Beautiful Woman Problem

lookma24 · 2024-05-31T17:42:30+00:00

Selection Bias

If your self-identity is tied up in being beautiful you will attract men who value beauty. If your are trying to seduce men who are looking for beauty, your are setting yourself up for men who want physical relationships, which is most commonly short-term relationships.

If most commonly men are trying to control you, maybe you are attracting and not rejecting controlling men.

If your self-identity rejects seeing yourself as just beautiful, and is instead also invested in things like emotional maturity, growth, connection, a clear set of values, mutual respect, etc., you will attract different kinds of men, and more easily say no to men who do not value you the same way.

Here is a list of 4 things to keep doing over and over to better learn to LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF. An iterative process to get absolutely clear on who you are and what you want more of (and less of) in your life. Never stop doing this, it always grows and goes deeper.

Make a list of all thing traits you bring besides physical beauty
Make a list of how you want to feel in a relationship (seen, heard, respected, etc) - get as clear as you can on the FEELING/experience you want.
Notice when you feel/experience more like how you want to feel and note the characteristics of the people you are interacting with. Look for more of those characteristics.
Notice when you feel/experience less like how you want to feel and note the characteristics of the people you are interacting with. Look for less of those characteristics.

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-31T17:27:03+00:00

Maybe you don’t have an interesting personality or you have an unattractive character.

Known_Leadership_239 · 2024-05-31T18:37:19+00:00

You schould more respectful to yourself be. Don't sleep with evry guy you date, I would say dont sleep with a guy 3 months after starting him to date. And you will see the respective oder disinterested man. The first one likes you really and have respect to you

bonjarno65 · 2024-05-31T18:00:20+00:00

You sure you're actually beautiful? Men and women always claim they are super hot when they are not or are just average. A lot of people have inflated self images

bannedcanceled · 2024-05-31T21:10:12+00:00

How old are you?

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-06-01T04:32:12+00:00

Well, it sounds like you're looking for LTR advice and that's not really what this subreddit is for. Most folks here are trying to get to a first date.

That said, I've been married for nearly 15 years so I might be able to give some perspective.

What happens in the months while you're dating? What would you say is a common pattern among your previous boyfriends?

FWIW, sometimes things just don't work out and it isn't anyone's fault. You just find out you're not compatible with each other.

My long term relationships have consisted of men who only try to control me.

Is that what you want? Some women want to be the dominant one in relationships and others want to be more passive and let the man take charge. What do you want.

If this post gets removed before you respond, feel free to message me.

SecretComments · 2024-06-04T23:09:01+00:00

This might sound harsh but, well, men with any level of success and experience that isn't near-zero select for sex based on looks but for relationships moreso based on personality, attitude, common goals/habits/hobbies, and other, deeper, compatibility based things.

So, I can say I've slept with a good number of very beautiful women, but some of them either turned me off by their behavior later on, showed too much focus on beauty for my interests (matter of taste, I like girls who wouldn't let themselves go, not girls who go right to Sephora on payday). At the end of the day, many men would sleep with, say, a model or an actress, partly for clout/status/showboating, partly because, hey, a good body might make sex feel better. But....even a relatively average man might not want to deal with the chaos and difficulty of, say, dating a model or actress long-term, managing those things. It's fundamentally a different idea. Commitment and all that.

As somebody who's been terribly averse to commitment most of the time, I can say, the beauty DOES matter but it's actually somewhat low on the totem pole, so if you lead with, see yourself as, and focus on the beauty component, but you're not making an effort to be witty, interesting, sweet, etc....most guys will stop liking you pretty quickly. Or else, the ones who would want more aren't going to care about your physical status as much as the ones who want you for a night.

miyass_miyass · 2024-06-01T09:21:12+00:00

Has nothing to do with being beautiful or “intimidating”

Generally when I see this problem it’s that the girl gets stuck on guys rather than nexting them

I hear all the time how beautiful and perfect I snd have even been told “I love you” within the first couple dates so I really get my self esteem pumped up

This is your ego talking

Title	Beautiful Woman Problem
Author	Judgy_hobby
Upvotes	0
Comments	32
Date	May 31, 2024 5:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d512a0/beautiful_woman_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/beautiful-woman-problem.1520163 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520163

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