Assess this texting convo: what went wrong?

LingeringGnome · 2018-12-01T01:04:52+00:00

Enjoyed the brief banter X"

REDUNDANT. She knows you did.

"It was nice meeting you too"

REDUNDANT. She knows you think this.

"You said you were an X major or X major?"

"X major"

"Cool, you must be good at XYZ lol"

"I try my best not to X, but sometimes it doesn't work"

"Well you seemed pretty chill when we talked... is your X studying at X too?"

"Yeah X is"

"Nice, you guys must be pretty close not to XYZ then"

"Lol yeah its more comfortable"

YOU DONT CARE ABOUT HER SCHOOL WORK. this is phony, nice guy behavior. In-authentic, dull.

"Aww thats sweet. What plans you got going on tomorrow?"

"Sweet?" No. "Awwww"????? No. You are a bull elk, not a 13 year old girl.

Never ask a woman what her plans are. Just make a direct, firm invite with place and time. YOU ARE THE PARTY: "Let's grab a drink at Bar X, 9pm tomorrow night."

"I'm prepping for X all day tomorrow"

"Lol that's so X. I have to run a bunch of errands before my folks get back from X"

"Oh cool. Did they go for X?"

"Yeah my X lives there. Was going to go but couldn't bc of work stuff"

"Aw that sucks"

"Well then we probably wouldn't have met so things work out :)" (NOTE: In retrospect this might have been a fuck up line given how short the interaction was and signified lack of abundance)

"Lol I guess so"

"Lol yeah we'll see, g2g but we'll talk more later. Have a good week"

"Thanks! You too"

(5 days later)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

So much boring chitchat you don't really care about.

(5 days later)

Me: "Hey hows your week going? Just finished up X"

(no response, next day)

Me: "... assume you've melted from (weather). may send X"

no response.

Hahahaha. Oh man.

Next time you get a woman's number:

You: Hey it's X, the charming guy from the bus stop.

Her: lol, okay.

You: Let's grab a drink at Bar X tomorrow night, 9. They have a strict dress code, so no mom jeans, k?

LOOK AT WHAT I JUST WROTE, and compare it to your texting.

Playful.
To the point AND congruent with your desires.
Conveys that you don't really care about outcome.

do you know what your texting says about you? EVERYTHING. A man who is confident, honest, and to-the -point in his texts is probably that way IN THE BEDROOM as well. This is important to 9.s and 10;s. It doesn't matter as much for 6's.

OniABS · 2018-12-01T03:38:52+00:00

You wrote X too much. J/k but seriously you censored everything.

As to advice, I think others cover it well. You're really just chatty, unconfident and have no solid plans. Are you looking for a chat buddy or a f-- buddy?

The trouble with early relationships is women aren't looking for a chat buddy at all; because there are better men who are more direct. She probably got the impression that you're just looking to chat--and lost interest.

Think of how your text are different from texting a dude. Then you'll understand where you went wrong. IF you texted a dude that, I wouldn't think you were gay at all. Does that make sense? You need to text like you're texting a woman--not like you're texting a man.

Like I just texted my male friend with "What you up to this week?" You get what I'm saying? In which case, she's thinking--maybe he wants to be a friend? Ok well I'm single and don't have time to babysit a male friendship right now.

So where you messed up is probably here:

"Lol yeah we'll see, g2g but we'll talk more later. Have a good week"

You were pushing it with the whole long drawn out dialogue on nothing but at least she probably thought it was going to go somewhere. But once you say "We'll talk more. Have a good week" and then radio silence for 5 fucking days only to go with "How's your week going?" Sorry man, but that's stupid.

I radio silence but then I ask "Have you heard of XYZ Festival?" And I invite her out. I don't radio silence and say "How are you?" unless I know she was sick or something and, like you, I just want to touch bases. But don't touch bases without some sort of plan--otherwise it's just awkward.

Hope that helps!

xxsimplyjosh · 2018-12-01T07:46:12+00:00

you dragged way too long lol, texting should be used only to set up schedules for hangout not to go long-winded chat because imo these things are better in person as there's more emotion, body language conveyed and seems more meaningful rather than boring.

poet_of_ambition · 2018-12-01T00:17:48+00:00

There should be no such thing as a text convo. Text and FB Message are only to set up meetings in person. Also, your intuition is most likely spot on. It was probably too early to suggest meeting her was such a great thing, unless done correctly (in a smooth or funny way). But for the future, no text convos. Text to meet up, and do so in <6 messages.

What I would have done is "Hey great meeting you, let's meet up sometime." She may or may respond. If she does not respond, feel free to wait a week or so and then say "Hey what are you up to this weekend." If she responds, she'll probably make it clear whether or not she's willing to meet up.

dontstopmenow1966 · 2018-12-01T11:02:34+00:00

Hey, Rachel, how are you doing?
Who is this, my name is not Rachel?
Sorry, my mistake. Are you the science girl?
Yes. Well,it's kind of funny that I called you. Why?

metalkhan · 2018-12-01T12:53:57+00:00

Even I got bored reading this. Try and stand out from the pack mate. Texting sucks generally though, don't stress yourself.

pilipinonguci11 · 2018-12-01T20:07:00+00:00

You came off as way to needy and desperate in the texts.

Trust me on this, only use texting for logistics. Especially when you've just met the girl or you've only gone on one or two dates with her.

The reason why is because it's difficult to properly convey emotions through text. Also, asking her bullshit questions over text like "How's your week going?" isn't going to fucking cut it.

If you wanted to hangout with her, you should've just gone in with the following (this is an example, obviously, but your texts with girls should follow a similar format when you first meet them):

You: "Hey, it's NAME. I'm the guy you met at LOCATION. Great to meet you"

Her: "Hey NAME! Great meeting you too!"

You: "I'm going to get some lunch this Saturday at LOCATION at TIME, would be great to hangout"

Her: "Sure! I'll be busy during that time, but maybe one hour later?"

You: "Yeah, that works for me. See you then!"

Her: "Cool :)"

Your texts should be brief and to the point. You can ask her all the questions you want about herself when you actually meet up with her in person.

Title	Assess this texting convo: what went wrong?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	43
Date	December 1, 2018 12:11 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a1y0jm/assess_this_texting_convo_what_went_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/assess-this-texting-convo-what-went-wrong.1457756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457756

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