I'm a typical Indian nerd

DaveyOneBite · 2018-11-03T03:02:34+00:00

Yeah don’t listen to the guys who say it’s your attitude that’s the problem not your race. Your attitude actually seems pretty good and honest with yourself. You’re playing on hard mode and it’s most definitely due to your race.

The guys telling you to study and get a join a frat or get a good job to get girls? Also wrong. I’ve been through the frat scene, I’ve worked corporate for guys like this making great money...didn’t help. You need ‘fuck you’ money to make this work and you won’t get that working up the corporate ladder. 300k a year ain’t gonna cut it.

All that said, you’re already 95+% ahead of all other Indian guys just due to your RP awareness, your honesty with yourself, and your fitness.

I think fitness is your path forward. Specially BJJ or better yet switch to MMA..,a lower tier combat sport but gets more respect from the general public. People don’t respect this side of you? Are you actually doing amateur fights or simply training? If training then start doing real fights. Respect still an issue? Get better and beat stronger opponents. If you’re good your fighting peers will respect you.

Doing this should further tone your body and give you confidence. Pair that with a clean cut look and nice fashion style (I’m sure there are examples of good looking Indian guys on google for inspiration) add in the respect you’re gaining with your fellow fighters then you have a good chance of them accepting you into their social circle which will be a major boost.

I think this is your best path forward. Another route if you’re smart enough is to start your own company and get that ‘fuck you’ money. Or do both.

I don’t envy you but certainly respect your realism. I’m sure that will help you continue to progress.

Edit: Just want to add that if the nerd stuff is what makes you happy there is nothing wrong with just embracing that life while understanding woman won’t be flocking to you. Developers can do quite well and live comfortable lives. Don’t change who you are if you don’t want to.

LiftMeditateApproach · 2018-11-02T22:14:35+00:00

i have prepared special image folder full of motivators for my indian friends... check it out!

https://imgur.com/a/hUM6Gw4

you will feel much better

0ggles · 2018-11-02T21:55:04+00:00

All your attention should be on academics and hobbies at this point, grinding away to get into a decent college. Then join a Frat and you will get all the liberal girls you ever want.

jakethesnake5000 · 2018-11-02T21:33:45+00:00

Your mindset is the problem, not your ethnicity

chuaster · 2018-11-03T02:56:26+00:00

Hey- saw this post and thought i’d stop lurking to shoot some tips. Sometimes it is too difficult to break and change your position on a social hierarchy. It is both internal and external. People have already formed their opinion of you and to change all of it will take too much effort. You have also formed your own opinion of yourself in school and it is hard to change without changing the environment. Think of your school as the frame- its huge, and hard to shift. Instead it is easier when you enter into a new social hierarchy that is still being formed. From what you are saying, you are in high school and heading off to college? When you enter college, that would be the best time to create the new frame. You can enter as X, a BJJ and gym enthusiast who is outgoing and the first to approach and forge new friendships/cliques. When that happens, the new frame and identity is formed. You would have secured a higher position on the social hierarchy.

I had this issue too at my old job, i had swallowed the pill but found it hard to break the old me. I was afraid of speaking up and dreaded small talk with my bosses as that was me pre-pill. I found a new job and now people think I was born native to this country, even though i am a first gen immigrant. Further to this, i found culture sometimes sets you back. Asian culture ingrains reservation and obedience- traits which are not RP in nature. Self reflect and find habits you need to break. Eg, that bible for boys situation- you should have bantered with the guy, it was a subtle shit test. Just because he said its top secret was not saying ‘No’. If you had created a fun response, he may have let you see it, however your asian culture was to respect his privacy and not push it.

That is why sometimes TRP recommends you start a new relationship instead of trying to fix things. Hope this helps!

kellykebab · 2018-11-03T05:20:46+00:00

Social dynamics are as much about body language and subtle expectations as they are about overt signals like status, hobbies, appearance, etc. It's very possible that you just don't come across as confident or self-assured, regardless of your lifting and BJJ.

The next time you approach someone you want to befriend, don't ask something of them ("Hey, can you share your inside joke with me" - no one is ever going to do that), offer something. Tell a funny story, make a joke, share some info about a possible shared interest. What you say doesn't matter so much. What's important is that you say it from a place of self-assurance. You're giving something valuable to them, you're not asking something that you need from them.

bakamoney · 2018-11-03T05:34:31+00:00

Abcd or actual Indian?

stereotypical Indian- robotics team, programming club, model un, tennis, going to join debate in 2 weeks.

Lmao that's retarded to think of

mayy77 · 2018-11-03T05:37:37+00:00

How do you dress? How do you talk? This is huge, most Indians have the most submissive voices out there. How tall are you and how much do you weight? What do you talk about when you're with a girl?

Having interests like robotics isn't a problem. Just make sure that isn't what defines you and you're cool. Don't be a stereotype. Shower daily, wear deodorant and change your undershirt everyday.

socozyinhere · 2018-11-03T06:24:04+00:00

What worked for me was staying in backpackers. I did that a few times while traveling and pulled just by hanging out in the common area and chatting. Everyone's pretty open and friendly and often people go out to a bar in the evening, and you'll get to go with them. One night, I wasn't looking to pick up anyone, just hanging out with two girls and we decided to go out for the night. I retired early because I had to go some where in the morning. So I left the girls at some bar and went back to my dorm. But one of the girls came back 30 mins later to our dorm asking 'why did you leave' and started making out in the dorm with 6 other people. So we moved from the dorm to the showers, because with 6 others in the same room, it's a bit awkward.

Online dating's never worked well for me. Neither has speed dating. If you're Indian looking you're at the bottom of the list unfortunately. I get better rapport when doing activities and in group situations but even then it's hard. Just because I got lucky once or twice at a backpackers, it's far from the norm.

Remember Freddie Mercury was Indian. So if anyone wants to bust your ass about the Indian stereotype remind them of Freddie.

WheresWilliam · 2018-11-03T07:00:53+00:00

I think it’s super cool you’re doing BJJ. I’m just starting out but it helps clear my head

takobozu · 2018-11-03T10:27:04+00:00

being Indian in the West = life on hard mode

SignificantLettuce · 2018-11-03T19:53:59+00:00

Lol bruh if you're having such a hard time here in the U.S. as an ABCD with all that you've got going on, just try and imagine how hard it is for actual Indians here. It gets way harder when you're an Indian who came here for grad school and are in an environment where you don't even have "cliques" to try and get into. But my view of American college is this: Literally anything is possible if you're an undergrad. I'd suggest waiting it out and and capitalizing on the new environment in college. And just based on what I've read here:

Don't always dress to the 9s. Kinda comes off as tryhard. Rock casuals but know the dresscode and mood wherever you go.
Don't wait/ask for people to let you into the group. Suggest things to do or tell cool stories.
Be chill and develop inner game. Shouldn't be too hard seeing as you already have a lot going for you.

Kabuki431 · 2018-11-04T03:26:19+00:00

AFAIK most Indians are red pilled by nature, love is looked down upon, career family business is important etc.

Just change the stereo type and it will make a huge difference.

Dont smell like cooking ( or curry)
Stop wearing flipflops on shorts and t shirt with beer belly
Stop wearing white sneakers on jeans and polo Tshirts
Improve personal hygiene.
Most important, dont be a cheap bastard. Yes its part of stereo type.
If you go out for dinner/drinks treat your servers well and tip well

Flame away.

DifficultZombie3 · 2019-02-04T19:30:22+00:00

Being an Indian in US, I think this by far the most useful post I have come across on personal improvement. No matter how brutal some of these comments are, they are much better than the other politically correct explanations I get elsewhere.

Sero-Flex · 2018-11-02T23:38:04+00:00

You said you go to private school right? Are you/your family abnormally wealthy?

HurricaneHugues · 2018-11-03T00:23:45+00:00

Join different clubs that are not so Indian? You feed yourself right into the stereotypes' mouths and then u wonder what's going wrong. Stop being stereotypical. Expand your personality.

CalvinRichland · 2018-11-02T21:28:30+00:00

Indian is not the issue. Until you accept that we can't help you.

I'm a typical Indian nerd

Comments

B.R.U.T.A.L.

Title	I'm a typical Indian nerd
Author	doctorpolitician
Upvotes	19
Comments	121
Date	November 2, 2018 9:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9to8d4/im_a_typical_indian_nerd/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-a-typical-indian-nerd.53644 https://theredarchive.com/post/53644