeking the why so much? One day, when you’ve learned STFU, how women are, and who you are, then worry about the why if you want.

If we explained the why, you wouldn’t grasp it.

Why is STFU so hard? (honest question)

My question to the MRP Veterans is:

Comments

Title	Why is STFU so hard? (honest question)
Author	Few-Tree-9946
Upvotes	17
Comments	39
Date	November 26, 2022 1:56 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/z584gn/why_is_stfu_so_hard_honest_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/why-is-stfu-so-hard-honest-question.1141804 https://theredarchive.com/post/1141804