After date texting, did I fumble?

stinjoshua · 2025-05-26T17:56:33+00:00

Nothing you can do now bub. No it’s not ruined lol but you should DEFINITELY be talking to more girls. It seems like you are leaning too hard on this one person when you should be playing the field instead.

As for what to do next… absolutely nothing. Give it two weeks and if you don’t hear from her by then shoot your shot one more time. If she replies then set the next date up. If she doesn’t reply then move on. Sorry brother but this happens to all of us.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to have everything figured out. Allow yourself to fail and fumble and learn to appreciate the opportunities as they come. It’s all mindset bother.

South_Speed_8480 · 2025-05-26T18:05:26+00:00

Dude you had a good time (it seems). That’s already a win. Now pester her a tad more if you want because you never know, sometimes they magically come out again and you bang them.

Or just hunt another girl.

Above average girls do this to me all the time these 6/10s. I really can’t be bothered. So I come up with lame excuses. Ask me a few times eventually I say yes. Because maybe I’m free, I’m around anyway, I’ve had a dry spell of hot chicks for a week. So I go. Spend a bit of time with them actually they’re kinda fun and cuter in a dark cocktail bar after a few drinks and I sleep with them. Or go out with them more.

Vice versa has happened too where I pester a cute girl in a non needy way where I’m clearly taking the piss out of it: “yooooo you’re ignoring meeee helloooo?” I mean I know they’re probably not coming out I might as well be stupid about it. Guess what sometimes they’re like “nah I’m not I’ve just been busy. Wanna drinks Thursday?” You don’t have to sound like Tom Cruise from a text message and plan 30 hours before sending it.

Some of you guys take it like military training or working as a vice president at an investment bank. Dude it’s just a chick, I just went to a bar and there’s like 4 sitting alone on a quiet Monday night and 2 hot Korean tourists in front of me too. Chicks are everywhere, treat it like playing super Mario. Jump off the cliff who cares Mario comes back to your last save point right away and you can go kick a mush room again after in a different direction.

Never SA them, leave on good terms, and always keep messages especially after meeting up as evidence you did nothing legally wrong. That’s all that matters, especially in the west

chips_and_hummus · 2025-05-26T17:52:47+00:00

You’re being pretty needy but she doesn’t appear too put off by it yet. Give her some room to breathe. Don’t be so desperate and just wait til you’re back. A week before you go back message her asking her out to redeem that first round.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-05-26T18:38:35+00:00

Pull back before she does. She didn't seem turned off, but she should be at just about any moment now. If she knows you are moving to that area she could feel like you are future pacing a situation with her, which is the high beams that scare women off like deer. If you give her some breathing room the door might stay open for you.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-05-26T19:21:30+00:00

I don't really think you should say, "I like you" unless you knew for sure she liked you.**

It's best to show you like someone by how you treat another person. Besides, people love a good chase, so you don't really want to prematurely play your cards.

**Observing of one's behavior. If you feel the need to say how you felt about a person, it should always be in person because a lot of times its more important on how you say something rather than what was said.

Complete_Wave_9315 · 2025-05-26T20:13:54+00:00

I don’t think you messed up. She said she was working, but seems like she is up for another/into you?

topher_atx · 2025-05-26T21:43:34+00:00

Just my opinion, but I think women on dating apps either use them to interview lots of applicants so your success rate might be low because she's interviewing a bunch of dudes, or maybe they're using the apps to hookup with guys kind of out of their league. Or maybe they're "interviewing" a bunch of guys out of their league that just want to hookup and they're deluded into thinking they have more options than they really have.

Personally I don't like the whole interview vibe so I'm trying to stop using the apps (the convenience is tempting so I constantly delete and reinstall them, but haven't gone on an internet date in awhile).

Anyway, I wouldn't be too concerned about fumbling. These chicks on the apps are interviewing tons of guys and usually aren't THAT great anyway. In reality, attractive people don't need dating apps

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-27T00:52:23+00:00

Nothign too big, but you began to chase a little bit. Asking once was enough asking another just because your plane got delayed was a bit unnecesary as it allowed her to say no twice which was something you shold have seen it coming considering that people generally don't improvise things like that so quick more often than not.

gtaIIIstan · 2025-05-26T21:10:37+00:00

After a (way too long 4hr) first date,

Why do you say this? Dates can be 4 hours. But there's usually a qualitative difference between a 4 hour date where a guy and a gal sit across from a dinner table and have platonic small talk, and a 4 hour date that involves multiple locations, a sense of spontaneity/adventure and that ends with a romp back at your place or hers. Doubly so if you were just passing through. This means it was time to make as much impact as you could, not play it safe and not make moves. And that probably has way more to do with why things have gone south than anything else that comes after here over text. What men like you need to understand is that sex creates massive investment in these situations and jump starts a relationship (whatever form that takes). If you had it, maybe then there's a justification for staying in touch and syncing up again next time she's in your town or she in yours. But a date that was just safe and pleasant and platonic, well, that doesn't generate much investment at all.

Me: Hey, I had a really great time and I like you. I don’t have to leave here until around 3–4 PM. Want to meet up for a little bonus date before I go? (she hearted this)

Never say "I like you" after one date ever again in your dating career. All that is required is keeping up the good vibe and asking her out again. This will communicate that you're interested in her.

Besides, there's no reason why you should be firing blind here. You said you were on a "way too long 4 hour date." OK. At some point on that date, you already should've been getting a sense of her schedule the following day and also making it clear that you were around and until when. You should've pinged for plans then and there while she was right there in front of you. And again, better that you make the most of the time you're together than being needy and trying to hastily try to make something happen after the fact.

Me: Hey! My trip to [other town] got postponed, so I can stay in town a bit longer. I think it’d be nice to see you again, if you’re up for it. No pressure if not, but I’ve got time and I’m tempted.

Now you just sound incongruent and like you even extended your trip just to see her, a woman you went on ONE date with. This, again, will be interpreted only as you being needy and way too overinvested. With a woman that from the sounds of it, you didn't even kiss or sleep with.

Title	After date texting, did I fumble?
Author	KongoBongoMongoKongo
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	May 26, 2025 5:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kw0gvv/after_date_texting_did_i_fumble/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-date-texting-did-i-fumble.1553157 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553157

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