To cut to the chase, I missed out on dating growing up. I was too shy and had a very…let’s just say unique family upbringing with substance abuse and domestic violence. As a result, I kind of shut myself in well into college. I was too poor to get involved and live on campus and spent the majority of my time studying and playing video games. As such, as an adult I have very few friends and thus very few opportunities.

Now, I’m about to graduate college at 26, have a job lined up, and am ready to start a new chapter of my life. I’m nervous, but also happy to not be in school anymore. I’m not conventionally attractive, but feel if I hit the gym more I could seriously improve myself. That, along with my personality, could make me stand out. I’m not really interested in marriage, at least not for the next 7-8 years. Until then, I’m more wanting to date casually if possible.

My point is, I just don’t know how I’m going to find the right social environment that’ll likely result in me finding my type of girl. I’ll live in a red city of a little over 100k within a heavily religious red state and will be stuck working here for at least the next 2-3 years. Every aspect of my life is about to change. Instead of having more free time during school, most of my time will be spent at a male dominated corporate job. I’ll only truly have the weekends to do anything. Part of me wants to just isolate myself, grind, and work hard to try and move someplace else more populated with a better job.

I also am years behind people my age. Most people my age started dating over ten years ago. Many of them are married and some even have children. I have none of that. I’m 25 and still a virgin. I feel like even if I lie about it, inevitably it’ll be discovered through my inexperience and subsequent awkwardness if I ever get to that point with someone. I also just don’t know how to escalate with a girl. I can talk to them perfectly fine and banter. But how do you escalate beyond that? What do you say? Are there any good books or movies that could help me better understand this?

I guess I’m just posting here to get reassurance from any of you late bloomers out there. Specifically those who found love or really any kind of action in your mid-late 20s. What changed? What advice can you give to someone like me?