Can someone explain eye contact to me?

Marsupian · 2012-07-04T15:50:07+00:00

In general you can keep eye contact a LOT longer than you think. That said maintaining eye contact indefinitely can become a little creepy in some cases. A good way to break it up a little is to look at something in your environment for a second and then go back to eye contact.

Also maintaining eye contact during a pause in the conversation creates sexual tension. This is not at all a bad thing (especially if you want to pick her up) but if you are just talking to a friend it's common to look away during pauses.

btw. When you break eye contact don't start looking around frantically to find something to look at. Just look wherever but pick a point/area and calmly move your eyes to it and stay there. If you start spinning your eyes around to find something to look at you look nervous.

Extra btw. It's all not really a big deal, it takes a long time for something to get weird or awkward and most people don't pay attention to your eye contact behavior.

locotx · 2012-07-04T17:20:34+00:00

As far as flirting goes, eye contact rule to never forget is this . . . always smile until eye contact is made . .when she makes eye contact . . show the smile . .let her see that she made you smile. . .and she's the reason. . .it's a small way of subliminally already saying "you are special you make me smile" . .which translates to you make me happy . . . try it.

When making love, eye contact is required . .especially when kissing . .it's part of the intimate and sensual sensation . . your eyes can say "I love you" without saying a word.

When having raw hard sex, eye contact is part of the intense sensual feeling . . she needs to see you look at her . .and see the desire and lust in your eyes . . it's part of the "I want you and I need you" sensation . . if you do it right it adds to the intensity and you can say the naughtiest, dirtiest thing while looking deep into her eyes and the only thing she feels or hears is "I want you" . . Hopefully ladies can confirm.

all_i_can_be · 2012-07-04T18:19:34+00:00

In the street: Yes, look at people until they make eye contact. Wait for them to break eye contact again. You can even keep looking at them and wait for them to re-establish eye contact. Some do this, some never even look you in the eyes and some will wait for you to look away. Some might flash you a smile. Just keep looking people in the eyes - eventually you will learn from their reactions.
Conversations: There is actually a notable difference between people with Asperger's/ASD/... and people without. People without hold eye contact while talking and the person who talks will briefly break eye contact when it's the other person's turn to say something. For example they would make a statement and then look out of the window until the other person starts talking, then they look them in the eyes again. People with Asperger's usually don't hold eye contact while talking. Their eyes are looking somewhere or randomly scanning the room. But they will establish eye contact when they expect the other person to say something. For example, they look around the room while talking and then look at their conversational partner when they expect a response. This is one of the reasons while these two groups get a long well among themselves but conversations get somewhat awkward when they mix.
In General (there are exceptions): Always smile, at least with your eyes. There are lots of different facial expressions, but one that's good for beginners is to look at a girl l like she has a secret and you know that secret but she doesn't know that you know. Remember to smile, otherwise it quickly appears creepy.

coyotelime · 2012-07-04T14:57:47+00:00

When holding normal conversation, the listener tends to make eye contact more often. I find that looking for my reflection in someone else's eyes helps significantly also. You can dart from eye to eye at a slow pace, nod, say uh huh etc. To escalate look at her and pretend she's getting naked. But don't be too creepy about it - practice in the mirror!

2012-07-04T19:34:13+00:00

You know, I never knew where to go to ask this question (I also have Asperger's). Thanks for bringing it up.

sprokolopolis · 2012-07-04T21:23:17+00:00

I was born deaf in one ear and grew up looking at people's mouth's as they spoke to understand them. I learned to read lips, because it was extremely difficult for me to understand others at the time. This made it very difficult to socially connect with people. When I finally started realizing that so much communication takes place through the eyes, I actively started forcing myself to look people in the eye.

I started with trying to (briefly) look everyone in the eye as I passed them on the street. When I was buying something I would make sure to look them in the eye and talk to them a bit. Try greeting them or spark a little conversation. You will notice that after doing this enough it becomes much more natural and organic. In turn you will feel more comfortable around others. People subconsciously feel more comfortable around people that have natural eye contact. If you don't look people in the eye, it communicates that you have something to hide. It can feel a bit unnatural or creepy to give too much eye contact, so don't over-do it.

turtle_thunder · 2012-07-04T20:10:13+00:00

The best way to learn is through experience, so set some goals for yourself. Try to become comfortable looking into peoples eyes as they look back. Start slow, when you are having a conversation, especially if you or the other person is explaining something, look them in the eye for as long as you feel comfortable. Over time you will keep looking longer until eye contact is natural for you.

Once you reach that point you can start using eye contact with strangers or try to push for sexual tension.

zach84 · 2012-07-05T02:23:13+00:00

Eye contact basics.

When you are listening to someone else: Maintain eye contact.

When you are talking to someone else: have moments of eye contact, but don't keep staring at someone as you talk. It gets sort of weird and uncomfortable. Basically, follow the patterns you see when others talk to each other.

As for attraction, that gets a little more complicated, and that is what seddit is for : )

Title	Can someone explain eye contact to me?
Author	throwaway59393
Upvotes	33
Comments	25
Date	July 4, 2012 2:50 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w16wn/can_someone_explain_eye_contact_to_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-someone-explain-eye-contact-to-me.1295812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1295812

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