Is it possible to reform a LTR?

Tarmyniatur · 2018-06-08T06:34:56+00:00

If you correlate you being an asshole to her by improving yourself and taking massive action towards your mission, probably, but 1 year is not really a LTR that can be "salvaged" in that way, if it took you one year to lose frame you didn't have much to begin with.

tikitheman · 2018-06-08T07:05:49+00:00

It can be done. I am doing it. Is it worth it? I would say no unless its a wife and you have kids and even then I am not so sure. The amount of work you have to put in is way more than if it was a new woman. This is in the sidebar read it.

One more problem is you may be able to reform her but you may no longer want her when you do.

TheBigHorse420 · 2018-06-08T08:09:54+00:00

FuckboyAWALT · 2018-06-08T07:15:11+00:00

Not worth. Save yourself time and energy by approaching other women.

Why would you try to fix a broken car, when you get offered a new/better one for free?

abudun79 · 2018-06-08T11:32:37+00:00

I like that you don't run away from your LTR after realizing you played a big role in the downfall.

From how you describe it, it seems like you are trying very hard to change the course immediately and drastic... and expect results too fast. Some of your examples sound like you try to punish her filling the space you left for her.

If you care for her, slow down, take your time to change yourself for the better in a way you can control. And let her adapt to your changes. Try not to become a hardcore TRP asshole towards her, because you believe everything the anger-phase-crabs tell you. After all she still needs a reason to see you as the prize.

If you don't want to be with her anymore, end it in a way you can be sure you won't regret in 10 years. For example by dodging her reaction and run away from it like a boy, rationalizing that you don't have to give her anything else.

Dulow1220 · 2018-06-08T08:21:47+00:00

There is no repairing this LTR if she has become used to this power dynamic. Notice in the beginning of a relationship with a woman that nearly all women with some level of natural submissiveness will seek out that dynamic with her man, and why most men wonder why she changed and how to get that "passion" back. It changed because the power dynamic changed and swung into the favor of her being the dominant one. Changing it now will take a lot of work or will only cause fighting, she will see your behavior as incongruent with your behavior before. Being red pilled is not easy, you have to always maintain frame to get the outcome you desire. My suggestion is to introspect and determine if this girl is worth the effort, If so then work on correcting your behaviors and her own to re-establish the dominance you previously had, without being a complete dickhead about it. Think natural game, and allow yourself to operate in that headspace. If she isn't, find some women to plate, end the LTR and work on your frame.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-06-08T11:18:48+00:00

Why do you want to save it? The biggest eye opener to me after becoming red pill aware and a few years of lifting isn’t that I can get A girl or keep A girl, it’s that there are so freakin many chicks out there that now want me I can pick and chose. It’s not worth the effort unless you’re married or have kids. Dump her and start clean. Find the one YOU want, don’t change someone into something you can tolerate. It won’t last anyway.

Elitevaz · 2018-06-08T12:11:58+00:00

1 year and I'm guessing no kids or marriage, may not be worth it. I believe it can be reformed. You have re-establish your dominance. I've been doing this with an LTR over 10x longer than yours and it took almost half a year while I learned trp principles. You will get a lot of shit tests, but that's fine. It's supposed to happen. I have fun passing shit tests now. If I didn't have so much time with her and kids, I think I would just do what most guys do here and spin a few plates, which is what I recommend you do.

Auvergnat · 2018-06-08T13:14:52+00:00

Is it possible to turn it around? Yes

Is it better to start with someone new? Yes.

You can turn it around but why bother when for a tenth of the effort you can have another, nicer, hotter, drama-free girl, with whom you can build just as strong, if not stronger, an emotional connection?

Don't let scarcity mentality delude you into thinking this one is "special".

chachaChad · 2018-06-08T13:53:31+00:00

She was turning me in to her bitch.

Oh you poor little baby... did the mean ole' vagina hurt you? She didn't do shit to you. You did it to yourself.

I don't really know if it's possible. Just be who you really are and if she's OK with that she'll turn herself around. If she doesn't, you move on. Don't try to hang on to something that isn't working. Her resistance is directly related to the speed at which you're making changes. If you suddenly turn her shower from hot to ice cold, she's going to freak. If you gently turn it from hot to cold over time, she won't be quite as bothered. The question is just exactly how much time to you want spend fiddling with the shower knob when you could be start from a better place with someone new?

quicklogaccount · 2018-06-08T17:04:02+00:00

It is, but it's hardly worth it unless you have children or some big thing at risk.

As a rule of thumb, keeping a relationship fulfilling is WAY harder than having uncommitted sex with the same quality of women, AND polygamy is a lot more sexually fulfilling than monogamy.

To make the LTR worth it, for starters, it must bring enough to the table to compensate you for your loss in the sexual side. This is already hard in itself, and under these circumstances the chick must keep her "womanly ways", her nature, in conscious check so maintaining the relationship doesn't become hard on itself.

IF the chick is becoming a bitch, testing your frame or otherwise not acting AGAINST her nature TO MAKE SHIT EASY, your relationship needs what folks call "RP hard mode" to work well, which is hard as fuck to do. And it still has to be good enough to compensate the loss in sexuality, already hard in itself. So, it's hardly worth the hassle man.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2018-06-08T17:11:25+00:00

“Is it possible to reform a LTR?”

No.

It is possible for you to improve yourself, for yourself, and anecdotally experience a rise in SMV, which may or may not bring her along.

Sounds like you have relatively low SMV and some asshole tendencies, as in a pussy full of shit.

Break up, fix yourself, re-enter the SMP with your new, higher SMV, and slay.

You’re welcome.

dongpal · 2018-06-08T18:12:47+00:00

it's a human thing. once you categorized someone in a specific way, you want him to be there.

I would suggest you do what you want and if happens to work with her, fine. If it doesnt, LTR will break up and you continue being who you are.

bigsmallkev · 2018-06-08T06:40:13+00:00

I’ve never had the urge to rekindle a former flame. But if you do have a inner burning desire to connect and provide some new fun, fresh, worthwhile experiences whilst not going back to your BP ways, why not? As long as you’re cognizant of your RP aware version of you, it’s up to you. I’d go with exploring the abundant quantities of HBs waiting for you to approach them.

Title	Is it possible to reform a LTR?
Author	Rav_the_slav
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	June 8, 2018 6:17 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8phmf8/is_it_possible_to_reform_a_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-it-possible-to-reform-a-ltr.99511 https://theredarchive.com/post/99511

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