[deleted by user]

SergeantPocoyo · 2022-05-08T21:40:53+00:00

Dude take game out of it for a second. Imagine you’re at a party and another dude comes up to you with a smile, compliments you about something, then asks you to have a drink with him. You then proceed to have a drink together and have a few laughs. Your night was infinitely better after meeting the dude because he was a positive emotion in your night. It’s the same thing when a girl is involved. Everyone is after having a good time, it’s as simple as that. Don’t overthink it lol.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-05-08T22:10:08+00:00

They want fun to feel attracted initially to the guy, the want a winner to stay with that guy in the long term.

Confidence is attractive because it’s less exhausting to be with someone who is insecure.

A person that is scared or doubting himself, can’t be himself. Ever see how charming kids are when they are little?

That’s because society hasn’t screw them over yet and haven’t had time to develop insecurities, they are confident and fun because they have yet no reason to feel insecure about what could go wrong, and also don’t really care yet about their image or reputation or looking cool, since that’s an abstract concept they still can’t understand.

They are just themselves, and that’s all that matters, hence they are confident by default.

If a 3 year old kid started thinking: “Oh my god i’m a loser, people will laugh at me im gonna make a fool of myself”… That would be alarming to say the least.

Confidence just makes you enjoy life and have fun, and women want fun, like anybody else really. Who doesn’t want fun? Insecurity is stressful for both the person who suffer the insecurity, and for his partner who has to deal with his parents insecurity too.

Who wants stress? Stress is uncomfortable, it doesn’t feel good, we cannot relax when we are stressed and it basically gets tiring when we cannot relax.

Confidence is attractive to men too, not just to women. I don’t know if any man who likes an overly insecure girl, who is always nagging him about not loving her enough and controlling him because she is fearful the guy might cheat or abandon her.

It just feels good knowing you can relax and just have fun to escape our stressful lives for once and not having to worry, and that’s why confidence is attractive.

catniagara · 2022-05-09T02:46:08+00:00

Are you sure this thought process isn’t a defence mechanism because it’s easier to believe all of this than to understand that some men are bodybuilders and like their bodies, some men are both smart and confident, and some men are ordinary and fun, and most people can find someone to date if they are genuine and sincere? I feel like I’ve known/dated all the people in your example at one time or another and they’re not as you’ve described.

Contango6969 · 2022-05-08T21:41:23+00:00

They dont care about betting on the fastest horse. They will just wait around at the finish line and try for the horse that has already won. In the mean time while the race is going on they just want the fun horse.

Virtual_Sink4451 · 2022-05-09T01:40:47+00:00

It seems like a lot of women are attracted to trivial, unimportant traits. Confidence is kind of understandable. I grew a beard a 6 weeks ago and it’s been a massive hit. Im the same guy before the beard.

Other examples I see are driving a truck, certain taste in music, and social media presence.

Adjustedwell · 2022-05-08T21:46:08+00:00

What you're describing is definitely a phenomena that exists in some aspects, but its one of an infinite amount of variables and can't be used to describe the entire concept of successful dating.

There are a lot of guys who are attractive and intelligent and get women, they are very aware of what could go wrong but are competent enough to avoid/mitigate/or manage it when it arises instead of using it as a reason to never try or justify lack of confidence.

I think a stronger element at play is a general level of confidence based on early/adolescent experiences in socializing with potential love interests.

vardarac · 2022-05-09T03:19:47+00:00

What happens when you overthink shit on the savannah? You ded brah. What happens when you freeze in tense social situations with your tribe? You ded brah

2022-05-09T05:01:33+00:00

Because they're mostly insecure and bored - the opposite of confidence and fun.

2022-05-09T08:01:06+00:00

Confidence and fun are key ingredients to living interesting life with lots of emotions. Girls crave that too.

MrThrowawayXD999 · 2022-05-09T12:04:40+00:00

Evolutionary wise, confidences gives some assurance that a man knows what he is doing in the jungle, where anything can go wrong in this game of survival. Plus, it makes people more comfortable with themselves as well.

2022-05-10T02:42:53+00:00

People begin dating because of physical attractiveness. It is overwhelming compared to any other factor. The wikipedia page for The Matching Hypothesis lists numerous articles, studies done over a half century span of time.

I understand that when attractive people get attention, they like to think it was something they accomplished. Attractiveness is an extremely strong predictor of early stages of dating.

Here is one of the earliest studies, it included both men and women and found that attractiveness predicted the ability to both get dates and continue dating someone;

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2005-11095-001

It isn't surprising if you see stupid men who are successful with women, just as it wouldn't be surprising to find smart men who are successful in dating. In both cases the most likely cause of success is physical attractiveness. Confirmation bias will probably make you notice it more when the guy is stupid.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	15
Date	May 8, 2022 9:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ulbtb9/why_are_women_so_attracted_to_confidence_and_fun/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1260168 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260168

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