Being Alpha without coming across as such a douchebag?

HelloHiHello · 2012-09-04T01:23:25+00:00

Being "alpha" has nothing to do with being a douche. In fact, you can track your progress – if you feel like a douche when you think you're being "alpha," you're not being "alpha."

Reason why I keep putting that in quotes is the concept comes back to bite us.

Out on the town, we're always thinking "am I being 'alpha' right now?"

It's ridiculous.

It's really about being a man with a purpose. Someone who has defined what they want in life, has absolute iron integrity and has boundaries for those he interacts with.

It's very easy to be polite, friendly, kind, courteous, in touch with femininity, and still be "alpha." In fact, that's the only way you CAN be.

If you don't want to pick up random chicks at parties and bars, don't. It's that simple.

Ask yourself, "what do I want?" Then watch and learn from people who have what you want and do what they do.

puff_of_fluff · 2012-09-04T05:06:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ikkake · 2012-09-04T08:40:26+00:00

You making the same mistake I did. I want to say I'm still very much a beginner in all this but I see the changes already, and they are significant.

You don't become "Alpha" (I use quotes as this is not really alpha, beta etc. smiliarly as in animal world - it means are you a valuable person or not, and notice how I don't say valuable to women, I mean in general) by practicing tricks and mind games, you become alpha by investing and improving yourself so you are much more approachable, interesting, attractive and valuable to other people without any obvious actions from your side while the encounter happens. This is what people commonly refer to as confidence.

And here is the whole trick as far as i understand it - you do it from within, first you focus on your interios and exterior - this is the first step, the foundation, the principle of being great with people, and people include women.

Sort out your inner problems, phobias, traumas, close your old relationships properly, free yourself from your past burdens - this sound like a voodoo mumbo jumbo therapy bullshit, but all it really means is stop dwelling in the past or future, start focusing on present.

Sort out your house/room, start doing thing you dislike, wash up always after you finish your food, every time, no excuses, make up your bed every day, always take a shower, get yourself a hygiene tools, a hair product if your hair is long, read some hygiene guides, start flossing, brush teeth regularly etc. etc. Stop making excuses to not take care of your hygiene and mind.

Start working out, and no excuses. Pick up a program, learn about diet, start doing it. Not for looks, although its a great side effect - it's for your health, your testosterone level, posture and most important, the feeling of constant high that your body rewards you with for taking care of it - it feels godly. This is insane amount of non verbal communication signals - people sense it, women sense your testosterone, they sense your health, is it by your hair, your fingernails or your body movements - this is not something I make up, this is how biologiaclly programmed we are.

Start reading guides how to wear clothes, what does it mean to fit and match them properly, learn what to wear for different occasions, and for your age, or rather the age you want to be percieved at, and based on that throw away all the stuff that you keep in your wardrobe, invest money in the new stuff. There is a great sentence someone told me once, and it really stuck with me: "Always leave your house looking like you would like to look when you are about to meet the love of your life"

Pick up material on manners, intersocial dynamics, being asertive which is very very important for being confident. Start being nice to people, but it doesn't mean start making stuff for them even if you don't want to. Be assertive, which means that when you don't want to do something, don't do it but leanr how to refuse other person politely, yet definitively. Start smiling to people on the street, start chatting to everyone who comes into your zone - always tell people to have a nice day, start using Mr. and Mrs. to anyone you encounter, doesn't matter is it your boss or a homeless person on the street. Respect other people as much as you respect yourself, and you should respect yourself a lot by this point. Learn how to defuse arguments, how to argue properly, learn how to use body langauge to communicate conciously.

Next step is start comfortably cross into other people comfort zones, without making them feel distressed. This is where so called kino comes in. Always make sure you are shaking somones hand when you meet them, is it first time or if its your old friend. Use a shoulder touch when you want to show them something etc. It will feel awkward at start and it will cause awkward istuation untill you stop feeling awkward, you will start being confident about it, and people wont feel like you are intruding them.

Notice how I have not mention women specifically at any point. The reason is, to be good at seducing women you need to be good at seducing people, and I mean all of them, the good the bad and the ugly, and to do that you need to first seduce yourself. You need to free yourself from your bad habits, unatractive properties, you need to be able to really really like yourself, as that's the only way other people will be able to like you, and that's the essence of confidence. Only way to get it is to get rid of stuff you don't like yourself, which is very obvious, but not many people get that.

Once you get through all that hard process, you wont even need to learn about women much, as people will actually start approaching you, and like i said before, people includes women.

I started this process relatively recently, I'm still on a path to all I'm preaching right now, but I can tell you, the difference is incredible, and it happens in a matter of weeks! Every change you make in yourself for better seems to be reflected in the society ten folds. And the most amazing thing - that feeling, that pressure of having women in your life, of having somone to be with you to complete you, the urge for sex, for companionship - it fades away, I'm feeling more and more free from it, and the seduction of women, and their companionship, becomes a choice, and option, something I choose to do when I feel like it. It feels awesome.

This is how you become good at sedution without being a douchebag.

throwawaypeeyouaye · 2012-11-30T23:53:02+00:00

I always thought of being alpha as being comfortable with yourself and your own life. Being comfortable/satisfied with your life might be pushing it, but as long as you're making the effort to reach your goals. There is no static definition of being alpha.

TheIslander829 · 2012-09-04T00:41:49+00:00

I don't want to have to act like someone I'm not just to get laid.

Sorry, bro. Not much I can do to help if that's your starting point. If what you are now, and the way you act now are not yielding the results you want, then the logical thing to do is to change.

I don't want to pick up random chicks at parties and bars

Then you won't get lots of sex.

If you don't change you'll keep yielding the same results forever. That's fine and dandy if it's what you want.

What I'm hearing from your argument is "I want the results you have, but I don't want to do what it takes to get them".

However, I may be mistaken or have misunderstood what you said. We're here to help, but you're saying you don't want our help.

TheIslander829 · 2012-09-04T00:55:47+00:00

for lack of a better word, a douche.

Ah... That fucking word...

It's what game-haters call guys with game...

Here, read this blog entry at UMan http://www.theuniversityofman.com/study-a-broad-program/

Then you can proceed to add the following blogs to our reading list if you want.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com

http://flyfreshandyoung.wordpress.com

http://theislander829.wordpress.com (this one is mine, I started not long ago)

Title	Being Alpha without coming across as such a douchebag?
Author	puff_of_fluff
Upvotes	48
Comments	29
Date	September 3, 2012 11:49 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zb2kr/being_alpha_without_coming_across_as_such_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-alpha-without-coming-across-as-such-a.1338516 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338516

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