Am I overthinking date ideas? Does it really matter what you do?

hunterpua · 2025-05-08T18:50:50+00:00

You are actually the best person to identify what kind of date to go on, because you are the one getting to know her.

It's really that simple, if you want good date ideas, find out by finding out about her.

You shouldn't just be having random conversations that you forget about 2 hours later. You should actually be learning things about each other.

And here's a pro tip, instead of talking to her to try to find out what she likes, talk to her to find out what both of you like.

In other words, things you have in common.

That way, when you guys go on a date, you'll enjoy it just as much as her.

And it doesn't have to be you going to places with each other or doing activities that other people have set up.

You two can set things up yourselves.

I've gone on dates with girls where we took photos of nature together.

I've gone on dates with girls where we drove around and slowly bought food at random spots, like an appetizer at a convenience store, a first course at a fastfood drive through, a palate cleanser at a juice shop, a main course from a food truck, a dessert from an ice cream shop, etc.

And who could forget old faithful, Netflix and Chill?

I make that a bit more fun by buying the snacks while she provides the "cinema."

Try to make your dates more collaborative efforts instead of something you work on by yourself where you're essentially just trying too hard to impress her.

And ideally that would start in the first conversation.

When I'm going for a girl's number I don't just randomly talk to her then at some arbitrary time say I think she's cool and ask for her number.

Its much more seamless than that.

For most of the conversation I'm finding out about things we have in common and not shying away from talking about specific activities, and places we both like.

And most of the time, here's how I end up with a girl's number:

Through the conversation we get talking about an activity or a place we like, I can be the one who brought it up or she can be the one, it doesn't really matter, then we discuss it and both agree that it's something awesome and something we'd like to do, then I simply suggest we do that together.

The girl who I did photography with told me she liked photography when we first met, the girl I drove around buying food from random places with was in a small town similar to what you're describing and told me she was bored of all the typical date spots when we first met, one of the girls I Netflix and Chilled with talked about Anime movies I should check out.

Oh but I don't jump to the number just yet.

We're already talking, might as well plan out the date right there. So that's what we do.

And when everything is settled, that's when we exchange contacts.

You already have a date planned, only logical to exchange contacts at that point.

Oh and at no point do I even say its a date or that I want to take her on a date.

You don't need to declare anything. Her knowing you're on a date is not a pre-requisite for intimacy. All you need is for her to be generally comfortable with you and for there to be sexual tension between you two.

When both those things are present, you can have sex even if you two just went out for a walk.

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-05-08T22:58:20+00:00

If you're just trying to get laid, then the best date ideas are low investment. Chill ideas like coffee, drinks, or chilling at the beach/park if your city has a good one for it.

If you're trying to build a relationship, then follow hunterpua's advice

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-08T19:16:46+00:00

Definitely spend the time getting to know her. The time spent should be useful and go beyond just entertainment. It may not be a job interview per se, but you want to observe her, be a good active listener, and try to assess whether or not you'd like to continue spending time with her. Be careful about jumping into intimacy without knowing her.

Too many guys will have sex and then skip out on much of the screening process because they feel they've already solved the puzzle. Have fun, but make sure you get to know her. If you sense a future, continue to request dates, move towards a relationship and further continue to progress/establish goals. Regular dates should continue even if you end up marrying. Don't stop being the guy she liked on your first few dates if it moves forward, but also make sure you are congruent with yourself and are not putting on an act/persona just to woo her.

ClitPlayaBootySlappa · 2025-05-08T21:03:45+00:00

Just tell her to come over to your place or to go to hers, so you can give her some dick. I'm serious.

She doesn't give a fuck about the dates. She wants you to pound her tight wet pussy.

Make it easy for her to get that.

Far-End470 · 2025-05-10T02:53:56+00:00

Yeah man, it really does matter. Especially at the start of a relationship.

What is it that YOU like to do? Take her, make it fun, teach her. Plan some sneaky shit. Hide a picnic basket at some cool spot down the trail, and take her on a surprise picnic at sunset.

klogro8 · 2025-05-08T18:50:44+00:00

You don’t need ten unique locations, you need one space where you made her feel seen. Playfulness, presence, even stupid confidence, that’s the magic. If she’s laughing, leaning in, and vibing with you? It could be in a Dollar General parking lot. Doesn’t fucking matter.

Title	Am I overthinking date ideas? Does it really matter what you do?
Author	150420throwaway
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	May 8, 2025 6:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1khx32g/am_i_overthinking_date_ideas_does_it_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-overthinking-date-ideas-does-it-really-matter.1551741 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551741

Comments