Warning: cringy post. I did all the wrong things.

I met a girl exactly 1.5 months ago. She’s hot as hell, but a very wild party girl. She’s the girl the rich dudes call when they want ass on their yachts and mansion parties. And she’s always out and doing a ton of drugs and alcohol, skimpy bikinis in pools and jacuzzis all over everyone. So obviously all I wanted was to fuck, and I did. Within hours of meeting her at the party I smashed in the bathroom.

Should’ve stopped there, but she’s hot and fucks like a champion. So I kept seeing her for sex. Then spending more time with her, started seeing the sober side. She’s actually great. Fun, smart, and SO affectionate. Made me feel amazing, felt like she really likes me. Mind you I’m not rich or have nothing to offer like those guys she’s around 24/7, simply looks and good personality. Therefore, it felt genuine. I believe it was, at least in her head at the moment. Soon enough I’m attached as fuck. Big mistake.

Last night at a friend’s house she comes over trashed. Blacked out drunk as usual. I’m not giving her much attention, so I believe that’s why she started flirting with a completely random dude there. I come outside and she’s sitting on his lap in his car. She sees me, I go to my car to leave, she runs over and gets in. I proceeded to be completely beta and tell her how disrespectful that was, and that I wouldn’t do that to her. She tells me she would never fuck anyone else, she just felt neglected, she’s sorry, she really likes me, she really wants to be with me, etc. she asks to come home with me, I say yeah go grab your stuff.

My boy comes out meanwhile and he’s like wtf are you doing? You’re an idiot if you don’t leave right this second. The dude was finger banging her in his car. I fucking smash off. Crushed. Still can’t sleep. She’s texting and calling a couple times, I ignore. I get home and call my boy. He said he told her I knew what she did, she didn’t really care, she got on the phone and called some guys at a party and they sent her an Uber. At 5am.

I know I did this all wrong. I should’ve never got involved with a girl like that beyond the initial fuck. But I got attached. Bad. And now I don’t know what to do. Can I eventually bring her back and somehow keep her for sex and access? Should I dead it 100%? Part of me wants revenge badly. I don’t know how maybe get her so hooked and then dump or fuck someone in front of her or something. I don’t know sounds childish but I’m burning with anger and depression right now.

Feel free to laugh and ridicule, but I’d appreciate some input fellas. Thanks.