29M. Never dated.

Expensive-Season-567 · 2026-03-31T23:37:47+00:00

Step 1: I can see that you have nsfw profile, your first step is too quit porn.

You are not horny enough. To ask a girl out and get rejected.

Sloniata · 2026-04-01T06:33:34+00:00

A 29 years old guy who never dated comes to a conclusion that good idea would be to start trying to date 20 year olds.

Buddy, try to get someone at your age bracket, try to get someone a little older, try to get someone at all.

And maybe then see if you can get 20 years old girls who have way, way more options than anyone other category of women.

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-03-31T23:29:13+00:00

You live in NYC there are people 20 years older than you dating 20 year olds.

Go read some cold approach/dating app/social circle guides and then follow the guides. Practice and get better.

abcsofattraction · 2026-04-01T04:35:46+00:00

Chinese guy, software engineer, NYC, lost 100 lbs, taking care of skin and style, attending social events, and did your first cold approach today. That’s not a guy who’s behind. That’s a guy who just started.

I’m Asian American, 5”4, and I also lost 60lb from 201lb. Let me give you the real picture.

First, stop worrying about running out of time to date 20 year olds. You’re 29, in shape, financially stable, in New York City. That’s genuinely one of the strongest positions an Asian man can be in for dating. NYC has more women than men, it’s one of the most cosmopolitan and open-minded dating markets in the world, and your career trajectory is exactly what women in that city respond to. NYC is actually ranked as one of the top 10 cities for Asian men to date for exactly these reasons.

Second, the awkward first approach is a win. Full stop. Most guys never do it. The awkwardness goes away with reps, not with more preparation.

Here’s what to focus on now. Keep the social events but start supplementing with nightlife approaches so you’re getting higher volume reps in environments where people expect to be social. The professional mixers are good for building social circle but the conversion rate to dates is slower.

For proof that this is doable for guys who look like you, here’s an infield of two Asian guys pulling two young white college women: https://youtu.be/BIbMKCVMBrU

You’ve done the hardest part already which is fixing the physical foundation. Now it’s just skill reps.

Dear_Needleworker886 · 2026-04-01T13:13:14+00:00

dude congrats on the 100lbs thats not a small thing. i went through something similar and the weirdest part is how differently people start treating you after like suddenly you exist. use that as fuel to never go back.

since you're a CS guy you'll get this - we do 80% of the hard work and then some guy whos better at talking does 20% and walks away with all the credit. dating is the exact same thing. you already did the hard part. whats left is just not being awkward in conversation and thats a learnable skill not a gift. my first time trying to talk to a girl i blanked mid sentence and literally just said "anyway" and walked away lmao.

what actually changed for me was i found this voice practice app and just ground through like 100 conversations on it before going out again. sounds weird practicing with an AI but by conversation 80 or so my brain just stopped panicking. by the time i sat across from a real person it felt like conversation 101 not conversation 1. you're in NYC with a CS salary and 100lbs down bro you just need reps.

ResentCourtship2099 · 2026-04-01T01:55:10+00:00

Just a reminder of what comes with Nature's territory

Warm-Fun5226 · 2026-04-01T02:02:43+00:00

Good stuff bro improvement comes step by step. Definitely focus on progressing your strengths and try out new things and activities. My best advice is trying the app Shawty to track progress and improve your approaches so that you build the skill much faster. You got this man

CibrecaNA · 2026-04-01T11:58:16+00:00

You shouldn't have any problems. Just keep cold approaching and if you want DM me. Updating your style is a no brainer.

Title	29M. Never dated.
Author	Some_Cat3514
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	March 31, 2026 11:22 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1s93m0d/29m_never_dated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/29m-never-dated.1576860 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576860

Comments