How to de-escalate with aggressive guys without looking weak?

sleep24x7 · 2019-11-26T19:49:12+00:00

Apologize and step away. Disengage. Then, ignore.

Getting into a fight is never worth it. Swallow your pride/ego. Work on yourself and then move away from the shithole you’re in.

Having said that, learn self-defense, on the off-chance that you’re forced into a situation where there is no option but to fight back.

Better safe (and weak) than sorry (ending up in prison, killing someone or hurting yourself seriously). But, better alive than dead.

As for looking weak, if whoever you are with doesn’t understand that it is always dumb to fight on the street, they shouldn’t be anything more than a plate anyway.

ViolentInteger · 2019-11-26T18:54:26+00:00

For starters, if the place you live is this fucking shitty, the solution is to move. This doesn't happen in decent places.

Secondly, by apologizing for your mistakes, you've already taken steps to de-escalate. After that, if they act aggressively, say "There's no need to be upset. It was just a mistake." At that point, you've attempted to de-escalate twice with words. If that doesn't work, its unlikely anything else will. There's no more talking. They can have whatever meltdown they want while you silently watch; keep on the lookout for weapons.

If a person is acting aggressively and moves towards you, you're allowed to strike first in self defense. You don't need to eat the first punch in order to start defending yourself, because you might not be conscious afterwards. In fact, this is the rationale you'd tell the police if they show up.

Start planning on getting out of that area.

Coolguy1699 · 2019-11-26T18:03:38+00:00

Where the fuck do you live? Wtf is wrong with people

RockWalt · 2019-11-26T19:46:45+00:00

Yeah, when that happens you should not worry about what the girl thinks, rather what you have to do.

You should take boxing or any martial art, great exercise, but more importantly, when you are trained in combat you will be able to respond to this kind of situation without fear.

And when you are trained is very easy to dominate a fight without hurting the other party (too badly)

L3onard3 · 2019-11-26T21:39:23+00:00

Get in the weight room to the point where there is no question about who’s going to be backing down.

Kobinks · 2019-11-26T18:12:46+00:00

You can't.

You either call their bluff and smirk at them on the chance that they back down or you kick the fuck out of them.

Other people will tell you it's not worth it but in the end if you don't have your self respect what do you have?

It's that or look weak, you have to decide what's most important to you because you can't have both.

ChadTheWaiter100 · 2019-11-26T19:33:49+00:00

Where do you live? I’ve lived in and been to very ghetto areas and have never experienced this. Kind of sounds like you’re in high school with this type of behavior.

MotorsportEnthusiast · 2019-11-26T18:05:44+00:00

Just laugh it off like it’s no big deal. Holding frame 101.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2019-11-26T21:56:07+00:00

Maybe it's your tone with your "my bad". Some guys will straight up run into you and say that in a way that is worse than not saying anything at all. I know a few times I've gotten that from someone and it almost got their ass handed to them.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-11-26T22:12:09+00:00

First off, dont put yourself in places that has these types of people. Second, ask yourself "What positive gain is there for me?" If there is nothing to be gained and/or its just ego- move on. Say "my bad" like you do and confidently walk away. If they attack you, defend yourself as necessary.

smartfunction30 · 2019-11-26T23:08:03+00:00

I've noticed this with homeless people sometimes, they have to try really hard for respect considering they don't get respect entirely. But if you are polite to them then they are cool. But I just want everyone to feel good, man, if they say hi to me I'll say hi back. If they ask for money I'll say sorry man, I don't have any. But I don't know what I'd do if someone wanted to fight and I was like my bad, it's like they've selected you as a target, what are you going to do, you can't talk your way out, you can't allow stuff to continue? Truthfully I'd probably get scared and quivering and they'd probably be secure because they're lowlifes who are used to this thing whereas I try to not get in scrambles with people. Happenings like this really bewilder me, you can tell from looking who could flatten you without even caring, because they're used to it, they'd be alright and you'd be terrified, of course they would win. There is literally no hope for some people.

bitterconsultant · 2019-11-27T04:11:45+00:00

You say "Ummmm, okidoki then", roll your eyes with firmly closed lips, and leave. Then you look at your girl with smirk and say "I may be totally wrong but, was that guy hitting on me?"

FiveStarTendieDinner · 2019-11-27T04:26:01+00:00

Learn the way of the gun

EvelynnSpoiler · 2019-11-27T05:33:10+00:00

There's a hypnotist/NLP technique where you can completely stifle them by saying a random sentence.

Derren Brown uses something like "My wall isn't 6ft high". It completely disarms their brains and apparently you can even hypnotise people with it

GunTotingFarmer · 2019-11-27T06:25:51+00:00

Conceal carry

frognads · 2019-11-26T20:52:13+00:00

Laugh and say "I'm not gonna fight you old man!"

Since apparently you live in roidville, learn how to fight.

SpearOfOrion · 2019-11-26T23:19:35+00:00

A fight is never worth it unless you are defending like your loved ones. You can easily die in a street fight, or be debilitated for life, all it takes is one knock out and your head hitting the concrete. Even if you get away with only a concussion the symtpoms might linger for months or never go away completely.

thrwy75479 · 2019-11-26T19:25:29+00:00

Check out 23and1's video on how to get respect in prison. He also talks about how to handle disrespect.

He was in prison, and has some great content. Also, some of the tips can be modified to apply in life outside prison. Best tip: don't do someone else's time.

ValorElite · 2019-11-27T05:51:52+00:00

Where the fuck do you live? Russia?

Title	How to de-escalate with aggressive guys without looking weak?
Author	Ceanatis
Upvotes	11
Comments	41
Date	November 26, 2019 5:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e21ozn/how_to_deescalate_with_aggressive_guys_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-de-escalate-with-aggressive-guys-without.296732 https://theredarchive.com/post/296732

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