Any solid advice on the LMR text?

Crurple · 2018-06-04T15:07:22+00:00

All I’d say is “all I’m looking to do is hangout and watch a movie, if that’s not for you, no problem.”

Morphs_ · 2018-06-04T16:20:37+00:00

Reframe it as if she's the one looking for sex: I expect to watch a movie while chilling hard, so don't get any weird things in your head.

It's essentially a question for some possible deniability. The opportunity of sex must never be a given beforehand. It must happen spontaneously, even if the guy has to plan it all out.

jb_trp · 2018-06-04T16:20:49+00:00

Often chicks say this because they've been pumped-and-dumped too many times, and even though words like this mean exactly fuck-all before you're alone in a room with someone, they want to try to get you to hint about commitment before you've even vet them as a decent LTR.

The problem with these women is that they're playing SlutGame^TM and it doesn't work. A slut isn't a woman who sleeps with a lot of dudes; it's a woman who doesn't have any real qualities that would make a high-value man want to commit to her, but deludes herself into thinking that sex is enough to procure commitment (hint: it's not). Her sleeping with a lot of dudes is only a symptom, not the problem itself per se. These dudes hook up with her, but aren't interested in sticking around. And this happens over and over.

Sometimes I like the pressure flip: "Wait... You're thinking about hooking up with me already?" It gives me a good chuckle.

If a girl doesn't want to come over straight to your place and says, "Maybe we should go somewhere instead?" This isn't the end of the world, I'll often go along with it, and pick a place near by house or hers for drinks, then if meeting up goes well, go somewhere alone.

Phoenixston · 2018-06-04T15:14:22+00:00

Tips/Advice:

Don’t accept the premise of the question/statement.
Re-frame the question/statement.
Give her some plausible deniability so she doesn’t sound like a slut when she tells her friends (e.g similar type of reason you’d give if you went out first and wanted her to come home with you).

yumyumgivemesome · 2018-06-04T18:44:46+00:00

"I'll be putting up a pillow wall between us so I can watch the movie in peace, just in case you get any naughty ideas." And depending on whether she's the type of role-playing girl who writes longer texts, you can add "Just make sure you're ready for the pillow fight at intermission."

Peter_B_Long · 2018-06-04T17:33:20+00:00

Something like, "nothing is gonna happen that you don't want to happen" if it's a comfort test. If it's a shit test, say something like, "Low key I just can't watch scary movies alone".

Me personally though I don't invite girls straight to my place for the first fuck. I just don't have that much sauce. I'll probably tell them to drive to my place and then I'll drive us to grab a drink or go to a drive in movie or something. I'll escalate when we're out and get her more attracted and turned on. Then, I'll shift the venue to my place. "Hey I have some drinks back at my place" / "I bet you suck at Mario Kart, I have the game at my place if you think you can prove me wrong" / "Let's watch a movie back at my place and hold hands"

Then of course after the first fuck, I'll invite them straight to my place. I invited a new plate over this weekend and she said, "Hey what are we gonna be doing?" and I said "eat ice cream and hold hands"

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-06-04T18:02:28+00:00

Its not lmr. Its antislut defense thats up constantly. There is no lmr text. Lmr is when girl is already at your place and lmr can take 10min to couple of hours.

cl3537 · 2018-06-04T20:44:09+00:00

One of my first posts on this site was on this very topic. The mistake I made was to get boxed in and making it combative.

I ended up cancelling a date with a girl "who told me she just wanted to go out as friends", not just for that reason but there were others as well.

I regretted this decision and my response to her as well.

Don't make it awkward or combative and don't make 'you holding frame' and communicating that the most important thing.

"I just wanted to take a cute girl out for a drink and get to know each other better" that works and is relatively benign.

"Sure Friend, First round is on you" is okay as well.

The point is to get her to agree to go out with you and be flexible, not blow up the meet because you refuse to enter that "no hookup" frame.

Really when a girl tells you this she is really saying it to herself. You are going to do what you wanted no matter what. You will escalate as far as she lets you and you will be flirtatious and use innuendo.

What you aren't going to do is sit on your hands because she told you 'no hooking up' you really should just say whatever you gotta say to get her to go out with you and act as if it was never said.

The WORST thing you can do is sit on your hands because she told you no hookups.

Second worse is the pressure flip where you act cocky over text, for me that never works as it is in-congruent with my style and general behavior. If when I met her I was a cocky asshole that might work but that isn't my game and I find that works much better in person.

chazthundergut · 2018-06-04T19:58:48+00:00

Unless you are superchad, you need to give her hamster enough room to move around and give herself permission to fuck you. Most guys are not gonna succeed if they're just totally up front and say you just want sex. Give her an excuse to have sex.

But also you should not be telling her what your expectations are up front the way she wants you to. Let her be the one to do that. Keep it vague, and hint that you are in fact open to a relationship, but it's gotta be the right girl and there needs to be chemistry.

Your best bet is to flip it around and force her hand. The same way she doesn't want to get boxed in as a chick you're just fucking, you also should avoid getting boxed in to a guy who she's not gonna fuck. So leave the possibility of more on the table, but make it clear that you're not looking for a platonic relationship (in other words, she needs to know that you're a man who requires sex as a baseline to be involved with a chick, and you're unwilling to give her your time and validation if she's not giving you her pussy)

“hey idk what the expectations are but are you just looking to hookup?”

I'm not "just" looking to hook up, but I'm not interested in just hanging out as friends either. So if that's what you're looking for then I'm not the right guy.

“If you’re looking for a hookup only then I might not be the girl for you”

If you're just looking for a nonsexual friend then I'm definitely not the right guy for you.

“Maybe we should go somewhere instead?”

You wanna get dinner first? (if this is the first date, then invite her out for drinks)

arcsector2 · 2018-06-04T14:55:43+00:00

Double down. "If you weren't looking for a hookup, then you wouldnt be talking to me right now."

Alternatively as a push: "If you are having doubts before even meeting me, maybe you aren't the right girl for me."

Title	Any solid advice on the LMR text?
Author	JerryLawlerPigFace
Upvotes	22
Comments	24
Date	June 4, 2018 2:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ohtig/any_solid_advice_on_the_lmr_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/any-solid-advice-on-the-lmr-text.99151 https://theredarchive.com/post/99151

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