Unable to escalate dates into hookups

jegamen · 2017-12-16T20:47:01+00:00

The problem is your missing a gap in your dates and you're also being a pussy not gonna lie. When you are in the coffee shop try to build rapport and some sexual tension with strong eye contact then switch venues don't stay in the coffee shop my suggestion would be to take her to park where you can get a bit more touchy and increase the tension but you should pay attention to her body language and see if she's receptive first start by accidentally brushing off her shoulder then poking her playfully and later on when you're at the park try sitting on a bench and sit close till your thighs touch it would make the tension soar but don't go for the kiss if you want her back at yours now at this point ask her to go back to your place try to find a excuse though just say you want to show her a recipe you've been working on

nebder · 2017-12-16T22:14:44+00:00

There’s a lot to unpack here man.

You’re not escalating. Therefore you’re not signaling your intent. You’re getting friendzoned. It’s rarely worth the effort to escape the friendzone if you allowed yourself to end up there.

Seriously wtf are you doing man? 3 meetups, no kiss? 2 meetups, no touching? You’re shooting yourself in the foot and these girls are correct in thinking that you’re sending off platonic signals.

Don’t wait till the end of the date to kiss her. You kiss her when you want to and some tension has been built. If you thinks she’s ready for a kiss, she would’ve kissed you 15 minutes ago. Worst case scenario is you go in for it and she turns her head. You’re not going to explode into a ball of flaming meat, no lightning will come out of the sky, nothing bad happens.
Hookup strategy

If you’re working for a sameday hookup, start with the end in mind and work backwards. The question is how do I get her back to my place. Logistics logistics logistics. Have something interesting at your place as your plausible deniability. “I just wanted to check out his fish tank, then it just happened”, have a start venue and a middle venue. Start at a coffee shop or something public, pull a venue switch then pull to your place. That’s the basic outline, you fill in the blanks. In the summer i usually do coffee/ice cream shop, park, bar, final destination for the close. You obviously escalate upwards during this encounter.

Option #2 is first date is short, like 30-60 minutes. You build tension with kino and wordplay but do not kiss her. Then you make arrangements for a second meet at your place. Possible things for your place are cook dinner together, watch a movie, have wine and cheese, show her your guitars, whatever. Escalate and fuck.

“The mystery method” pdf is a quick google search away. You should know how to use the Internet by now man.

chazthundergut · 2017-12-16T20:53:08+00:00

Stop with the coffee dates. Meet up for drinks close to your place. If you want a girl who is down to fuck, you need to screen them accordingly. Coffee sends the wrong message.

Moreofmore · 2017-12-16T21:48:33+00:00

It’s your job to set the scene so you can escalate. Do something active. Go to a bar and play darts/ pool or something where y’all move around

DadOnDabs · 2017-12-17T01:32:41+00:00

1) you're nervous

2) after you kiss a couple girls it goes away

3) JUST DO IT

I used to be just like you. Then one day I said fuck it. I know what happens if I don't escalate. Let's see what happens if I do. Went pretty badly the first time. I evaluated what I did wrong and tried again. With a bit of looks, game, and luck I got layed my second date trying to escalate.

It's just having the balls to do it.

walawalawa · 2017-12-17T01:33:08+00:00

It's not so much WHERE you go but WHAT you do.

You're not screening these girls early or before dates to ensure you're setting a sexual frame.

Tease them more via text. Learn better text game. That way you weed out the time-wasters.

Secondly go for "drinks"---find a cozy pub. You don't have to drink alcohol but get into a place where it's darker and more prone to escalating.

Finally, learn how to escalate. There are tons of materials and even new materials available on how to do this. Check out Krauser's new book or his older book DayGame Mastery.

The material is all out there. You need to overcome your fears and there are simple ways to overcome this.

falecf4 · 2017-12-17T02:21:46+00:00

So much here, I'll keep it simple. Kiss them at the beginning of the date and then you don't have to worry about it at the end.

mushroom_overlord · 2017-12-17T06:31:28+00:00

There is one girl whom I met 3 times, all spontaneous coffee dates, I casually touched her, held her hand, arm wrestled and what not but never kissed at the end of the dates. Same thing with a new girl I have hung out with twice (she's socially awkward but seems into me), no kiss yet, absolutely no touching with this one yet. I got two more girls' numbers today and plan to meet them later this week. I don't want to ruin those ones.

Don't wait for the end to kiss. Escalate in the moment instead of forcing it at the end. Try to kiss the awkward girl after calming her nerves with masculine comfort.

In these past few moths, the only sex I've had is with my ex. Yes, both me and her have had our weak moments and we have had sex, and the sex was fucking great. But I'm wasting my tinder dates if I'm not sleeping with them, so I'd like to know why tf do I suck at escalating physically.

Stop getting your rocks off on your ex; that way you are more motivated to escalate in the moment by your sexual energy (keep masturbation to a minimum for the same reason). Also, if every date that doesn't result in sex is "wasted," then you are too desperate for pussy to actually learn and develop/show abundance mentality.

With coffee dates, it's difficult to touch because most of the time, we're sitting opposite each other. I don't know at which point and how to invite her to my place.

Find an excuse to be in close quarters. Examples are showing her a video on your phone (you have the excuse when you are watching it too rather than passing over your phone), offering to sit at a bar area rather than a table, "let's get some fresh air," etc.

(The reason I mentioned my ex is because I'm afraid she's the reason why I'm not able to make a move on other girls, although I'm getting good sex from her lately so I don't want to give up the sex with her until I have something else arranged.)

Go with your gut, not your dick. Obviously we all want to get laid, but if you are "afraid" then you are maybe getting a gut feeling that something is getting in the way; or maybe just coming to a rational conclusion. Either way, I think it's pretty obvious what to do on this count.

All in all we can see some very specific ways you are fucking up, but the deeper problem is that you are worrying too much about "wasting" dates and about your ex. Stop being so outcome oriented and thinking about all the lays you missed, and instead develop a DGAF attitude.

To close off with an analogy that might help, think of playing the field like investing in the stock market. You cannot reasonably expect every investment to pan out, you simply make the smartest ones you can with the information you have and learn from every experience. Every date is not wasted if you are making smart investments; into game, abundance, DGAF, and simple experience.

Conor_Niggregor · 2017-12-17T07:16:34+00:00

If you go for coffee, go somewhere that has booths. Don't sit across from her. Sit in the same booth, next to her. Surely, she'll not have had a guy do that before and it gives you the opportunity to kino.

Coffee is kinda wack tho. Go for ice cream before you go for coffee.

"Girl like ice cream" - Tony Montana

Edit: BTW, I always have girls from any of those dating sites come to my house and cook with me if I wanna do a "date" thing. The dates have always been awesome and cooking together gives you the opportunity to kino by putting your hands on her waist, etc. Also if she's at your place, surely you have no problem grabbing her hands, pulling her to you, and kissing her right there in the kitchen. Just make sure you're the one who ends the kiss.

ScottDurden · 2017-12-16T22:41:29+00:00

The problem is you're taking tinder girls on actual dates.

Netflix & chill is a fool proof way to escalate & get laid. Second, you could just pick her up & drive around put your hand on the inside of her thigh, make out, fuck her in the car.

Instead of taking her for coffee fuck her in a park after dark.

thedruginfoguy · 2017-12-16T22:01:57+00:00

I have a lot of experience with these apps and online dating. Plain and simple, you have to set it up in your conversations before you meet. If you're not sexting before meeting up don't fucking bother.

Edit: Just read some other comments and I completely disagree. If you're only trying to "escalate" when the date starts you've already lost.

Title	Unable to escalate dates into hookups
Author	nisu_srk
Upvotes	18
Comments	19
Date	December 16, 2017 7:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7k92a5/unable_to_escalate_dates_into_hookups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/unable-to-escalate-dates-into-hookups.120215 https://theredarchive.com/post/120215

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