How to master self-amusement?

kevin_le0 · 2018-03-28T16:05:32+00:00

Focus on what makes you happy and laugh instead of what other people think. I like to think that if people don't like me or my antics, they can simply go away. No harm done, the worst thing that can happen is that they don't like you and you can meet other people who will.

It's hard at first but once you get comfortable in your own skin you really start to learn what makes you laugh. Remember that it is your frame.

Try reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson.

The_Lightskin_Wonder · 2018-03-28T19:21:30+00:00

This might sound odd but read everything here in a light hearted tone. I gained an overly Stern attitude in how I spoke and reacted to things. TRP comes off a little blunt but you can still smile and be unmoved.

Smile that's the best thing to learn first. Learn to smile when you react. Learn to smile when you speak. And learn to smile naturally. People can still tell the difference between someone who is amused or ticked off.

You don't even have to show teeth just smirk. This helps control your facial expressions and smiling convinces your brain that you must be happy right now, therefore you should feel that way as well. You don't think negatively when you're happy right?

needz · 2018-03-28T16:12:46+00:00

It's crucial to not care what the outcome of the interaction is. To me, the philosophy of Stoicism has been paramount in internalizing a "nothing that happens to me will bother me unless I let it" mentality, which will give you the courage to do things for your own amusement.

How to stay self-amused: when you meet enough people, some(most) interactions become mundane/typical/predictable and after you've reached this point, you'll want to do things for the sake of amusing yourself just to keep your spirits up. You'll do it for you, and it just happens to be an attractive quality (just like almost all aspects of TRP).

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-03-28T17:28:56+00:00

Every time you feel this emotional nail hiting your nerves or ego take it as opportunity ro make a joke. To yourself or for others without portraing yourself as beta ofc. I had plate acting up several days in a row so i was fuck it. I cant make her behave ill try to enjoy myself and joke about everything she says or does. The very same night everything dissolved.

chazthundergut · 2018-03-28T19:55:43+00:00

Here are some tips:

Stop trying. When you're out in a group, stop trying to be funny. Stop trying to get people to like you. When you're out with a girl, stop trying to impress her. Stop trying to say the right thing.
Stop thinking. Be present in the moment. I know this sounds cheesy, but it has really helped me. Instead of constantly thinking and analyzing every word and interaction, try your best to simply tune in to what is actually happening. Pay attention to what is going on around you, instead of thinking about how you're being perceived and what your next move is.
Stop talking. Let others do most of the talking. Jump in if you're feeling it, crack a joke if you have one, and answer questions when asked. But as a rule (and especially while you're learning) you need to shut the fuck up and listen to what other people are saying. Chicks absolutely love feeling like they have "figured you out" a mysterious man with their special feminine ways. You eliminate this opportunity every time you volunteer more information about yourself than you must.
Stop lying. There is no reason to lie about anything. It is needy behavior, and it builds incongruence which women can easily detect. Instead of lying to a chick, just say less and let her imagination fill in the blanks.
Practice more. It is in the word: Amused Mastery. Mastery only comes through much practice. So you need to treat social interactions the same way you treat all disciplines, and practice as much as you can. Once you learn how to flirt and talk to girls, this part gets much easier because you will actually be having fun so you'll have better interactions and will do it more often.
You are the man. Wherever you go, that is the cool place to be. Whatever you're doing, that is the cool thing to do. You need to develop this mindset, and not just when there are other people around you. Standing in a line? Awesome. Dancing? Awesome. Eating? Holy shit awesome. Do not think you need to do certain things to be cool. You don't. You are the source of your cool. The source of your own happiness, the source of fun and excitement, your source of validation, your source of value. It must be you. If you need others' approval or validation to feel cool, then other people will feel your presence like a social vampire. Chicks need validation. Not you. You're a man. You are an unshakeable source of masculine energy.
Have fun. This must be your number one focus and priority in all social interactions. You're not trying to win anyone over, impress them, or anything else. You're just trying to have fun. That's it. Take the pressure off yourself and focus all your energy on enjoying yourself. This will set the perfect vibe for amused mastery.
Relax. Take some deep breaths. It is much harder to have amused mastery when you are anxious and tense. So relax.
And of course, make sure you are maxing out your SMV in all areas. Start with lifting and go from there. The usual stuff. The man who lifts and is strong and muscular, is killing it in his classes/ career, is relentlessly pursuing his mission in life, has fun and creative hobbies, has a circle of men he respects, has plates and abundance, etc. - this man does not have to try very hard to convey amused mastery. He built it into his life the hard way, brick by brick. This is the foundation of TRP, and the best strategy for long-term success. So get to it.

Good luck.

Moreofmore · 2018-03-28T21:43:05+00:00

Try doing improv comedy or watch comedians interact with people. Then try out stuff on others and see if you think it’s funny in context. Or get a book on how to have conversations when networking and blend both together to create a good flow of useful and fun when talking.

melonsle · 2018-03-28T22:00:31+00:00

There's a child within each one of us and as you peel away the layers, using meditation/journaling/self-understanding, or whatever other means you use, you will naturally begin to play more.

You just have to lessen the extent of the negative inhibiting behaviors by understanding their origins and calming them. The positive action of play will occur naturally and spontaneously, because that child inside has never gone away.

yanumba1 · 2018-03-28T15:49:13+00:00

I am also interested in seeing what people have to say about this topic

DamiensLust · 2018-03-28T16:08:39+00:00

Same way you master anything else. Practice, practice, practice. If you're new to it then it may initially be difficult to divorce your enjoyment from the approval of others. You need to at least convincingly fake being amused despite, or even better because of, the shit tests that will no doubt be thrown at you when you start trying self-amusement out. You will likely fail to maintain frame & self-amusement at the start, but you then take note and calibrate until its second nature. You can't practice self-amusement alone in your bedroom, you can't master holding frame by reading & theorizing, it has to be forged in real social situations continually.

ThreeEyez · 2018-03-28T16:09:36+00:00

Ya gotta learn to not take shit personal. Even if it seems someone is insulting you. Fuck em. Also, get a hobby. Find reasons how YOU as an individual are the shit.

VikkBlack · 2018-03-28T19:07:49+00:00

Imagine yourself as a kid on the playground. You are walking around, playing, trying to have fun. You are joking, singing, dancing, just doing whatever you like. Be focused in the moment and enjoy it, look at what is good in the present and if its boring then make it fun!

Might be wrong but I feel like I hit it.

pro-complainer · 2018-03-28T19:57:52+00:00

Don't attach emotion into everything you do. See the lighter side of things, but at the same time do know when to stand your ground for the important things.

What I find helps is to listen to audio of stand up comedies. Trevor Noah is one I would recommend because his work is really witty as opposed to other comedians that curse to get a laugh in.

trp_nofap_rewire2018 · 2018-03-28T22:22:41+00:00

remindme! 24 hours

because I too need more info on this

bot256 · 2018-03-29T07:16:27+00:00

Here's what I learned about myself and approaching females. First and foremost, I like to approach females at a one of my favorite local bars. Just going there for a drink with a bro already gets me in quite a good mood since I like the place. Music I like also helps me so maybe before I go out I have a beer at home to loosen me up while listening to my some of my "getting-to-party" songs. This part might sound cringy but it really gets me in a good mood what I believe is the key to self-amusement. It's much easier to go talk to a girl when you're already feeling entertained and cheerful - then, even if she rejects you there it doesn't really matter, the things that made you enjoy the evening are still there. Just find what makes you feel good and gets you to party, get in a good mood and then go talk to a female. Now, this is what has worked for me on couple of occasions and I really haven't tried it all that much. Also, this is me specifically when going out to have good time and maybe approach some females. I still might find it difficult to be self amused in other situations.

P.S. A kind of rule I have made for myself is first get to enjoy yourself and only then go talk to girls - don't make them the central focus of your evening, make having fun the central focus of your evening. One time I met this guy (a friend's friend) who was obviously adept at the RP and PUA ways. We were going to go try our luck that night but I wasn't in the mood so I decided that there's little to no point to push it if I just didn't feel cheerful from the inside. Btw, some great comments here, I think each one of us can find some good info under this post.

vizzzzion · 2018-03-28T16:12:35+00:00

Simple. Amuse yourself

Title	How to master self-amusement?
Author	seekr20
Upvotes	28
Comments	17
Date	March 28, 2018 3:02 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/87slr1/how_to_master_selfamusement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-master-self-amusement.126680 https://theredarchive.com/post/126680

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