My GF is he most sincere and straightforward person I've ever been with. She's so much into me, so honest and hasn't shittested me even once so far (2 months) - well, at least, not intentionally (no challenges of my authority, no "doing something to see how he reacts", no playing some games).

However, the world still throws shit-tests at me. And she seems to be affected by them, and I don't know how to handle it.

Example 1:

We're walking around at the Restaurant Day, visit a place called "Piano bar" which, as the name suggests, has a piano inside. We buy some stuff to taste, a dude is playing a lute, we chat about music, I mention I never got to playing string instruments, but I play piano (actually just learning), he tells me I must play for everybody, I go "okay", sit, open it and start playing. Bartender comes and tells me I should not play piano because "there was a request not to play it because some-bogus-reason". I tell him "fine, I didn't know, this man told me it's okay to play it and that's why I thought it's allowed", he says something like "that man is a big liar" with an uncertain expression, and we get up and go.

I'm absolutely not affected by this. As far as it goes for me, nothing happened - I wasn't denied anything, I wasn't ridiculed for my piano skills (I actually played the piece flawlessly), I didn't do anything unadequate. I'm cheerful as usual, but I notice she's locked up somewhat. Eventually she spills out in a bit upset manner "Why would they do it? Why call themselves piano bar, put a piano and not allow to play it? Should I bring my own with me, well I can, I'll bring my own to play it, have it installed, play, and take it with me when I'm done! How ridiculous...".

Now, I don't know how to react. I'm telling her it was nothing and I wasn't really affected at all and that they're just strange and let them be that way, it's their business and if they go under because of that attitude they deserve it. She's still upset. I tell her she shouldn't care that much, and she says "I don't care at all" and we change subject. I feel she did care, but I don't get what really happened in her, from her POV. Why would she be so upset. I also don't get why she, usually VERY honest and straightforward, doesn't admit she really does care. Maybe she really honestly thinks she didn't care, but why is she venting like that then?

What happened and how should I have acted in this situation?

Example 2:

We're at an indoor amusement park playing lasertag. I'm very skilled and can easilly outgun 5 to 10 regular visitors. We're about to enter the arena for the game, we stand at the entrance and wait for the staff to let us in (they press a button for each person individually). A cocky dude with obvious self-esteem issues doesn't press the button and tries to pick on me:

  • Him: I'm not letting you in, I've seen you play just now, how come you're going in again (He's referring to the fact that I would normally have to queue up for the game again after playing, and the queue is big now, so I would only get to play again after skipping one or two games, so he assumes I'm cheating)

  • Me: Last game had several people not show up, and there were free spots and we were around, that's why we played. As for this game - we've queued up an hour ago

  • Him: I've saw you play and you play too good (I forgot exactly how, but he then goes on to somehow ridiculously twist that into me abusing the game and making it unpleasant for other people, trying to make me feel bad for playing well)

  • Me: I'm not doing anything against the rules, so there's no problem with that.

  • Him: I saw you move too fast, and running is against the rules. Other people follow your lead and so you make the game dangerous for everybody.

  • Me: I'm having at least one leg touch the ground at all times, so I'm not running. When I'm moving fast it's within the rules. I do have an instinct to run since I played this game semi-pro for several years but I'm controlling myself.

  • Him: (forgot his exact wording, but he goes on to somehow brag and tell me he's in control here, and he decides who's running and who's not, and that he can stop the game for everybody or individually for me at any time he considers me to be running)

  • Me: Even if I will occasionally run for a split second, I'm noticing it and immediately restrain myself. As I've said, it's an instinct and I'm doing my best not to do it. You have no reason to worry for anyone's safety.

  • Him: (lets us in) I'll be watching you bla bla bla

  • Me: Whatever (lead her to the lockers ignoring him)

Again, I'm completely unaffected by this. I don't give a fuck. We go in, we have some time in private before the game starts, and I notice she's affected. She's angry or pissed off or I don't know really, but she's affected.

  • She goes on to tell me how stupid his behavior is, how he's really got nothing better to do than to say that, nothing better to do with his life, how he's pathetic and so on.

  • I tell her I saw him before, and he's obviously got self-esteem issues and always says shit like that to the players.

  • She tells me I should make extra effort to move more slowly than usual so that he doesn't kick me out.

  • I reply I don't care as I know him and he is always this bitchy about "rules" and hasn't actually taken a single person out yet, because he's too lazy to actually do it, so there's no danger.

  • She tells me it would still feel bad to actually get kicked out in the middle of the game, so I should be extra careful

  • I reply that I don't care since I've played this game for ages and I won't cry if several minutes of the game are taken away from me - maybe she would, since she's new to the game, but I'll be fine, really. I also tell her even if he does kick me out - he's actually doing it to hurt me, psychologically. And I'm not giving a fuck, I've already won in this pscychological battle once, since he aimed to get me begging to let me in or apologetic about playing well, he wanted to humiliate me in front of my GF, which he has failed to do. And when he kicks me out and I'm not complaining or affected at all - he'll fail again, so I'd actually be pleased if he tries to actually kick me out, because I'd be delighted to see how he reacts when he fails to impact me. Still, I say, it's reasonable not to pick a fight with the personell in the place you're frequenting, she got that idea right.

I think I'm saying the right words (and I'm not making anything up - I'm saying what I'm thinking) but it doesn't help her mood at all. We eventually change subject to the game at hand.

What's going on here, anyone got any ideas?

My only idea is that in these cases she's trying to be caring about me. Like, she's pester me to be extra careful and serious about treating cuts on my fingers (that I sometimes get for numerous reasons), she's extra apologetic when she accidentally bumps into me like when we're hugging and kissing, she's trying to find ways to... basically, care for me in a feminine way. Maybe she's feeling upset in my place (even though I'm not upset) because of that "trying to care"? Should I let her do it or should I somehow fix this?