Best response when she turns down an invitation?

2010-11-16T04:56:02+00:00

Next time: "We're studying at Starbucks tonight. 7pm. Come join us!"

Your original txt looks like a msg you send out to a group of people...in which case it often doesn't invoke a response. Make sure she thinks you typed that that up specifically for her.

If I don't get a response, I assume they aren't coming. In the rare case where they still show up and I've decided to change plans, I handle that accordingly ("I didn't hear back from you! we decided to ______ instead. come join us").

If this happens to me (no response), I MAY try inviting them once more to something (depending on whether or not I've gotten good IOIs from before). If the same thing happens again...NEXT.

ladyhawwk · 2010-11-16T08:19:24+00:00

How do you respond to being turned down??

I won't reply in this situation. You might even make her sweat because she won't know if you got the message or not. I would wait a week and try again but with a stronger frame.

Plus, you shouldn't tell her if you are going to be late. Just make her wait.

Box-Monkey · 2010-11-16T08:33:13+00:00

You brush it off. Water off a duck's back, my man. You shouldn't be phased by this one girl possibly flaking, especially since you dont' know if soemthing came up or you're actually being blown off. Either way, keep acting like you should be acting, aka nonchalant, cool, scarce, and doing what you do because you want to do it.

If i were you, I just wouldn't reply back to that text of hers, and I'm not entirely sure why you decided to text the "Imma be 10 min late" text other than to confirm that she was going, in which case that is still not the approach you want. You shouldn't care whether she shows up, it's her loss if she doesn't. Get into this mind frame and matters like this will wash away.

Lojak · 2010-11-16T01:21:09+00:00

In a duh moment it occurs to me that calling is appropriate here- but that would have needed to be a phone call the night before. Calling during the day while classes are going on is a pretty much direct to voicemail affair. But people generally text all the time in class and I know this girl does so maybe it wasn't as out of step as it looks.

LoveHotel · 2010-11-16T02:56:21+00:00

Here ya go - text game: how to improve

icky_boo · 2010-11-16T06:21:22+00:00

If your phone and network supports it then set it to recieve sms receipts. Also maybe she just didn't get your sms? I've had delays for sms's that took upto 2 days.

philosarapter · 2010-11-16T15:34:19+00:00

Well i'd avoid the whole "we're studying at 8." and be like "you wanna meet up to study at 8?" to actually know if shes coming or not. It sounds kinda pretentious if you are just telling her what she's doing.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-16T19:25:16+00:00

"We're studying at Starbucks tonight 7pm" is not direct text game. It makes it sound like you and a group of unknown third parties are going to study, and it doesn't even explicitly invite her. That's why she did not respond.

"Hey you should come study with me tonight at Starbucks at 7!" is direct text game.

In this case, I would just forget about this whole interaction and start again. Ask her out again using better direct text game, hopefully after some in-person conversation to help her not dwell on this slight roadbump.

IMO, asking a girl to study is not ideal because it's not really a date, especially if she intends to study, she'll just be sitting around reading and not receptive to kino/conversation. You may be better off asking her to something better.

rmbarnes · 2010-11-16T13:51:46+00:00

I've never liked the whole PUA thing of pretending you're going to be somewhere whether she is and inviting her to join you. Just ask her out on a proper fucking date.

stagly_ordonez · 2010-11-16T03:53:31+00:00

i don't know if this is considered 'needy' or not, but my usual response to something like that is:

"i tend to take a no response = you can't make it. so i don't show up"

but that is when i'm talking about setting up a meeting. not a "we're doing this, you should join" situation.

edit: to elaborate.. i set up a specific date in person. the day before the agreed upon date, i text. if i don't get a response in (x amount of time) i'll send that message.

Lojak · 2010-11-16T03:21:35+00:00

Why don't you want her to know you're interested in her?

EthicalReasoning · 2010-11-16T04:34:27+00:00

you need to be a lot more assertive to begin with. and if you're interested in a girl, you need to let it be known immediately.

Title	Best response when she turns down an invitation?
Author	Lojak
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	November 16, 2010 1:09 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e6ovl/best_response_when_she_turns_down_an_invitation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/best-response-when-she-turns-down-an-invitation.1313002 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313002

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