Girlfriend texting another guy

bluepillcarl · 2017-12-25T21:11:15+00:00

It isn't rash at all. Don't put up with that shit. How many girls don't text back? She's texting back lol.. End that shit now before you regret it later

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-12-25T21:49:12+00:00

Girlfriend

You spelled "ex-girlfriend" wrong.

FuckboyAWALT · 2017-12-25T21:36:09+00:00

she initiated...

Aaaaaand she just scored at least a soft next. She’s texting a different guy, hasn’t told you about it and thinks it’s okay, boy you gotta set some boundaries and show her disrespectful behavior has consequences.

What I want to do...

Don‘t. You do not communicate. You do not communicate. You do not communicate. You show her by actions what you tolerate and what not.

However if you want the full shit show do what you wanted to do and tell her what you think, she is gonna turn everything against you and make you look like a paranoid, controlling freak, in the end you feel guilty for thinking she did something wrong because writing with a different guy at night while being drunk is totally acceptable and tolerable. She just had a little chat with different cock.

Since you spent 1 year of your time and energy on this bitch I wouldn’t hard next her immediately however since trp advocates you should have back up girls.

Remember the day you met her is the day you lost her.

MattyAnon · 2017-12-25T23:53:40+00:00

"do you think it's ok to text another guy the way you have while you're in a relationship?"

You are trying to work it out with her. You want her to apologise.

Won't work. You know what she'll say: "it was nothing", and "yes it's fine if it's just a friend".

I refuse to be a guy she believes she can do this to, regardless of how she treats me personally.

But you ARE this guy, because she's still around.

e. I'd like, obviously because a year has been invested,

No. You've had a year together, but it's not an investment in any way.

but I am more prepared to cut her off right now. I didn't want to be rash, which is why you're reading this now

The only thing you can do is tell her "it's not acceptable to give guys your number. Don't do it". When she says "but what if it's just friends" you say "You know what I mean. don't do it".

If she agrees great. If she doesn't, you have your answer: demote to FWB.

dontbedenied · 2017-12-26T00:34:14+00:00

I'd like, obviously because a year has been invested, for her to drop everything, but I am more prepared to cut her off right now.

Sunk Cost Fallacy.

Look at it another way: you could stick around longer, wait for her to REALLY disrespect you, and wish you could have all of that time back.

Do you want to make a commitment to a girl who texts other guys at 3:00 in the morning? I don't.

creating_my_life · 2017-12-25T22:50:06+00:00

You can't control her, you can only control you. Remember this.

Do you know what you can control? Who your girlfriend is. And how awesome you are. I'm guessing since she doesn't give a shit about losing you, you still have room to improve your Awesome Score. So get to work.

The correct thing to do is not explain to her why you're ending the relationship. That's a bit mean and spiteful, because it won't give her closure and her hamster will go crazy.

If you MUST explain something, the most you need to say is, "My girlfriend doesn't text other men in the middle of the night." And notice how this is an "I" statement and not a "you" statement. You're stating a fact about yourself, nobody can argue that or change that.

Ninokun · 2017-12-26T01:55:07+00:00

Friday night she went out with her girlfriend and got drunk well into 3 am.

GuitarHero07 · 2017-12-25T22:58:22+00:00

What was she talking about with this guy? The default answer here seems to be “dump the bitch” but I think we need more context. You mentioned that there didn’t seem to be interest on her part. It’s also interesting that she didn’t hide the phone. Is she setting up a branch swing? Using this guy as a backup plan or is she just being friendly?

Any attractive girl is going to have orbiters. It’s just a fact of life that a lot of guys would want to get in her pants. Unless you’re going to make her wear a veil and never let her leave the house without a male chaperone, she’s going to interact with men who would love to steal her from you. The question is how she responds to this inevitable male attention. Talking to other dudes doesn’t necessarily mean she is seriously considering banging them.

If you noticed flirty messaging or any mutual sexual tension in the texts it’s a cause for concern. If it’s just another chump trying to sneak his way into her pants I wouldn’t be too concerned as long as she is keeping him at a safe distance.

nastynickdr · 2017-12-25T21:57:38+00:00

Not GF material, no matter how much you hamster.

MusicSports · 2017-12-26T07:28:32+00:00

"My girlfriend drunk texted a guy at 3AM and she initiated the conversation. He is intimate with her enough to be saying goodnight over text. How do I rationalize this so that it's less than obvious what's going on?"

Come on dude who the hell is texting have pleasant dreams to a girl at 3AM. Girls don't even say goodnight to their best friends at midnight. Minimum soft next for the majority of the week.

nofilmynofucky · 2017-12-25T21:20:44+00:00

She's setting up to branch swing or at the very least cheat. personally I'd dump her immediately

iAMTinman_Dealwithit · 2017-12-25T21:39:44+00:00

It's done man. Sorry you had to see that shit. Generally, I not one for checking phones. If you're needing to do that - you're looking for a reason. If it gets to that trust in already gone. Have and beer, lament if you need to for like 2 seconds, and start rolling again.

Even if yall got back together, you're not going to want to have that in the back of your mind. Crazy thing too - she'll probably start accusing you of cheating(make herself feel better), even though you did nothing all.

walawalawa · 2017-12-26T01:58:07+00:00

Happened to me...twice.

I mishandled it by calling the girl out: bad idea.

They get defensive and it triggers in them a turn-off.

In the second case it was a plate who was chasing after my friends in a bid to create some jealousy plotline.

After consulting this board I stopped calling the girl out on it.

I just focused my attention on banging other plates until finally she pulled some additional crap and I hard nexted her walking away and haven't spoken to her or looked at her in a year.

I also had to cut the guys out of my life.

TL;Dr: too much drama ensued and when I cut her out...it was so much simpler.

Now if a plate does crap like this I don't say anything...I just disappear. You should too.

The problem is you're wayyyyy to invested in this girl and she doesn't give a shit.

AshyLarry27 · 2017-12-25T22:02:05+00:00

At the end of the day, just remember, "she's not your's, it is just your turn."

Say what you will about dread, I would distance myself from her more. See if she senses it. If no reaction, begin giving out branches for other girls to grab. You need to put yourself in the mentality it could be done.

chazthundergut · 2017-12-26T08:13:11+00:00

Don't talk to her about it. You have nothing to gain, and lots of frame and self-respect to lose.

Demote her to plate. She is not LTR material. Sorry dude.

alexwan12 · 2017-12-25T21:49:00+00:00

NEXT -->

catalisto · 2017-12-26T05:31:12+00:00

Demote ex-gf to dog shit.

kregsslauggteepla · 2017-12-26T13:03:16+00:00

You think you are about to dump her

You are wrong. She’s ALREADY dumped you

kimchi-22 · 2017-12-29T01:08:29+00:00

I wouldn't help OP, as he seems to have personal issues and is aggressive towards other readers for no good reason.

you're one testy prick, aren't you?

why did you delete your other unwarranted comment in my thread?

maybe your gf got tired of your shitty character if you feel the need to randomly come up to my thread and try to insult me?

You seem to have issues.

Here are the post that you deleted rather quickly, what are you so afraid of? That other readers can see what kind of a prick you are?

Luckily, there's reddit undelete:

When i ask for help all of ask trp with several endorsed contributors help me. When you ask, nobody gives a shit. (c) firewelt

Ur not gonna get A virgin girl give up loser.

(c) firewelt

hellprince7 · 2017-12-26T10:57:00+00:00

Don't engage with her at this point,

Pretend as if everything's the same, see how far she goes with this shit.

Start being detached and indifferent to her,

TryhardPantiesON · 2017-12-26T17:52:15+00:00

What i want to do is flat out ask her "do you think it's ok to text another guy the way you have while you're in a relationship?" Then tell her to go home.

Don't ask, you are leaving room for her to justify her behavior, be direct, "Baby, I don't like you texting other dudes, I want you to stop this inmediately", she will probably drop some crocodile tears, and say how you are oppressive to her, but don't be fooled by this, just state your boundary and if she doesn't respect it, she is out.

aDrunkenWhaler · 2017-12-25T21:12:23+00:00

I don’t have any advice for you but does she act the same as she’s always acted? Does she seem to love you a lot and seem very loyal? Curious for my own relationship

AshyBoneVR4 · 2017-12-26T07:27:59+00:00

Break up with her if it's bothering you. Otherwise talk to her. Let her know it bothers you as much as it does. If she keeps doing it, or hides the fact that she's doing it, and you find out, break up. End of story.

Mofis · 2017-12-26T14:01:39+00:00

You are 100% right.

chim_city · 2017-12-26T14:10:39+00:00

Man I'm glad you found TRP.

liberty1127 · 2017-12-26T15:27:24+00:00

Its over dummy. Don't deny it.

juliusstreicher · 2017-12-26T22:32:37+00:00

In this kind of circumstance, I am 100% in favor of an immediate hard or soft next. That being said, I always think that it may be advantageous to 1. Immediately demote her to FWB or plate...without her knowing it and 2. Start taking her out a LOT in public (cheap places) so that other chicks can see you with another babe for some preselection.

11-Eleven-11 · 2017-12-26T05:01:13+00:00

Only read the title. Dump her.

yeahnahimgood · 2017-12-25T22:00:55+00:00

Can we all at least agree that texting another male, even on 3 AM, is not necessarily in a sexual context 100% of the times?

I’m not saying you should listen to her bs, but I would at least verify it’s not like a cousin or some gay “girlfriend” or some plausible shit like that.

In any other case I agree with everyone here, ghost.

justicecantakeanap · 2017-12-26T01:13:40+00:00

Girlfriend texting another guy

Comments

I wouldn't help OP, as he seems to have personal issues and is aggressive towards other readers for no good reason.

Wouldn't help OP, as he seems to have personal issues and is aggressive towards other readers for no good reason.

Title	Girlfriend texting another guy
Author	firewelt
Upvotes	50
Comments	57
Date	December 25, 2017 8:59 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7m3jlk/girlfriend_texting_another_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-texting-another-guy.566 https://theredarchive.com/post/566