Avoid froend zone without being sleazy - examples?

BigSnips · 2019-01-13T17:50:38+00:00

If you don't want to be friend-zoned don't act like her friend, act like the dude she fucks. I won't go into the details of that here.

More practically, if she's in her 30s she has been around the block a few times so you probably should have kissed her (at least) on the first date.

Going forward, change your second date from going out to dinner to making her dinner at your place. Tell her to bring a bottle of wine. Make sure your place is clean and your room is dimly lit. Be a good host. Take her to pound town after dinner.

Unfortunately if you want to avoid the friend-zone you're going to have to be a bit "sleazy". You can't make an omlette without cracking a few eggs.

GLHF

totalwpierdol · 2019-01-13T18:09:26+00:00

It seems like you're falling into the trap of worrying about getting friendzoned too much. I feel you, because I am also guilty of this. I was worried on dates about not being bold, sexual, confident and cocky enough.

ClownPrince6 · 2019-01-13T19:33:10+00:00

Kiss her as soon as possible.

TwoTinders · 2019-01-13T20:40:39+00:00

I recently read The Charisma Myth, and one of the central premises in there is that it's a lot easier to focus on having the right mindset and presence of mind (ie, know what you want and be in the moment) than to try to force all the subtle ways that plays out in your behaviour. IMO this also makes it much easier to avoid being 'sleazy,' if that's your intention.

I definitely agree with most of the responses here already, and you should take some time to work out what it means for you and internalize that, but when you're on the date, focus on the date.

eg, my last 'conversion' happened because my driving thought was simply "I want to spend more time with you," so I accompanied her home for a few miles in the complete opposite direction of my place and ended up getting invited in. Now, I was aware of that possibility, but I didn't feel like I was playing her because I was following a 'pure' motivation, and I was ready to go home if it didn't pan out. So if you want to be intimate and not sleazy, just meditate on that and act accordingly.

LingeringGnome · 2019-01-14T01:30:20+00:00

1st date went well, 'coffee' turned into hours of good conversation.

you're friend-zoning yourself with coffee dates and hours of chatting.

Lots but not all signs of flirting from her, hair touching, eye contact, smiling a lot, neck extending/displaying, happy to be touched (arms/shoulders), touched me once or maybe twice, held hands walking back to the cars, hugged at the end. 2nd date planned, dinner.

you friend-zone yourself when you hug instead of going for the kiss on a first date.

I'm recently out of LTR of 10+ years, really not used to dating and am concerned about getting friend zoned, advice appreciated for steering the date/conversation to avoid that?

Details, both early thirties, educated.

Go to the gym, lift weights. Read more books than you watch TV. Keep your first dates to a BAR or eatery, and a drink ONLY. If you like the woman, ask her home within an hour. If she says no, end the date in a relaxed way.

be honest when you talk. examples of what a confident, sexually-calibrated man does, and a nice guy:

Nice guy and honest guy are at a bar with a stunning woman. Her top makes her cleavage ridiculous. She's got a small tattoo there, too that keeps drawing your eye in. I mean, her tits are all these guys can think about. And who wouldn't?

Here's how they respond:

Nice Guy: So, what classes are you taking this semester? What is your favorite philosopher?

Honest Guy: Haha, your shirt is really damn distracting. I'm not complaining though.

DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

The Honest Guy who does well with women is being COMPLETELY congruent with what he's thinking. I call this "shocking honesty", and it accomplishes several things AT ONCE with only a few words: It's confident, charming, to-th-point and dominant AND transparent, and it SEXUALIZES playfully, instantly. In one fucking sentence.

Nice guys hide their intentions and thoughts in endless chit chat and friend-zone themselves. This is a really terrible tactic that conveys lack of confidence and honesty, which is far, far creepeir than being charmingly direct.

Look man. There are no 12 steps of 3d chess to play here. Amused Mastery, the top level of game, is just a combo of confidence, honesty, and sexual experience. That's it.

raj_ams · 2019-01-14T06:58:26+00:00

Almost every piece of advice boils down to this.

Always show your true emotions. Don’t be sleazy though. Women go through lots of bad dates. If you would like to fuck her don’t act as if that thought never crossed your mind.
Bring sex out in a discussion in a non threatening way. For example Almost every sentence has a double entendre’s. Read up some Lil Johnny jokes and you will get my drift.
The hardest piece of advice to execute that I have yet to master is - be ready to walk away. The more invested you are the more clingy you behave. You don’t want friend who are clingy and always dote on you like your mom.
build connection - don’t just chit chat get to know her - sex is always better this way.

KindnessWins · 2019-01-13T22:41:23+00:00

Wrap arm around neck from front or behind. Not tight!! Just in an ok amount. Then kiss forehead not lips. If from back, kiss then slowly bite shoulder.

Look at all the things she did for Christ's sake. It looks like She's being the one friendzoned not u. Personally I think you're a dick, no offense. She probably went home and felt miserable. She gave you all these ioi's and you basically cold shouldered her.

Put yourself in her shoes for a second. Let's say you were her and after all your signals all you got was a hug and a handshake. How would that make u feel?

Lyvewyrez · 2019-01-14T10:20:06+00:00

flirt and tease outrageously. Challenge her. A lover will stimulate her mind as well as her body. Be bold with your flirting, a friend would be too cowardly/awkward to do it.

Lyvewyrez · 2019-01-14T09:58:36+00:00

flirt and tease outrageously. Challenge her. A lover will stimulate her mind as well as her body. Be bold with your flirting, a friend would be too cowardly/awkward to do it.

Alex123_UK · 2019-01-26T20:03:38+00:00

Well the 2nd date didn't go to plan. I pretty much froze up & became a bumbling idiot. She hugely overshared some really quite distressing information which feaked me out and I was not comfortable talking about in public, I didn't really handle it that well, I invited her back to mine for coffee to talk about it, she didn't want to.

Still lots of good body language & she hung around for me to kiss her at the end of the date which I did after playing/holding her hands etc weirdly she neither objected nor kissed me back. Anyway, she blew me off the next day & I'm totally gutted, god knows why I'm so invested in her after knowing her for such a short period of time.

I'm putting it down to practice and trying to set up more dates. . . Naturally that's not going well now of course.

Title	Avoid froend zone without being sleazy - examples?
Author	Alex123_UK
Upvotes	13
Comments	25
Date	January 13, 2019 5:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aflexj/avoid_froend_zone_without_being_sleazy_examples/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/avoid-froend-zone-without-being-sleazy-examples.1299231 https://theredarchive.com/post/1299231

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