How to develop real confidence rather than episodes of ego-boost?

redlurker9 · 2017-09-25T08:39:50+00:00

Give time time.

rprodney · 2017-09-25T14:52:48+00:00

Genunie confidence comes from experience and actually knowing what you're capable of.

michasv · 2017-09-25T15:42:50+00:00

you need to know yourself. Self-reflection. you need to go through many different situations and be aware of your feelings and then investigate why did you felt this particular way in this particular situation. when you will do this you will start to understand yourself better (connecting to yourself on a deep level) your self-esteem will go higher because you feel empathy for the ones you connect with including yourself, and courage to do more stuff and confidence is a function of how many times you did something and learned from the experience. don't think that if you don't have too much confidence = bad. because if you didn't do something then you shouldn't even have confidence in doing this. but you do need to have the courage to start doing, fail, and then keep doing it again until you'll gain some experience.

most of the fears people have stems from potential self hate due to failure, but when you treating yourself with kindness & empathy then you lower the potential for self hate even if shit will go wrong so you start to feel ballsy. it all comes down to treating yourself better. not even confidence. self esteem is the key. confidence comes with experience only

sir_shitfuck · 2017-09-26T04:45:15+00:00

Meditation man. Mindfulness. Just get used to LIVING from your reality.

Also cut out the excessive social media, stop looking to other people. Stop reading other people's bullshit and go inside yourself.

1Pink1Stink · 2017-09-25T07:31:45+00:00

Confidence is knowledge.

RedHoodhandles · 2017-09-25T11:29:47+00:00

Real confidence is not having to feel the need to be above others while at the same time not minding to be below others as long as the situation ensures a better outcome for you (this is seldom). The often quoted IDGAF doesn't mean that you don't give a fuck about anything. It means that you give a fuck about the things that are important to you AND that lie 100% in your control.

WISE_TURD · 2017-09-25T12:53:58+00:00

Failure will accelerate your learning.

That's how pua bootcamps work (i've never done one, but i'm almost certain that's how it works). They force you to do approach after approach over the course of a few days. Granted I'm assuming they provide some feedback as to why you failed after each time.

Instead of doing a pua bootcamp, try this: - Read or listen to "models" by mark manson 3 times. This will give you an answer key as to why you fail when you do. Failing a test in school is only beneficial when you go back and understand why you were wrong. Same thing applies here. Extra points if you put ten major points that you find helpful in the notes section of your phone just in case you have no idea why the chick wasn't feeling it.

-You and a buddy (or go solo) should a take weekend trip to a big city that you don't live in (nyc or chi would probably be best in you're in the us) and approach women the entire time. Go on songkick and get tickets to a show one of the nights, might want to drink some coffee beforehand so you don't get tired (take a crap at home if it has this effect on you), get there 15-30 minutes after the doors open, and run some game. So much fun, and you can rest easy knowing these people will never see you again.

-During the day go see nature/art/history exhibits and talk to people about the surroundings. Kills two birds with one stone.

Whether you pick solo or a wingman is up to you. I prefer solo because i'm more maneuverable and it forces me out of my comfort zone. Have a wingman if you need someone to remind you why you're there and force an approach. For instance, if you hamster and say "oh no i'm just vibing off this song and having a good time, I'll approach later" to yourself. We all know this is bullshit.
You're snowballing momentum with ego/self-confidence. The first approach of the night os the hardest. I try to get it out of the way while i'm waiting in line to go into the show or club.
Think of it as a range that our confidence falls into. Try to raise the ceiling AND the floor. In my opinion, experience (a larger sample size) will tend to raise the floor more than the ceiling (although both will increase).

No_senses · 2017-09-25T15:55:39+00:00

The term "fake it till you make it" has very real meaning behind it. What you see now as an "ego-boost" becomes natural with consistency. There are certain situations that may have you feeling more alpha, but if you continue to get into those scenarios and respond in an "alpha" way, then those responses will eventually become natural to you and become a part of who you are.

amekooky · 2017-09-25T18:39:34+00:00

If it was easy everyone would be confident. invest your time in improving yourself, because in reality there is no end goal.

tacko276 · 2017-09-25T22:04:57+00:00

"True confidence comes only with preparation" Larry Bird #33

Title	How to develop real confidence rather than episodes of ego-boost?
Author	alienfromjupiter007
Upvotes	17
Comments	32
Date	September 25, 2017 7:27 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/72awff/how_to_develop_real_confidence_rather_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-develop-real-confidence-rather-than.114992 https://theredarchive.com/post/114992

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