Constantly finding myself in situations where it's difficult to approach

becomesharp · 2026-01-09T09:22:18+00:00

This is just fear manifesting as calibration. Give yourself this rule:

I will open every time i see a girl to open and the only valid reasons not to approach are:

She sees me and tells me to leave her alone
The police or security tell me to leave her alone
She joins a male companion who immediately holds her hand and/or kisses her
Your life or safety are threatened.

That means if you have to park your car, get out, and run after her, you do it.

If you have to walk into a store to approach her, do it.

If you have to approach her when she's with her mom and dad, you do it.

Not because these are "perfect scenarios," but because you need to teach your brain not to accept excuses or it will become emboldened to keep coming up with more until you never approach.

BayesianBits · 2026-01-09T09:03:41+00:00

Take your foot off the brake and step on the gas. When you see a girl you like, do everything possible to immediately meet her and introduce yourself. Hesitation is death.

lockandlood · 2026-01-09T07:45:37+00:00

Firstly, you're a pick up artist. Not an excuse artist.

In daygame situations is difficult to find someone standing idly. Everyone's doing something in the moment. I mean you could optimize for places where people are forced to stand and wait (escalators, elevators, smoking areas etc). But outside of those contexts you will be interrupting someone.

If you're no approaching at least try to maintain state by talking to strangers that you are not necessarily attracted to. I find it's easier to interupt cute women when I'm already in a talkative mood. Observational or indirect openers work best for me.

If you are "constantly" in difficult to approach situations it might be something psychological. The universe doesn't conspire against you if that's what you're claiming. I remember I would delay approaching until it was too late and then shrug as if there was nothing I could do.

She's only a few steps away and 3 second rules exist for a reason.

Former-Floor9376 · 2026-01-09T07:24:35+00:00

Understand this, nuance matters ... but only at advanced levels.

Essentially, by stopping her more smoothly you are showcasing calibration and social intelligence.

But at beginner stages, you just need to approach. Then you will discover everything else as it goes. For now focus on AA and not freezing up while in set.

Doing otherwise is a fool's errand because there is no guarantee the set will go well either way. The end result is you approach less and you delay your progress.

Here is some extra advice on AA: https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/2025/05/02/approach-anxiety-is-a-feature-not-a-bug/

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-01-09T10:55:41+00:00

Why should it be easy? Sit on a couch and regret your non-approaches, that's easy. Game is chaotic. Stop thinking and just do it. Override your limiting thoughts with affirmations like "I approach no matter the consequences, no matter the circumstances."

refreshingface · 2026-01-09T19:53:23+00:00

If you wait for the absolute perfect moment, you will get very little practice.

NamelesInternetDude · 2026-01-09T07:04:27+00:00

Nope, just stick to being as opportune as possible. The more you go out of your way to talk to her you'll add preassure to the interaction and make it awkward. My advice is try to frequen places that you know attractive women will be at.

UnkemptGoose339 · 2026-01-10T01:09:07+00:00

It’s all in your head of course. It’s how your brain is telling you to act based on what it perceives your status to be based on feedback from everyone and past experiences. You don’t have a lot of reference experiences of you succeeding with some from cold approach. Or if you do, you should be focusing on those and remembering how you did it.

Start small. Approach an old lady and ask how she is. Ask a random what’s up and keep walking. Do this as many times as you need to to keep going until when you get to a decent looking girl, it will come out of you naturally and you’ll be in set. Guessing where she’s from and playing thumb war or whatever it is you do.

FearInoculumTool · 2026-01-10T15:25:19+00:00

Understand that the way you describe this makes you appear extremely needy and desperate.

Title	Constantly finding myself in situations where it's difficult to approach
Author	squitter29
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	January 9, 2026 6:06 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q80i7i/constantly_finding_myself_in_situations_where_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/constantly-finding-myself-in-situations-where-its.1570767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570767

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