Crosspost: A womans perspective on flirting.

ZanshinJ · 2009-10-15T17:04:17+00:00

Surprise, guys. Sometimes, a woman just isn't interested. Sometimes, they're not even polite. Guess what, they're people. It's just another rejection. Say "fuck it," and move on to the next one.

Yes, her situation is shitty, and yes, I'd say that the measures she's taking seem a little extreme. But if she's going to handle stuff this way, then let her. I'd rather have a beautiful woman that isn't afraid of dealing with the bullshit that other men might throw at her than a beautiful woman that's got a twisted mentality due to a few near-misses.

Some people don't realize that at some point, you need to say "fuck it," to certain risks, and do what you want to do anyway. Some people don't want to do that. Live and let live.

Cthulutini · 2009-10-14T22:33:17+00:00

What women want is simple: be respectful of our boundaries like you would for any guy.

What men want is simple, too, but it doesn't mean we're going to get it. Male/Female interactions are complicated, and while I have some sympathy for the creepy experiences she's been through, I'm going to kindly ignore her advice because it will do me absolutely zero good in being successful with women (as any 'nice guy' who tries to come across as 'respectful' and inoffensive knows.) This generally goes with my principle of always never taking dating advice from a woman.

Avoid giving the appearance of ill intent the best you can, just like you try not to be misinterpreted in any other interaction.

Yeah, but guys you're never going to get anywhere if you try to come across as 'harmless'. By now you've heard of "Let's just be friends" ?

Do not think poorly of a woman because she has treated you coldly, and instead realize this is something she has to do because when she does not, people interpret it as interest and hassle her.

I've been turned down by women nicely, and I accepted it. She does not "have to" treat anybody coldly. She chooses to do so, and I will continue to think of such women as bitches. If you turn down a guy nicely, and he still doesn't go away, okay, then escalate. But being a bitch is never excusable.

Please realize that a few hurt feelings on your part are nothing compared to what women have to sacrifice to feel safe.

Oh? So bitch-slamming men in public is acceptable because you're feelings have been hurt by the 1% of creepy guys? What do women have to sacrifice, eh? If she thinks rejecting people is even 10% as painful as getting rejected, I'd like her to try it for an evening.

synn89 · 2009-10-18T13:14:40+00:00

I hate this post. This is exactly the feeling that a lot of men have to fight in order to approach women: believing that the girl is going to think that he is a freak. What this woman wrote is just a particular case, nothing else. I hope the next time we have a woman's article in the seduction section, it is not about a story of a particular girl.

Deacon · 2009-10-14T20:42:22+00:00

I'm sorry, I can't have sympathy for her. It's still treating all men as if they were stalkers. That's not fair. I'm sorry that she had bad experiences, but I am not responsible for them. I have a good (female) friend who works in a bar. She's been a waitress or bartender for four years, and she encounters douchebags on a daily basis, but it hasn't turned her into a sexless, man-fearing feminist.

silverionmox · 2009-10-14T21:29:20+00:00

One wonders how she got that boyfriend. The ways of courting that are socially completely acceptable rarely work.

funkpucker · 2009-10-15T01:06:30+00:00

While reading it, I kept wondering how any guy could ever get through her defenses. Does a guy have to be around her all the time in order for her to show interest in them? Obviously no casual conversation would ever have the chance of winning her over as she seemed to always be too busy or hostile. It seems to seriously limit the number of possible mates. And it makes me even more fearful about not finding another girlfriend as easily as I hoped. The few girlfriends I've had have either been in my social circle or I was casual with them for a long time before it happened.

logrusmage · 2009-10-15T03:09:01+00:00

I rarely downvote submissions, but I had to downvote this post on account of it being a bunch of tl;dr bullshit written by a frigid ice queen living in a fear based world. Just a basic understanding of mystery method will deal with 99% of a woman's initial resistance to a strange man.

What a piece of shit article. I never want to see bullshit like this in /r/seduction ever again.

Title	Crosspost: A womans perspective on flirting.
Author	modestokun
Upvotes	25
Comments	46
Date	October 14, 2009 7:26 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9u2ib/crosspost_a_womans_perspective_on_flirting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/crosspost-a-womans-perspective-on-flirting.1309627 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309627

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