23M I never dated anyone currently in my 4th year of university

BigFunnyBigMoney · 2024-09-27T14:27:30+00:00

If you want to date more, you need to date more. How do you date more?

Talk to girls
Ask them on dates
Go on dates with girls who accept
Repeat

DaygameCode · 2024-09-27T13:16:58+00:00

Ok so as a seduction cold approach coach, this is i can advice:

1 - Start approaching women in campus.

The likelihood of dating women increases the more women you talk to. You also need to approach to start getting experience interacting with women and to start learning social skills.

Now you might be thinking excuses not to approach such us: “_Oh but girls are busy, they don’t wanna be interrupted, that one looks like she might not like me, they are gonna be upset cuz i’m an intruder, they didn’t give me signs that they wanted me to approach, they are gonna laugh at me or reject me harshly…_”. No worries, we can deal with that in next step.

2 - Understanding how your mind sabotages you.

Those excuses i mentioned come from either your anxiety or your ego. Anxiety is focused on helping you avoid catastrophic outcomes, she just wants you to be ready with effective skills to avoid or handle the bad outcomes, and ego is focused on making sure your self esteem doesn’t go to shit, by either seeking other people’s approval and respect or avoiding situations where you might get humbled and receive disapproval.

The cure for anxiety is preparation and the cure for your ego is prioritising humility over people’s validation or approval.

3 - Preparing the opener to avoid bad reactions.

Let’s say she is with a her female friend or group of friends. They have clearly not come to talk to you and might not appreciate that you intrude their conversation. This should not stop you, as you just have to show empathy and ask for consent:

“_Hey, listen, i don’t usually interrupt people or groups, because i know you guys didn’t come to talk to random guy, and i understand that, but the reason i’m doing it is because i just love your style (point at the girl you like) and i just knew i was gonna regret it if i didn’t try to get to know you real quick, you feel me_”.

This opener is neither short nor long, because that’s irrelevant, it’s just what needs to be said to reduce the likelihood of a negative reactions to the bare minimum. It tells her what your intention is, that it’s not gonna be long, and it relaxes their friends knowing that you are not gonna take too long grabbing their friend attention which relaxes them and will be less likely to cockblock you and asks for permission implicitly to engage with her which is respectful and mindful of their boundaries.

4 - Preparing your ego for setbacks.

The ego is scared the girls might laugh at you, that they will judge you and look down on you with disdain, disgust or skepticism,… No problem.

All you need to accept is that first your ego is no your friend here. Your job is to learn to detach yourself from your ego, rather than acting like you and your ego are one being and that you need to protect it.

Instead, you need to embrace humility lessons to your ego, as something positive because it helps you to free yourself from it and i teaches you that you need to learn something. So when a woman rejects you, instead of being defensive or being ashamed, you need to smile and literally thank her for the humility lesson she just gave you. Literally! That shows maturity, and it’s the most graceful dignified way to respond to a rejection.

It might stink a little bit if she does judge you harshly, despite thanking her for it, but once you remind yourself that she was actually just helping you to be more humble, and to remind you that maybe you need to do things better, then you don’t take it personally, and instead can just recognise her help as tough love, rather than interpreting it as maliciousness.

Want more tips like those I wrote? Then book a 100% free coaching session video call. You’ll get more cool tips like this.

ExcitableSarcasm · 2024-09-27T14:20:56+00:00

Hit the gym
Start talking to more women. Start with people you have a reason to talk to (shopkeepers on campus, same course, same societies, etc). Do smalltalk until comfortable
Get used to the idea of failure. Get used to starting interactions about something innocuous to gauge reactions, and learn how not to be stupid when it comes to persisting.

I only started dating at 22 in the summer before my last year in uni. I dated quite a bit in my final year both long and short term.

Brunoclement123 · 2024-09-27T12:24:34+00:00

Are you ugly or just average? Your experience is the most common one.

Still, college or uni is probably the last real social aggregator you can use, so I'd recommend trying to expand your social life through anything possible in uni. That MAY help you meet more girls. It gets much harder after

HomelessMilkman · 2024-09-28T07:23:42+00:00

There's a lot of guys, what makes you better than them?

You need better presentation, you need to encase yourself in diamonds.

People are self-conscious and anxious while trying to fit in, they struggle while flying under the radar. The bar is super low.

Listen, you don't have to be Marc Rebillet. However, you do have to present something with some certainty, with some self-belief and gumption behind it that will convince people that you're cool, that you have things figured out.

You're waiting for permission. 'Somone tell me what's good', 'someone tell me what to do', no. You take your personality and make it sound fucking cool. Present yourself like you know what you're doing. That's all the world is, 'frame control'; what dumb shit have you bought, what do you listen to, what do you wear, etc. don't live off second-hand self-esteem, make your own choices, believe in yourself and your opinon, be the leader, own it.

You have to dare to be cool. No one comes and gives you the crown, you have to take it.

YouveChangedToronto · 2024-09-27T12:39:58+00:00

You need to add some details - Height, weight, etc. Do you exercise? Do you care about your appearance? You're asking the impossible without the information for people to help. This might be part of your problem.

CT-2657 · 2024-09-28T04:03:20+00:00

Only you can fix that, just do it.

Excellent_Tie_5604 · 2024-09-27T12:02:43+00:00

Bro focus on placements that ain't time for dating life.

If placed well you can seek out someone in corporate life.

If didn't placed then you can find out someone in higher studies.

You have time after this time ... Now focus on placements.

killallwomen6383 · 2024-09-27T12:30:13+00:00

nothing u can do besdies get plastic surgeries

Title	23M I never dated anyone currently in my 4th year of university
Author	Haunter200
Upvotes	64
Comments	84
Date	September 27, 2024 11:44 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fqlqpg/23m_i_never_dated_anyone_currently_in_my_4th_year/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/23m-i-never-dated-anyone-currently-in-my-4th-year.1531468 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531468

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