Don't ask for commitment!

Stories_of_Red · 2015-11-11T15:44:59+00:00

If she apologizes for loosing it, shall I just "ok, now get the fuck over here and make it up to me"?

Let's be clear on what you are doing: you are posting on reddit, trying to get help with your ongoing attempt to LTR a woman who is clearly not a good candidate for that. Rather than seek the next step in your early-stage train wreck of commitment to this woman, how about taking your hand off the accelerator, finding the brake, and start getting your self-control back?

Let her contact you. If she apologizes, ignore it, and do whatever the hell you want. Want to see her? See her. Have something else to do? Do it. Etc. You are making everything a response to her, rather than simply going about your agenda. See the problem? You need to be focused on the right things. Focusing on her is not the right thing.

falafin · 2015-11-11T16:04:01+00:00

Red Flags: Alpha widow, lives with parents at 27, all of her ex's were "crazy", fully hooked up with her female best friend, she asks me for sexy pics before we even hooked up, considered being a stripper although decided not too.

and then you say you want LTR with her?

well let me ask you a question, do you want to ruin your life or something? there are better and easier ways to do that

wehadtosaydickety · 2015-11-11T15:48:27+00:00

Abort. Abort. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up.

UndergroundRP · 2015-11-11T16:06:52+00:00

So, she said no?

bertmaklinFBI · 2015-11-11T20:46:12+00:00

Considering I actually wanted an LTR what's your take?

Bro, way too fast, way too furious. As others have said obviously the woman should be the one pushing for exclusivity. Abundance mentality means you don't care if she is around or not. You are the gatekeeper of relationships. You let your number 1 card go in the first round so to speak.

If she had the tingles it was have been an easy yes, no?

Tingles and "Commitment Tingles" would be two different categories. She is fucking you so she has tingles however she was not ready to commit. Sounds like she is having too much fun "exploring herself".

2 months into dating, 7th date, trying to lock her down. Ask her to get serious, but she's not ready yet. Say goodbye, give her no hug or eye contact, she hugs me and is on her way.

This is how you should have ended it (I am sure you know that). She would have been back. Texting her after fucked it up. Chalk this up as an L and learning experience.

secret_barber · 2015-11-11T17:46:26+00:00

The man never suggests an increase to commitment. That is the woman's role. If she isn't suggesting it, she isn't interested.

How to establish a LTR properly: you date her and others, she stops dating others, she get jealous of your attention, she makes sure you know she isn't seeing anyone else, she insists you stop seeing others and THEN you (finally) agree to commit, but with clear and specific conditions to what that means.

mrprm · 2015-11-11T20:38:03+00:00

You have a serious case of oneitis with this girl. Especially if your other claims in this comment thread are true.

RedPillJax · 2015-11-11T21:41:54+00:00

Red Flags: Alpha widow, lives with parents at 27, all of her ex's were "crazy", fully hooked up with her female best friend, she asks me for sexy pics before we even hooked up, considered being a stripper although decided not too.

2 months into dating, 7th date, trying to lock her down.

Am I missing something here? A girl with those red flags, especially the 'considering stripping' thing are enough red flags to be seen from the moon.

Extreme beta warning: I called her shortly after. She didn't pick up but texts me back (huge flag). I said I need to know if there's a future, or we should stop dating (such a pussy). The lays into me about pushing her and rushing, puts words into my mouth, takes no personal responsibility, normal womanly behavior. Tell her I don't appreciate her jumping down my throat. A few more texts from her saying the same shit and then good night. No response from me.

Well, at least you're calling a spade a spade. No guy is going to be 100% flawless in his execution all the time, so at least you see and understand why what you did was wrong. Best bet is to learn the lesson and work on it for next time.

Considering I actually wanted an LTR what's your take? If she had the tingles it was have been an easy yes, no?

Well, you clearly want an LTR with a woman who just isn't good material for an LTR, so I'm going to still go with she did you a favour by saying no. But to answer your questions, yeah. She should be the one pushing for commitment the same way guys are the ones who push for sex. If she's not pushing for it and you're still fucking her, well - you're her plate. I'm cool with that a lot of the time, but some circumstances are different - and clearly you weren't cool with that because you had feelings. There's nothing wrong with that either inherently.

If she apologizes for loosing it, shall I just "ok, now get the fuck over here and make it up to me"?

Sure. Enjoy being plated if you can handle it without her turning you into a oneitis-ridden beta supplicator. Fuck her, wrap it up, and enjoy a good thing while you've got it.

Title	Don't ask for commitment!
Author	BeyondDedication
Upvotes	2
Comments	28
Date	November 11, 2015 3:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3seyfe/dont_ask_for_commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dont-ask-for-commitment.156442 https://theredarchive.com/post/156442

Comments