Dating in Dance Class

HandsomestNerd · 2025-06-11T23:29:44+00:00

You're overthinking this, just ask her out.

-- a salsero who keeps disappointing followers with his comparatively lack of bachata skills 🥲

marajjoy · 2025-06-11T23:45:15+00:00

It's a pretty risky decision. It's quite common for relationships to form in that context, but it also has consequences that can be very negative if it goes wrong. If it doesn't work out, the situation will be awkward on the dance floor, but only at first; then that awkwardness will disappear, or you simply won't dance together much. I think this situation happens frequently, especially between advanced men and beginners. I can't give you pickup advice; I'm a novice, but I've been in the dance world for a while. I've had that experience with different outcomes: a wonderful relationship, but one that ended with me leaving the dance floor for a while, and another with an overly jealous novice who caused me problems despite being very clear on my terms. From those two situations, I made several assumptions, and now I act like this: if it's with novices, which is the most common since they receive attention, feel insecure, and you are very secure, it's the ideal context... What I do is keep in mind that I'm not a novice; if it goes terribly wrong, I won't be the one to abandon this hobby, it will be her. For this reason, if I see indicators of interest, I always go all the way, treating it as a game, and just expecting fun on both sides. Again, I've had varying results, but I think the negatives (rejection, agreements that didn't work out, jealousy, etc.) matter now: nothing happens, contact is broken, and there's some awkwardness at the beginning of future interactions. But I always act as if nothing happened. I talk to them cordially, make jokes, and if we see each other on the dance floor, I ask them to dance (less often, obviously). It's all absolutely normal. However, when it comes to girls with more experience and presence in this social context, I carefully consider my steps and try to pay close attention to their signals. I don't take any chances. Even if there's chemistry, if I think it could go wrong, I don't move forward, because this hobby is very important to me (evaluate this, ask yourself this question), and I don't want to risk my reputation, since I live in a small town and everyone knows each other, and there aren't that many dancers. If my city were bigger, I probably wouldn't act with such restrictions. Think about the worst-case scenario and ask yourself what the consequences would be. If they're not relevant, I think you should move on, not dwell on them, just have fun without fear. Fear limits us. What will happen if it goes wrong and you run into each other on the dance floor? Nothing. If it goes really wrong, you won't dance, which is irrelevant. If you just break contact, act normal, dance with her, put on your best smile, and have fun. You'll transmit that energy to her, and you'll see how the tension diminishes during the song.

Edit: You might find my last story interesting in this context. It happened a few weeks ago: I met a girl, a beginner. I asked her to dance several times because I found her very attractive. I didn't see any signs of interest, so I just took it as a game to improve some of my shortcomings. We met up twice more casually, and then I added her on Instagram. After a few days we had a date. I still don't know what mistake I made; I'm not very good at maintaining the sexual frame, so maybe it has something to do with this. We continued talking, but she told me straight away that she wasn't interested; she says she's not emotionally available, to which I responded confidently and with a bit of humor. I've made the mistake of hearing the story before (I went crazy with a girl, I asked about it on this subreddit), she said she'd tell me history with her ex, so this time I immediately rejected it with a "I don't think so today, it doesn't seem right to me," everything's fine, I just misinterpreted the situation, I thought there was something nice going on between us, and that if she ever feels like having a fun time, she knows where I am. Then, and only then, did she admit that she was interested but not anymore. Certainly, nothing happened; the day we were together was fun, I tried to improve some things during the process, and I didn't repeat mistakes from other occasions. If I see her again, we'll just dance to one song and that's it. The only thing I would have regretted is not having asked her out, that's for sure.

Sorry for my writing; I'm writing from my phone. I hope this helps you in some way!

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-12T03:06:33+00:00

Your insecurities are causing you to overthink because of your fear of rejection.

Have some confidence in yourself and trust in your instincts; otherwise, the world will just pass you by as you think.

My opinion: I wouldn't date this person because it would be really awkward if you do get rejected or it doesn't work out. And 23 is a bit immature and inexperienced for your age.

I would build on the friendship--which would be more valuable because you've stated that the relationship wouldn't be long term.

Mr_Serotonin_ · 2025-06-12T08:01:25+00:00

Which city is this?

Morph_Kogan · 2025-06-12T13:39:15+00:00

Why wouldn't you at least smash?

Interesting_Screen99 · 2025-06-12T19:52:47+00:00

People hook up in these communities all the time. Is she in your actual dance class? That's the only reason it might be awkward. Other than that, who cares? If things don't work out and become awkward, you don't have to dance with her.

chamcham123 · 2025-06-13T07:27:51+00:00

If she starts a relationship with you, can you handle seeing her dance with other men in class that are more attractive than you?

Playful_Dot_537 · 2025-06-15T22:48:27+00:00

You are likely stopping her from fucking you.

Stop putting speed bumps in your own way. None of that's stuff matters. You aren't trying merry her.

Get her away from class and then work that magic. 🪄

Ok-itsthetanman · 2025-06-12T04:01:44+00:00

Tan man has a tale

I used to do blues dancing on Tuesdays at a Jamaican bar The dance social would happen right after a lesson There would always be a fair amount of girls and guys and old and young. I found it to be a good way to get out and meet people, I feel for this cutie on the dance floor. We would dance every week I liked talking to her and she danced very good. Eventually I asked her out and we went on a few dates. She did not want a relationship at the time and the dates I guess would be hanging out from her perspective.

She stopped going to the blues dances I kept going One night I drank a lot of Jamaican long island And asked out every girl at the blues dance out A lot of them told me they had boyfriends or were not interested I tell you this for one reason If you go to a bacata or a salsa night

Go and drink, get loose Have some mother effin Jamaican long islands and ask some cuties out.

Go with the first approach meet every week Don't just ask every girl Have fun Stay loose and stay tipsy

Lit-Up · 2025-06-12T08:55:14+00:00

bachata dancer

Of COURSE you are! Sleaziest dance around and also the worst music going.

we both couldn't do salsa

Of course you couldn't do a proper dance with real music.

She's curious about the dating scene and is one of the reasons she's taking up bachata.

6 months down the line she will have fucked more guys than you've had hot dinners. And then she will leave the scene in embarassment.

In all seriousness, the bachata scene is full of Asian late bloomer dudes, making up for lost time by chasing really vain and hot eastern european chicks who only bang the top white 1%.

Abandon ship right now.

Title	Dating in Dance Class
Author	NicoDl
Upvotes	19
Comments	16
Date	June 11, 2025 10:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1l96npi/dating_in_dance_class/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dating-in-dance-class.1554495 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554495

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