Non stop shit tests from GF?

mikelovesvegas · 2014-03-28T15:16:55+00:00

delete facebook

kempff · 2014-03-28T12:17:30+00:00

Yes, just ignore her. She is provoking you in a setting in which others can see what she is saying and what your reaction is. Stop playing along.

SKapper · 2014-03-28T12:44:02+00:00

Great to ask questions, solid first step.

I would say that you're still approaching things from the seduction type approach, looking for a remedy to a systemic problem by putting a band aid over it. It may address this particular challenge, but you're going to be dealing with more and more of these tests in different arenas, and it tends to not end well.

You have to get to a point where you're too busy working on your own ventures/opportunities/life that you wouldn't register these types of bullshit issues, and would probably drop individuals who are being more of a nusinance than a help.

This applies to guys as well. Surround yourself with people who you want to be more like, or who help you achieve your own passions. Certainly sounds like she has things to figure out on her end, and you do too.

That's just my take on it. Your most valuable possession as an individual is your time. So don't waste it on situations just because "that's what's expected in relationships."

FindMitch · 2014-03-28T20:42:33+00:00

there's a few ways to deal with these so called shit tests.

ignore her until a later time
don't take them seriously and throw witty one-liners at her
say "my friends are more important because they were there for me before I met you and will be there for me after I leave you"
let her know how selfish and controlling she sounds

Pushnikov · 2014-03-28T15:47:56+00:00

Ignore it. If you feel the need to respond the only correct one is, "these are discussions adults have in person."

And that sends the only message she needs to hear.

Enphuego · 2014-03-28T18:10:14+00:00

I'm not sure if these are shit tests, they may just be a reflection of her own issues.

Is there a constant thread to what she wants you to comment on or when she gets upset? That will probably give you some insight into what she's worried about. Forget the actual content of her complaint and focus on it's context and you'll likely get down to what the real problem is.

It's not your obligation to "fix" her problem, but if it's your girlfriend you might help her out. You'll do better if you address the underlying cause of her upset rather than the actual complaint. The best strategy would be simply to derail the conversation into something else that's more positive.

thefoxman88 · 2014-03-28T12:01:51+00:00

I tend to treat fb chat along the same lines as text, use it to plan.

Also look up some chrome extension to hide if you have seen/read a message on fb, it only helps while on a PC but not mobile.

Dreamtrain · 2014-03-28T22:22:03+00:00

These aren't shit tests. Shit tests are a rather dishonest way to judge how much worth you have in her eyes, you can be a decent man and still fail these, and if you are failing these in a regular basis you wouldn't be asking yourself "should I ignore her" but rather "Why is she ignoring me?", look at all those bluepill examples (holy shit the one where the wife suggested polyamory) and you'll see how cruel and cold women are to a man she is no longer attracted to.

You don't tell us much more about her, but I don't think even this falls on TRP to explain her behavior or if the hamster's going crazy, it simply looks like the behavior of a manipulative human being who needs to feel in control of the several things going on in their lives. I usually avoid these kind of people, men and women alike, so I can't give you much more input beyond this. Just give a read on what TRP says about you, the man, not her the woman.

"Stick to the basics", I suppose.

RedDeadRepentance · 2014-03-29T02:48:48+00:00

She only does that because she knows you'll let her have her way.

The next time she gives you an ultimatum like that say, "Okay, there's food in the fridge. You'll survive the night. Don't burn the house down while I'm gone." Don't reply to her the rest of the night. It will go from "it's me or them" to "I should be able to go with you."

If you can't find the will to put her in her place then you've already lost. Good luck.

[deleted] · 2014-03-29T04:53:15+00:00

Just reply "my friends. Lol"

boydeer · 2014-03-29T13:55:24+00:00

unfriend her on facebook? when she gets upset about it, tell her it's because facebook is a public forum and she doesn't behave herself in public. if she doesn't like it, next her. she sounds like a serious problem, bro.

also:

Trying to tell me what do or say shit like "its me or your friends!".

"hahaha, so i'm supposed to abandon the people who aren't trying to control me for the person who is? thanks, no."

americnleprchaun · 2014-03-28T18:03:25+00:00

dread game

Title	Non stop shit tests from GF?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	March 28, 2014 11:55 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/21l3to/non_stop_shit_tests_from_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/non-stop-shit-tests-from-gf.139203 https://theredarchive.com/post/139203

Comments