Can someone help me? I feel like the most useless guy.

ThatSpecialPlace · 2014-11-08T18:35:37+00:00

Being unique IS attractive. You just need to be confident in who you are and love yourself.

I think you just need to work on yourself to get where you want. Overweight? Hit the gym. Not social? Go out and just talk to people. Doesn't even need to be girls.

I can't relate to the whole Asperger's thing, but I do believe RSD Tyler has it. Check out his videos, he pulls plenty of tail.

prodj9 · 2014-11-08T19:54:49+00:00

Hey man i am going to give you a few steps so you start making positive changes towards your life. 1. From your story i can tell you have hidden feelings, experiences or emotions from your past that you are not acknowledging. These things can easily affect your behavior and the way you live your life. So a first step is to take the time and think about every detail of your life past and present and start forgiving or start acknowledging your own mistakes. You need to make peace with yourself and others.

You seem to lack self investment. From your story i hear a lot of crying but not a lot of doing. To become the man you desire to be it takes time and effort, is not a one day thing. But believe me self investment is key to suceed in any aspect of your life. Take baby steps everyday, from working out for a few minutes to eating the right food from time to time. I know at first it would feel insignificant but if you keep doing it, you will start seeing how great of a human being you are becoming.
For this final step i want to adress your being "weird" situation. We all have different personalities and if being ourselves isnt harming anyone physically or emotionally then there is nothing wrong with you. The reason a lot of people feel their personality or character are not normal is because they are investing way too much on everyone else but themselves. If you have this mentality then you will feel awkward, not attractive, insignificant and other things. So start self investing man.

There is a lot to cover but this is a good start. Msg me if you have questions or comments. Good luck!

jacks_not_surprised · 2014-11-08T19:50:41+00:00

First of all...congratulations on your username...very original.

becoming a programmer, the most attractive job of all /s

Don't be a dick! Programmers are the rockstars of today man! Someone is a programmer means he's fucking smart...it doesn't get sexier than that man! Even the noun 'programmer' sounds cool!

lack discipline

That's not true. How do you sit down for hours and hours on end writing code, debugging(FUCKING DEBUGGING) if you don't have discipline?

am overweight

/r/keto

puamua · 2014-11-08T19:34:30+00:00

You gotta work on accepting yourself first. Forget women for a bit, they can sense how you feel about yourself, you can't fake it. Step 1, work on yourself in a way YOU can be proud of. Step 2, fight them off with sticks. The space between the steps all depends on how hard you're willing to work for yourself.

cewbren · 2014-11-09T00:19:45+00:00

Dude I'm in the same boat (aspergers and work in the IT field) and honestly I feel your struggle. Days go by where I feel completely disconnected from people in general and interacting and succeeding with beautiful women sometimes feels like a fantasy. Hell I'm even more inexperienced than you man (virgin with no GF's here, only a handful of makeouts and dates).

In terms of improving our situations, I think half of it comes with accepting your condition as something you can't really change but at the same time not letting it define you and the other half as accepting that some shitty traits/habits as something that is nothing to do with your condition and something that can be worked on. For example I sometimes identify as the socially awkward ugly fat guy but how much of that is actually down to my condition? The socially awkward part yeah you could definitely argue is but I wouldn't even go as far to say that it's the only reason, I hold my hands up and say yeah I sit on my computer too much and don't go out socialising often which can be an ordeal but common sense suggests the more you do something the more comfortable you become with it. The ugly part? Possibly due to lack of social skills I've received less positive feedback hence having lower self esteem but in all honesty the fact that I actually know that suggests that I can work on changing it! The fat part has absolutely nothing to do with aspergers, just a lack of discipline.

You've gotta take the positives as well as the negatives of having a condition like this. For a start if you actually work hard and get results you will have learnt way more about yourself and will be more of a man than any of the average joes that come looking for quick tips, you will have lived a journey. Then there's stuff I've noticed which is actually an advantage when out for example one of the usual traits of AS is that the person can come across as quite emotionally cold which sounds pretty bad from the offset but when you think about it is actually not bad when trying to get with women. Sometimes not even through trying I've attracted girls by being like that because it's the opposite of the needy guy that totally repels girls, I once had a smoking hot 28 year old teacher I met in a club tell me that she was impressed by how I didn't just bow down to her like every other guy seemed to be doing, I was confused and then realised that was just my natural way. Then you've got the obsessive side of it all, guys like us can usually (not in all cases) become really passionate and driven about something and you'll never guess what women like...a driven man.

I've not even covered half of what I wanted to say to you but I don't want to bore you with a wall of text, just wanted to point out that there are others that understand the struggle but we need to start taking advantage of it and owning up for our own personal failures. All is not lost for you man!

PissesTHC · 2014-11-10T18:56:46+00:00

Op it sounds like you undersell yourself. I did. I'm in no means attractive or was the social butterfly. I told myself one night "you know what pissesthc... You are the only person in charge of your happiness. The fact you are seeking someone else to be in charge of that is disgusting." Most girls don't go for looks first. From what I've learned girls want to be around someone who makes their own fun.

You yourself admitted to being overweight. Then exercise and look at what your diet consists of. Join /r/loseit. I challenge you to make a food/physical activity journal for a week(myfitnesspal and Jefit are great apps to help with this) . After a week look at it and determine if what is on paper will provide results you need. If it doesn't then change it and repeat until you see change.

Ops you would be surprised how long I felt unattractive. I missed on signals that I could of gotten response from. I look at myself like an idiot but I won't let myself miss it again. If you want to send me a weekly PM with progress as I want to see you succeed.

Title	Can someone help me? I feel like the most useless guy.
Author	I_ABUSED_YOUR_CHAIR
Upvotes	13
Comments	47
Date	November 8, 2014 5:04 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2lopc9/can_someone_help_me_i_feel_like_the_most_useless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-someone-help-me-i-feel-like-the-most-useless.1379334 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379334

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