Is it possible to tell that you're just looking for fun with no commitment without the other person feeling like a toy?

southseasblue · 2022-08-27T22:31:24+00:00

Yes, sure.

Hey, look, I want to be honest about all of this as I hate when people hide their intentions. I do like you a lot and believe you are a decent person, but currently I am in such stage that I am not sure if I am ready to commit to serious relationship. Still, if you would like that, we can have some fun together with no hard promises and time will show us the right direction. Hope you understand

Sth like this?

creativedave73 · 2022-08-27T23:24:37+00:00

I wouldn't talk about relationship goals right away. You meet a woman, strike up a convo, get her interested/attracted, lead her around the bar or club, suggest you leave together and have sex with her. As long as you didn't drug her or take advantage of her drunkenness, and it was consensual, she shouldn't feel anymore like a toy than you do. She's using you for her sexual pleasure too!

After a few more hook-ups, she might ask about relationship goals and then you tell her(after sex) that you like what the two of you have now. She will either be okay with that or not be. You haven't promised her forever, or made her feel like you were in a serious relationship. Let her know that you still want to see her like this, but if she doesn't, you'll understand.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2022-08-28T04:50:05+00:00

Save your breath, my dude. I'm sure you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but romantic attraction only lasts 18-36 months then she loses interest.

In my experience, women with low self esteem or who don't have knockout, head-turning bodies tend to be more willing to have LTR's. (Yep, even women succumb to scarcity mentality).

Next question you must ask yourself is what type of man do you want to be. A beta providing bucks or an alpha providing fucks. (That's not a flippant statement). If you only want sex then don't do LTR boyfriend type things. If you want a LTR don't treat her like a hookup.

The reason I'm saying this is because women will put you into either category and treat you accordingly based solely on your actions. If you aren't congruent with your intentions shit will get weird. Let me explain.

All my life I was only interested in LTRs because I found the idea of shagging several women a hollow pursuit and not what I wanted to waste my energy on. It took me twenty years to realize that all my life women had been putting me in the "alpha" column because they all wanted to fuck me, they just didn't want to be in a LTR with me. Imagine how dumb I was for twenty years not realizing how women were looking at me! And for me trying to force upon them relationships they didn't want from me. It caused me a lot of frustration.

You know what finally made me realize what was going on? The saying, "Women make rules for betas and break rules for alphas". None of the women I dated ever made rules for me, I had carte blanche. The one relationship I was in where she made rules for me, ended up with her cheating on me.

Women aren't so different from us, Gentlemen. They want someone at home who loves them and takes care of them and someone else who turns them on and completely fucks their brains out outside of the house. If you want to know the science behind it read Esther Perel's, Mating in Captivity. Also, devour any/all material by Esther, she knows her shit!

It's a trade-off. Do you want unlimited access to a woman's body for a short period of time or do you want limited access to a woman's body for a longer period of time? Figure out who you are, what you want and then plan your mating strategy accordingly.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-08-27T22:54:24+00:00

Yeah. Some girls are looking for the same thing. If I'm not interested in dating a girl, but want to sleep with her, I pretty much always say something along those lines.

mmmxmiaa · 2022-08-28T00:12:12+00:00

Yes be direct and honest with what you’re willing to give in terms of emotional affection and set expectations clearly in the beginning. Like when I was single, I told men, I’m not capable of anything serious right now cuz I’m still Figuring me out, but if you are up for some fun and only fun. We can get together. But I’m not in it for the long haul or anything serious. I just want sex from you. Just be direct and don’t lead them on. If you sense they’re getting attached reiterate your intentions.

Thai_Mango · 2022-08-28T04:36:41+00:00

Does not matter what you say. All you can do is be direct. There are two type of us. One that is ok with casual hangout and one that likes to date for a meaningful relationship. Trying to convince one to change might result in more disasters later.

Reasonable-Low4120 · 2022-08-28T08:54:46+00:00

Hmmmm.....the type you're looking for wouldn't peg themselves at being a toy. They'd be DTF and easy.

You're asking the wrong types of girls man. Seems like you want a girl with standards but want her to lower her standards for you.

Not many girls are looking for booty calls these days FYI. We got vibrators that do a better job anyway. 90% of hookups for women turn out disappointing. Too much risk for a woman. Not enough reward.

If you find a booty call or friend with benefits, treat her well because they are going to be extinct soon.

It's you. It's not them.

kyrensolo · 2022-08-28T00:25:56+00:00

Man this is my exact situation. Can a guy not get laid these days without everyone jumping on his case and telling him he’s a pig for wanting sex and that he’s using women as pieces of meat? It’s so frustratinng

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-08-28T01:45:55+00:00

alpha male strategies said that when a girl asks what youre looking for to tell them you arent looking for anything what ever happens happens and that telling them you are looking for a relationship will turn them off even if they are the relationship girl because if you are a high value male then why havent you found a relationship why are u still looking for one? someone of high value isnt looking for a realtionship because he can easily get one. woman date up not down

smisty19 · 2022-08-28T00:37:19+00:00

Is better you tell me what you really want rather then playing me like a toy, just come clean

zapadz · 2022-08-27T23:51:40+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kx7T5ptsFzo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbQpPF-NYoQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIlEXw6L5ds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-YYqEooT7s

Davy120 · 2022-08-28T01:22:30+00:00

I'm not sure of what exactly happened in your situation. I will say, in general, there does need to a build-up to an asking of such. Like saying it at the start of a date or meet-up isn't likely the best idea, it will more likely make her feel like she is being used. It's building the connection and those emotions, then you offer to go further,,,being in the moment of excitement and feeling safe with you..She says "yes"

You also said a "few" when going an approach like that, you will get a lot of declines, more than inclines.

Kooky-Land167 · 2022-08-28T01:37:31+00:00

No. Nothing is possible

Bacheegs · 2022-08-28T01:59:42+00:00

Absolutely, you can have fun and still treat someone like they have value for something other than their sex organs. You know, thats what friendship and things are for....

Title	Is it possible to tell that you're just looking for fun with no commitment without the other person feeling like a toy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	24
Date	August 27, 2022 10:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wzetnn/is_it_possible_to_tell_that_youre_just_looking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-possible-to-tell-that-youre-just-looking-for.1251107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251107

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