So, for context, I've been in one relationship...and I'm mid-30s.

Yeah.

Met my wife when I was a teenager and have been married for around 15 years. About a year ago I realized my marriage was absolute shit and my wife didn't love me (thank you trp).

Fast forward to today: - Been lifting for around a year - Lost a bunch of weight and actually look halfway decent now - Been separated for several months - divorce is now a certainty - Have now gone on my first three dates of my life that were not with my wife... - Still have not slept with a girl other than my wife...you read that correctly, my notch count is 1.

TRP makes so much sense to me. Having said that, I struggle with the practical side of things. For example:

Tonight was my second date with this chick.

1st date: I didn't think the first date went that well. She's cute, but not hot and she didn't seem super into me. There was some kissing, but nothing beyond that. She taught me a couple dance steps on the date and I told her I could teach her some guitar. At the end of the date I invited her to come back to my place to learn a little guitar and she declined. No big deal (thank you trp). I just chalked it up as an L and went on my merry way. She messaged me later in the week basically asking for another date - "when are you going to teach me guitar?" Well, I think we all know what "teaching guitar" means. I set up a second date at my place, at night, and told her to bring wine.

2nd date (tonight): She shows up on time wearing a dress, with wine, and is carrying a small bag. I assume this is some kind of overnight/fuck essentials bag. I take this as a good sign. She had managed to get me to agree to cook dinner and so I do that right off the bat making her help me. There is good kino - I'm kissing her when I want and touching her.

Dinner is now done and then she announces she already ate. da fuck? Oh yeah, I remember, listen to what they do, not what they say. A date late at night after dinner time is not really going to include dinner. Dinner must have just been a plausible deniability thing to get into my house without looking like a slut. And I'm the chump who waited to eat and then cooked a damn dinner.

After I eat a little bit while she awkwardly watches I then decide to actually teach her about guitar using her body to represent the guitar. This goes pretty well and I've got my hands under her skirt, under her thong, and pretty much anywhere I want. Dress is like fort knox though and I can't easily get to her tits (this is what happens when all you're up against for your entire adult life is t-shirts and sweatpants). I notice that although she is letting me touch her just about anywhere she is not really reciprocating much.

Eventually she asks when we're going to make music and I say "right now", pick her up, and carry her upstairs to my bed. While it is easy from a strength perspective (thank you lifting and thank you trp, and thank you girl for not being a fat cow like my wife), I realize that mixing in a little more cardio might not be a bad idea as I am now slightly winded.

I couldn't get her goddamn dress off and I didn't want to look like a fool so I kinda stopped trying. She is also starting to employ some ASD which I recognize (thanks again TRP). She says it's a bad idea and that she is leaving. I tell her to go ahead, but to get me some more wine first. She disappears downstairs and I'm fully expecting her to come back up. After several minutes I start to think she's not coming, but she does. She walks in, hands me my phone, tells me I can call my other hoes, and says she's leaving. I pull her back onto the bed but she seems like she's resisting this time so I let her go.

She goes downstairs and this time I follow after a minute or two. She's putting on her shoes and says goodbye. I say, cya later.

I feel confident that I did not act butthurt about her leaving although to be honest I'm pissed right now that I didn't get some ass out of the deal. I think I didn't escalate quickly enough and came off as too inexperienced and too much of a chump, but who the hell knows. I've got a date lined up with another chick for tomorrow so I guess I'll just try again.

TRP, I need your help.