How do guys rationalize feeling good about having "mediocre bodies" and being "slackers"?

needless_pickup_line · 2017-05-09T05:04:35+00:00

Would you rather have one cookie now, or two cookies in an hour? Easy choice to wait it out. How about one cookie now or two cookies next year? Much different.

Hard work is...hard. Diet and exercise don't have immediately tangible benefits, but you can enjoy a bag of chips this minute.

Logically we all know that it would be better to be in shape, but that's an experience outside the frame of reference for these guys. They can only imagine it in the abstract. The only aspects they're familiar with are the negative ones.

They diet and exercise for a week or a day and feel terrible, and associate that with fitness. Which is true enough. But they never see the benefit: the rush of a woman feeling your body with desire, the glow of confidence, the freedom of a body without excess.

If 2 hours in the gym could give you abs for a week, those guys would be in there like clockwork. But since diet and exercise has no immediate payoff all they see is the hard work for no gain. That can never compete with the burger, milkshake, and Netflix marathon. Which they can have right now.

Dunkaroose · 2017-05-09T03:29:04+00:00

I think you're in the wrong sub mate. Almost 95% of all guys on TRP preach lifting. It's pretty much a staple here in terms of building confidence. If you're referring to the general public, it's because of general laziness. People are getting fatter through generations through poor eating habits and we are become more accepting as a society. Being skinny fat is now the norm among men, and unless you want to be top 20% (which is our ultimate goal as a TRP male) then you're not going to get there without it.

_the_shape_ · 2017-05-09T04:07:44+00:00

A couple reasons (not exhaustive) off the top of my head:

poor or no mentorship: no one's ever pulled them aside and explained what should be rather obvious, but clearly isn't: that the benefits of lifting or at least being in great physical shape are numerous and far exceed any 'costs' (ex. muscle soreness)
feminism/pc culture: directly or indirectly, they've been led to equate lifting, muscularity, a chiseled physique etc. as examples of "toxic masculinity" or (as you observed) unmistakable signs reflecting personal dissatisfaction. Only a tormented, insecure narcissist or a misogynist would prioritize the gym.
"water seeks its own level": mediocrity sees mediocrity, majority aspiring to (continue) being exactly that - mediocre. The few stand out (as always is the case), but it's easy to ridicule and laugh at them ("that guy is so full of himself. Ughh") when everyone else also has a dad bod. If not mockery, then it's written off in some other way in order to relieve oneself of the burden of inaction ("I could never do that", "what's the point? we're going to die anyway", "I don't have time for that")

WhorehouseVet · 2017-05-09T08:42:23+00:00

Lots of "crabs in a bucket" mentality. Basically some people feel fitting in is a much better option than to better himself.

Don't forget the "just be yourself" bullshit. It's aimed to keep most men as mediocre, because if you buy into it, then you're thinking a hb9 will come along even though you spent countless hours on video games. It's used by women to weed out those who don't understand the message, ie be yourself when you're Chad.

g4casting · 2017-05-09T11:00:49+00:00

Some people literally don't give a shit too. It's a pretty alpha trait inmy eyes actually.

I have an old friend who is passionate about web design and music. That's all his energy is driven towards, he has goals, he works towards them, creates stuff etc. Doesn't give much thought to how his body looks at all. Only cares about his clothes and his beard.

I don't see that in a negative light at all. In fact he's more of an alpha than I am because he has a mission and everyone sees that it's his priority in life. So some people simply don't have enough fucks to give because they care so much about other things

SexySmexxy · 2017-05-09T14:15:56+00:00

What are you talking about?

In your own post, literally the first few lines you say... "I was lacking on it for being lazy".

So what you're saying is that now you have decided to improve, you're wondering why the time you chose wasn't the same time everybody else chose to improve?

The answer to your question is the same answer you told yourself years before you decided to finally improve.

Who the fuck do you think you are exactly?

asktrpthrow123 · 2017-05-09T16:07:34+00:00

What's funny is lifting is probably the easiest method of setting yourself apart from the crowd and being above average. It's one of the few things where you're literally guaranteed results if you put in the work. Same can't be said about starting a business for example.

DiggerClam · 2017-05-09T03:49:02+00:00

He looks like.... a bear?

shitwiththatass · 2017-05-09T03:49:08+00:00

I get what you mean. I've been there. They either don't know the consequence lifting brings or something is keeping them from having enough energy to develope discipline.

JinSantosAndria · 2017-05-09T12:03:00+00:00

It's the easy way. You stop improving yourself. Next thing is the stuff around you, just stop improving that. Be content, tell yourself thats it, settle with it. It's a mindset that you can live easily. Until the stuff, that you no longer have under control, breaks down. You get diabetes. Your wife divorces. Your kid dies. You loose your job. You have to fire all employees.

It's important that you notice those mindsets because they also have a very specific way to interact with you. Most of those persons try not to improve the interaction. They pretend to be happy with what happens right now, no pressure, no goal. Maybe you end up drinking something later with those guys. Maybe not. It's the stuff you already forgot three days later because none of those told stories is of you or has anything to do with you.

Never make the mistake of thinking your boss is equal to you. He will never be. Even if he gets paid less than you. It just means he chooses every day to be in the office, despite hiring other people to do his job, like your slacking person. He could just stay at home and delegate. It just means he has to pay you all, pay the bills, the location, the utilities. Every day he comes in is a day he improves: His company, bonds with employees and customers. He utilizes the stuff he pays for and your little wage will never compensate the monetary growth that is coupled with that, even after all the expanses. You in contrast can just get fired, good luck with that.

Running your own business, esp. with employees, is taxing. Not many people have the mindset for it and most people add bad habbits to cope with the unknown/new stress factors. So he choose to skip ahead and settle with the relationship-part, bad for him. I know enough people that do crossfit every morning and still run their 20+ people companies without fail, improving every aspect of their life every day.

YongeArcade · 2017-05-09T12:42:04+00:00

Ah. You are asking along the lines of BF Skinner in Behaviorism. Or Nature vs Nurture

Nature/ instinct - To have a mate(s) with the best genes, procreate, survive and succeed. So not only you but your offspring will better able to survive and succeed.

Nature / instinct #2 -- Fit masculine men are more sexually attractive, seen as better leaders, get more sales and are get treated better in society. ( there are studies showing this)

So why don't all men become more fit and masculine? Shouldn't all men have a drive to become fit to succeed ? But instead hobble themselves with ...

Nurture / Conditioning : Being fat.

How did this happen ? Why are they so blind to the obvious and hobble themselves and be counter productive to their instinctive needs and drives?

As u/WhorehouseVet said. That people have a need to fit in and not stand out, to belong to a group / society. So belonging is over eating with everyone else and eating fast food all the time because TV commercials conditioned him too.

-- When I was losing weight I lost friends over ... McDonalds. I refused to just "go along" and instead of buying all the goodies I would buy the single burger and a small coke. They tried to shame with comments of my "poverty meal" and tried hard to get me to eat the same as they did. I didn't and the stress ( on their part) it produce was annoying . I once took them to a place where I wanted to eat. A Chinese ( real Chinese) restaurant, lots of vegetables and rice and BBQ pork. They acted like fat 5 year olds , whined about everything. Mostly that is not like North American Chinese food , ie everything deep fried and covered in thick sweet and sour sauce. That they were some how "cheated" by all the vegetables and rice. They even threw food.

Most people would not stand up for themselves and would cave in and be like their friends. I wanted to be fit more than I was afraid to rock the boat. In the end they made the choice not to be my friend, nothing that I did. A petty argument and they stomped off saying they will never speak to me again.

But back to your question.

As you point out that they try and compensate, "Conspicuous Consumption" of flashy cars and money or lavishing gifts on a woman. This sometimes works with some women because it taps into her feeling of security and social climbing, being at the place of comfort that she thinks she belongs at. So the expensive restaurant, the flashy car, the yacht. Will dampen down her repulsion of his naked body.

Also why it is usually only one way. IE Fat old man / young good looking woman. Rarely a fat old woman / young man. Because with some KY and acting a woman can fake enjoying sex. You can not fake getting an erection.

Edit: This is the problem of the Red Pill. You see things clearly and do not understand why other people can't see the obvious. It is conditioning / society / commercials on TV / feminization of schools and the workplace / people afraid to stand out or take a chance that is making them they way they are .

You've broken the conditioning / you want to stand out / you reject the feminist poison / etc. So they are baffling to you those who choose to remain beta -- or think that is the only way to be.

They are as baffling to us as they are to you

IVIaskerade · 2017-05-09T12:44:00+00:00

I see a huge amount of guys who seem to be ok with staying "mediocre"

Because change is haaaaaaard

TheRedStoic · 2017-05-09T15:19:31+00:00

Chemically? The limbic brain doesn't like it. It wants dopamine fucking now. The frontal lobe can't override if you don't give it a chance to.

Culturally? Instant gratification + safe and cheap society = no discipline.

Physically? Mix of both above plus lack of physical requirements for jobs, looking good is now an option, not a tangentially caused benefit from necessity for production.

Mentorship? Too many blupees and single moms for strong male role models. No one forces you (while young) to learn of the exponential payout of discipline.

Socially? Crab barrel en masse. (Don't you dare get better or else I have a living testament that failure is my fault)

That about sums it up I think.

Iguessthisismynameno · 2017-05-09T18:00:50+00:00

Distraction.

Booze, drugs, Netflix, video games etc - why think about reality when you can just escape for a while?

DeusVultRightNow · 2017-05-09T05:49:17+00:00

We aren't women. We actually work on ourselves here.

Title	How do guys rationalize feeling good about having "mediocre bodies" and being "slackers"?
Author	janex77
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	May 9, 2017 3:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6a2ycr/how_do_guys_rationalize_feeling_good_about_having/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-guys-rationalize-feeling-good-about-having.90827 https://theredarchive.com/post/90827

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