Protecting yourself

319Skew · 2021-04-22T14:07:00+00:00

Observe behaviours.

Keep all chat logs.

Have people who can vouch for you (female).

Don't fuck anyone who is drunk. Slight inebriation is fine and you can push that a bit if you have been hooking up often.

Don't do BDSM with someone you just met.

Observe and listen to her current behaviour and past histories.

Take the L and walk away from sex if you are getting a bad feeling.

Try to close at her place first. This one has saved me more than once.

Create a SM for plates. Use that as a buffer.

Read side bar for flags to watch for.

Don_Draper27 · 2021-04-22T14:39:36+00:00

Vetting heavily is the best advice. More often than not, she'll tell you some red flags, without you even pressing. She'll randomly bring up that she's been sexually assaulted, daddy issues, or she'll talk shit about an ex.

ONS and same-day-lay are "sO aLpHa BrO!" but this is when you're at most risk.

Fuck all of you but I'll tell a date that I like her uglass haircut or that I "feel our connection." I bring comfort to the table right off the bat, and I've never had any worry of a lay falsely reporting me.

In fact, being a tad emotional really lowers there defenses and most of them will somewhat obsess over me. "You're not like other guys."

Then finally, trust your gut. Don't ever be too drunk with a first lay, and they definitely should not be either. 2 drinks max.

If you have to wait until the 2nd date to close then big fucking whoop. Waiting a few days is absolutely worth the peace of mind of not being legally at risk, and you'll more likely convert the lay into a long term plate.

themostgianthorse · 2021-04-22T13:34:42+00:00

Vet better won’t solve everything the same way a bullet proof vest won’t keep you from getting shot in the head.

But it’s still good protection!

Save messages and don’t be a fool.

Vet, understand covert communication ( the difference between “teehee no” and “NO) and don’t try to fuck girls that are super drunk.

-since · 2021-04-22T17:13:22+00:00

If you want to truly minimize risk through compromise, move away from plates, towards a tight rotation / FWBs / LTR.

The more plates and rando ONS you fuck, the great the number of threats, and the greater chance of getting fucked.

The less girls in your rotation, and the more stable your LTR, the less number of potential dangers, and lower chance of getting fucked.

lordlivingston · 2021-04-22T15:02:31+00:00

Plan for contingencies. Think about things that can potentially happen in such a case and plan ahead.

Don't walk into a party all drunk without knowing what you will do when someone accuses you of you know what.

If a girl is drunk, and you're not, don't have sex with her period.

If you're both in a room getting drunk together. Make sure you have a voice recorder that can vouch for you and make sure she tells you at some point that she consents.

serpentcharmer22 · 2021-04-22T17:57:22+00:00

Never fuck with a girl who makes a scene about being a feminist online. If she has called out any of her exes for being toxic or abusive, just stay away.

If you plan to play bare, get a vasectomy

vandaalen · 2021-04-22T18:17:49+00:00

your single best weapons are your gut and your brain

SenorTonto · 2021-04-22T20:03:30+00:00

Im stealing this one from Allan Roger Currie. His perspective is that a lot of these false accusations and hatred towards men from individual women stem from dishonest men. Men who are not honest and direct with the women they are courting. These men hide their intentions towards women. Its the age old, lead her on with both my words and actions making her think there is more to the relationship than just casual sex and/or a fwb relationship.

Protect yourselves by being clear and honest with women. When you meet them at the jump, tell them want to you want from them i.e. casual sex, date casually and see where it goes, committment, marriage, etc. Dont be vague with women. tell them you are NOT interested in ANYTHING platonic. that you're interested in a SEXUAL relationship with her. This can weed out the women with pyschological and bonding issues. Any heallthy human respects someone who is honest in respectful manner. Your ambiguity can be taken as mind games and people in general dont like to be played that includes women. Its a fallacy that you need to take things slow and wait till a few dates or encounters to fully reveal what you desire.

DavidCameronEtonLad · 2021-04-22T17:26:55+00:00

Some of TRP advice about never complimenting her or ghosting being cold etc is BS. After care is everything. When you leave a situation try and do so on good terms even if it was a ONS with a "hey I enjoyed last night a lot" something along those lines. After sex women can be very emotionally vulnerable and if they regret it, feel used, etc that's when the hamster can stsrt to spin to make her not feel like she moved slutty at best smearing you as a fuck boy to any other worse smears. Obviously don't over do it so she thinks your soft or new to sex but I wouldn't be cold either.

teramelosiscool · 2021-04-22T17:11:21+00:00

tell them you have a bunker they can come to to ride out the storm, and then have them sign a contract that says they will always act like they desire your penis, even when they don't. a hidden camera in your room wouldn't hurt either.

KurkTheMagnificent · 2021-04-22T21:27:58+00:00

Just avoid women. Objectively not worth it.

FinancialThanks1 · 2021-04-22T13:33:30+00:00

They’re not high risk activities

Rimefang · 2021-04-22T17:16:19+00:00

Social media is poison for the soul.

Xaxaima · 2021-04-22T21:09:00+00:00

Don't sleep with crazy, don't sleep with someone that clearly doesn't feel comfortable, don't do anything too kinky the first time even if she asks for it aka anything that'd leave a mark as it's easily twisted into evidence. Also always message the following morning or better yet ask them to let you know they got home okay. Alternatively, if you're at your place, get a ring doorbell that will record her leaving and make sure you see her out and make it clear things were amicable when she left - save the footage in case.

Ultimately, don't be a rapist, don't be an autist that can't tell if someone isn't comfortable with the direction things are going, and take sensible steps to protect you from the small risk of a crazy getting past your mental checks.

Normular_ · 2021-04-23T17:17:08+00:00

Use good judgement. Not all women are crazy.

Title	Protecting yourself
Author	jackedtradie
Upvotes	56
Comments	36
Date	April 22, 2021 1:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mw4maj/protecting_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/protecting-yourself.761849 https://theredarchive.com/post/761849

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