Are "shit tests" even worth passing?

seduce_my_anus · 2015-01-11T05:15:30+00:00

What’s the difference between shit testing someone and simply doubting them? What’s the difference between a woman making fun of your job to see if you’ll defend yourself to her or her legitimately being unsure if that’s what you do for a living?

The answer: Her intentions. One is manipulative. One is simply being genuinely uncertain and wanting to know more about you. BOTH are done because she’s interested in you, but we’ll leave that alone for a second and focus on the manipulation.

How do you tell the difference between a woman who is being manipulative (shit testing) and a woman who is genuinely curious about you (interested)?

So the friendly way she jokes about your hair is suddenly manipulation. That honest question about whether you miss your ex sometimes is manipulation. That concern that you don’t speak to your mother enough is manipulation.

This is a shitty way to live and a shitty way to date women.

Yes, everyone is manipulative some of the time, and some women are manipulative a lot of the time. But walking around freaking out that women are shit-testing you all the time is labeling them all guilty without a trial.

You are choosing to interpret everything women say to you as manipulative and emotional, and then go around complaining that all women are manipulative and emotional.

The issue here isn’t women. It’s you. You don’t trust them.

I want to encourage you to stop making assumptions about people, especially women, and start taking them by their actions point blank. You asked earlier what vulnerability looks like. Well one way to be vulnerable is to be open about your expectations and values. You commented that vulnerability is “soft” and “weak,” but on the contrary my friend, if it was so weak, then why is it so hard for you to do it?

Here’s my take on shit tests: Who cares? Shit tests only have power over you if you’re overly concerned about her opinion of you. If you’re truly confident in who you are, then you shouldn't feel the need to prove it to her, especially some sassy broad you just met.

The point is: If shit tests bother you, it’s because you’re weak.

I did not write this. All credit goes to Mark Manson.

rmbarnes · 2015-01-11T06:18:48+00:00

This a difference between a few shit tests and a woman who just has an abrasive / difficult personality. Shit tests are hard wired, much like it is for a man to stare at boobies. You just have to deal with them. If a woman is generally abrasive, move on.

new_cummer · 2015-01-11T23:16:56+00:00

I see shit tests as "every crisis is an opportunity" kind of thing. Your position in the interaction always changes after a shit test, you're either higher or lower on someones iwant list. I love them because they make things move forward, doesn't matter if it's for better or worse as long as it's not stale. Plus you can have a lot of fun with them if you have a little case of fuckarounds.

As for shit tests being manipulative, I highly disagree. As mentioned here, it's the intentions that count. It's like fire, if you know how to handle it you can use it to feed yourself. Otherwise you crash and burn.

PrecisionHat · 2015-01-12T18:44:47+00:00

All women engage in manipulative behavior. Shit tests do not exist. They are made up by men who actually spend their time dreaming up ways to "break" their "game".
Life is a shit test if you are heterosexual. LOL. Who the hell would want some boring girl, anyway?

puaCurveBall · 2015-01-12T19:11:53+00:00

You could simply reframe "shit test" as "congruency test". Everyone who isn't dangerously naive does it.

I think shit tests are extremely high quality behavior, because it shows they've been around the block and are questioning whether people are who they say they are.

Title	Are "shit tests" even worth passing?
Author	Eurasianpersuasion01
Upvotes	0
Comments	13
Date	January 11, 2015 4:31 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2s16bf/are_shit_tests_even_worth_passing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-shit-tests-even-worth-passing.1382146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382146

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